


Honey Can't Buy Me Love

by cloudsarefluffy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Human, Castiel Has a Crush on Dean, Complete, Dean Feels, Dean Has Realizations, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean and Kids, Domestic, Family Feels, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Garter Belt, Happy Ending, Horny Dean, Kid Adam Milligan, Kid Sam Winchester, M/M, Mating, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Not Beta Read, Not Underage, Omega Dean, Poverty, Profound Bond, Prostitution, Protective Castiel, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Slight Slow Build, Slut Shaming, Surprises, Sweet, Young Castiel, Young Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-01-13 15:04:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 50,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1230883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudsarefluffy/pseuds/cloudsarefluffy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is having to raise both Sammy and Adam after no one steps up to the plate.</p><p>It isn't easy.</p><p>Faced with unfathomable struggles and hard times, Dean resorts to questionable methods as to paying bills and keeping food on the table. He becomes a prostitute. However, he doesn't enjoy it- and if he had a choice, he'd do something else. But with a clock ticking down alongside the money he has to his name, he tries more than ever to get things on a still ground before it all falls apart underneath him, because if he fails, Sammy and Adam are going to be taken away from him forever.</p><p>Maybe he can find some stability with a next door neighbor, an alpha, along the name of Castiel- someone willing to give him anything as long as Dean and his brothers are okay. The omega feels as though he can never repay him.</p><p>Dean just doesn't realize that there's something else, other than money and sex, that can give the alpha the same care in return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If It Makes You Feel Alright

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty- so this is one of my fics that I paused from publishing to write for.  
> It's a little dark-themed, and it's got some heavy PWP in some moments, I suppose. 
> 
> I promise this fic isn't going to be too long and angst is far out of the question. Just read the feels and enjoy!~

 

* * *

 

 

“Can’t wait to fill you-”

Dean blocks the annoying alpha out right then, deciding that if he’s going to make this believable for him, he’s got to actually feel something during sex other than disgust. If he doesn’t, then he isn’t going to get paid- and that’s not happening. Not when Dean needs the money so desperately right now.

It’s not a known fact, but Dean is actually an omega. Only a few family members and close friends know what he is, minus the strangers he picks up to make living easier. Most people frown upon an omega selling themselves for money, and in some religions it’s considered a taboo- but when you have two mouths to feed and a job that barely pays the bills, Dean can take the hit on his dignity and do it without abandon.

He feels his back get pressed into the walls of his apartment, and his mind endlessly wanders like the strange tongue in his mouth. It’s his usual routine when this happens- block it out until he’s expected to respond in some way.

Better throw a moan in.

The alpha seems pleased with the noise, purring and licking long stripes up Dean’s throat as he murmurs things into his skin like, “Smell so good, baby.”

Dean tries not to roll his eyes, thinking about how much he’s going to have to pay towards his water bill when he finally gets his money from this. He holds an inner sigh, knowing that it’ll probably take away most of the payment he’s supposed to be getting from this. Apparently, dropping out of high school to raise your little brothers isn’t cheap.

“What are your rates?” the alpha nibbles on the lobe of Dean’s ear, rubbing his hips up against Dean’s.

“Forty for a blow, sixty for a rim job, and a hundred for sex- no knotting, though. That’s extra and a condom is always mandatory.”

The alpha snickers, “Afraid you might end up carrying my pups?”

“No- because you’ll be wearing a condom and I’m on birth control.”

This upsets the alpha slightly- always does- but Dean can tell them to take their knots and shove them up their asses if they’re going to complain. Dean’s not here to get pregnant, he’s here to get money to survive and that’s it. If it weren’t the quickest way for cash, Dean wouldn’t even consider this.

Dean feels the alpha push him up further against the plaster and he gives a fake laugh, “So what’s it gonna be, huh?”

“I think I’m going to get somethin’ a little cheaper than forty.”

Dean shakes his head, “Nope- that’s the lowest I’ll go and that’s only for a blow job, buddy. No price changes or flips.”

The alpha growls, “Excuse me?”

“What? Don’t like an omega tellin’ you what’s gonna happen? Sorry- but this isn’t up for debate. Forty for that only, or nothin’ else.”

“You think you can just tell me what I can do-”

Dean’s graced with having an abrupt knock come at the door, and for the first time ever he’s happy about conducting business in his apartment. The alpha lets go, growling.

“Is everything okay in there?” a low baritone comes through the wood, “Hello?”

“I think that’s your cue, big boy. _Leave._ ”

The alpha stomps towards the door, flinging it open on someone Dean can’t see as the omega comes to shut the wood to block out the stranger's view into not only his apartment- but his life.

“Wait-” a foot slides in between the door and its frame, “are you okay?”

Dean looks up, meeting unreal blue eyes and wispy raven hair, he swallows, “Uh- yeah. Thanks.”

“What was going on? I live next door and I heard the arguing and I thought something was going wrong… Do I need to call the police?”

“No!” Dean blurts, reigning himself back in and rubbing his neck as he blushes, “It’s fine- I’m alright.”

The man blinks at him, “Are you sure? By the looks of it, he was trying to do something fairly illegal.”

Dean clears his throat, “No, because you’ll end up gettin’ me in the slammer instead. What I’m doin’ isn’t so lawful, either.”

The man blinks, his scent reaching Dean’s nose and making his toes curl. _Alpha-_ this dude’s an alpha. It makes Dean a little nervous, to be honest, even though he’s been around hundreds of them before. Especially when they have their heads held high like they are a king and Dean is a peasant who needs to lick the dirt of their boots. Already Dean can tell this guy is different, and Dean doesn’t know why. The omega clears his throat, looking down because he knows what this guy is probably thinking.

“Why were you two fighting?”

Dean continues to look at the floor, trying to forget those blue eyes being on him, “Dude was trying to stiff me…”

“Why do you need to money? What’s so important that you’d- …”

Dean realizes then that he’s left Adam and Sammy’s toys strewn about in the living room, and he curses himself silently about it when he whips his attention back to the alpha, standing with his mouth agape and words dead in his throat at his doorstep.

“ _Please_ don’t call child services on me-”

“Whoa, I’m not going to do that, okay? Can I just come inside?” the alpha adds onto his request carefully, “I don’t think that this is the best conversation to have out in an apartment complex hallway.”

Dean nods, knowing that he's right, “Okay...”

The omega lets the alpha in, rubbing his arms as the man shuts the door and faces Dean. Dean can’t bring himself to meet his gaze, still looking at the floorboards as the stranger clears his throat to speak.

“How old are you?”

Dean answers quietly, feeling small even though he’s a little taller than his guest before him, “Nineteen, almost twenty.”

“How old is your child?”

Dean looks up then, blinking seriously, “They aren’t my kids. They’re actually my younger brothers…”

The alpha tilts his head in confusion and bewilderment, the mixture seeming almost natural to him, “You’re willing to sell your body just for them? Surely there is a parent that can- …”

Dean is guessing that he figures that one out on his own fairly easily, and it only makes Dean feel like his life is under a spotlight. Is this alpha going to take everything he has away? His apartment? His family? His whole life? Dean’s positive he can get all sorts of jail time and charges for this alone- and he knows for certain that he’d never be allowed near Sammy or Adam ever again if word gets out about what he’s been doing to keep barely any food on the table. Dean would give anything to not let that happen. He's about to prove that.

Dean moves forward, grabbing at the alpha’s lapels and drawing him close, breath hot against his skin as he closes the distance between them and tries to be as seductive as possible as his heart slams against his ribcage in fear, “I’d give you anything you want if you promise not to tell a single soul.”

The alpha has to take a second to process Dean’s half-lidded eyes and the new abrupt fact his hand has currently been placed on Dean’s ass. The omega waits patiently for the ‘okay’ or message of approval to come from him instantly. It never comes. Instead, the alpha shakes his head and pushes Dean away gently- a small part of the omega feeling outright rejected for some strange reason.

“No, I don’t want that. I’m not taking advantage of you, nor am I telling anyone about this situation that you are in. You needn’t worry.”

Dean sighs, falling against the wall with a heavy thump, that's one more worry out of the way, “Okay, good. Just because I have to suck dick doesn’t mean I want to.”

The alpha coughs awkwardly at that, only fixing his tie and brushing off invisible lint to put himself at ease. Dean gives him a moment to compose himself, assuming it is a little odd to have an omega as young as he is throw himself his way one second and close himself off off the next since he doesn't need to be like a damn doorway. It is, however, odd for an alpha such as this man to still deny Dean in the first place.

“How old are you?” Dean asks, wondering, “Most young alphas would have agreed and thrown themselves on me, but you don’t look aged enough to be at that point of restraint. So spill.”

“I’m twenty.”

Dean’s jaw drops, eyes narrowing in disbelief, “Seriously?”

“Well, almost twenty-one, but that’s in a few months.”

Dean shakes his head, laughing slightly to voice his denial, “There’s _no_ way. You would have humped me straight through this drywall if you were.”

He chuckles at that, and slightly blushes, “If I was like most alphas, than certainly. I, however, have learned to restrain myself and to uphold my morals rather than doing something idiotic altogether.”

“Good thing because I’m so _not_ in the mood to have sex tonight.” then Dean remembers, “But shit- I needed that money… Look, I know this may sound wrong, but I have to go find some other client so if you could leave-”

“No need.” he simply pulls out his wallet like it's nothing, his face sincere, “How much was he supposed to pay you?”

Dean blinks, literally blinks.

The alpha shrugs, pulling out a crisp Benjamin and placing it in the air between himself and Dean. The omega stares at the green paper, and it stares back. He feels wrong- like he needs a shower because of how dirty this whole exchange feels. But it doesn't matter because Dean can bathe himself in bleach, but he can never be clean again. Especially when this man seems to be so generous towards someone who doesn't deserve it a single bit.

“Are you going to take it?”

“I can’t possibly do that, we’re strangers… I don’t want to take your money. I can earn it, though.”

The man disagrees, “You obviously need it if you’re having to do things such as this to get by. It’s the least I can do for you.”

“But don’t you want somethin’ out of this?” Dean murmurs, feeling himself freeze within his doubt, “Isn’t there some catch?”

There’s always one. No matter what an alpha said or promised- there was always something that was subtly requested, some loophole they’d find to make Dean feel guilty or in debt to them. It was the worst part about sneaky alphas, knowing that Dean’s weakness is owing someone. He’s forgotten the number of times and people who have pulled that trick on him over the years and how it always bites him in the ass in the end.

“Absolutely not. I’m just giving it to you, nothing required at all.”

Well, _this_ is unexpected.

Dean slowly outstretches a hand, cautiously taking the bill and retracting quickly as though something catastrophic might happen if he didn't, “I’ll find a way to pay you back, I swear. I just don’t take charity and not give something in return.”

He shakes his head simply, “Nothing is needed to be reciprocated. What’s your name?”

“Dean.”

The man smiles warmly, “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Dean. I’m Castiel.”

Dean watches as Cas outstretches a lone hand, and Dean grabs it and shakes it, “Yeah, nice meetin’ you too, though the situation was a little weird.”

It makes Cas laugh, a sound Dean finds hearty and warm to his ears. He smiles at him, happy that for once he met an alpha who thought with his brain rather than his knot. It’s going to make things a little easier, especially if Cas planned on sticking around.

“Would you like to meet my brothers?” Dean blurts.

Cas smiles and nods, “I’d love to.”

 

* * *

 

Dean has to admit, Cas is a little weird. The man wears a full suit and trenchcoat wherever he goes apparently, and Dean has to hold back the mental label of ‘tax accountant’ every time he glances over to him. Seriously- extremely nice dude, but just plain strange.

Maybe Dean could _use_ a little strange in his life.

They go down to the bottom floor to apartment three where Charlie stays, the only person of two people in the building (now including Cas) who know about what Dean does for cash. She is literally an angel sent in disguise. Being a beta, she’s really easy going and takes to Adam and Sammy’s nerd ways easily without leaving rugburn like an alpha or lipstick stains like an omega would. Dean’s forgotten about how many times he’s come to get them with his head hung low and his heart to the floor, bruised, tired, and sore, only to smile when he saw them acting out the first Star Wars movie on makeshift couch settings. Seriously- _angel. in. disguise._

“Hey Charlie,” Dean grins when she opens the door, her fiery red hair pulled into side buns, “what part are you guys doing today?”

“Luke-” Adam’s voice booms in the small room, “I am, your father.”

Dean chuckles as Sam yells out, horrified, “ _No!”_

Dean looks over his shoulder to Cas, “They deserve awards don’t they?”

“All the oscars in the world.”

The comment makes Dean grin wider, to the point he thinks his cheeks might ache, “Hey guys, I’m done with work. Who wants some mac n’ cheese?”

“Me!” Adam and Sam scream at the same time, hopping off of Charlie’s overturned couch.

Adam is currently wearing a black bucket over his head and a blanket around his neck to form a makeshift cape, while Sammy has a broom in his hand with a horribly written scrawl of ‘ _Sam’s really awesome lightsaber_ ’ on its chipped and worn length. Cas seems to enjoy the weird sight immensely, chuckling behind Dean.

“Who’s that?” Adam asks, having to lift up the bucket to peak at the alpha with curious, innocent grey eyes.

“This is Cas,” Dean smiles, “he’s having dinner with us tonight.”

“I am?”

Dean nods, though his voice wavers with uncertainty, “Unless you don’t want to-”

“Of course I do.” Cas answers as soon as Sammy and Adam blurt, “ _Please?”_

It makes the trio of adults laugh, while Sammy and Adam start sword fighting with their ‘lightsabers’ again. Dean gives a small sigh of relief once they are out of earshot.

“Thanks so much, Charlie. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She grins, leaning on her doorframe and shrugging, “Probably collapse into yourself, I’m sure.”

The omega returns the smile, voice brimming with laughter, “I’d become the first ever human black hole.”

“Science would have a field day with you.”

Sam and Adam stop playing, coming over to the door with huge, goofy grins plastering their faces, “I wanna eat.” - they say at the same time.

Dean chuckles, guiding them out the door and once again thanking Charlie for being the amazing person that she truly is. Cas falls in step beside Dean as his little brothers race up the hallway to see who gets to the stairs first, making the alpha beside Dean hum with pure humor.

“Yeah I know, they’re goofballs.” Dean comments, feeling like a mother hen talking about her precious hatchlings, “But I love ‘em.”

“I can tell. I’ve seen just how far you’re willing to go for them. It’s a nice change to see a brother so devoted to raising their kin.”

Dean blushes, actually blushes, and like a schoolgirl no less as he looks down to the floor, muttering, “Well, I do what I can when I can.”

They walk up the stairs together, hearing Sammy and Adam’s laughs bounce off the walls as they ascend up to their floor. The whole time the omega shoots quick glances at the man beside him, trying hard to believe that this guy is an alpha rather than a beta- and is even twenty in the first place. Well, people had told him that he too was pretty mature for his age…

However, Dean wouldn’t classify getting fucked for cash as mature- but hey, it pays the bills and helps his brothers stay in school, so it works out. If Dean didn’t sell himself off to the first willing and funded alpha, Dean knows that they wouldn’t have made it. Knows that right now his brothers would be running on the streets instead of the stairs above them, and that Dean would probably have to end up doing it anyway to barely get anything. He’d lose Sammy and Adam- and that thought alone terrifies him enough to say yes over and over to the highest bidder without worrying about himself. So call him a skank, an omega whore, a bitch- but keep in mind that Dean is only laying down on a bed for an alpha so that Adam and Sammy can actually have mattresses to sleep on instead of plastic from a rusty, dented dumpster.

 

He doesn't really give a shit.

“You seem to be enthralled in your thoughts.” Cas says as he holds onto the railing, skin dragging across the metal easily, his shoes sounding on the cement steps as they make their way upwards slowly, “Should I be concerned that your head might implode in a way similar to how Charlie spoke about?”

Dean gives a small laugh, tight from his secret fears and concerns, “No, but I certainly am thinking. I was just wondering about what I do, ya know?”

Castiel listens, but doesn’t pry. It’s nice of him to keep his distance unless told to move.

“I just don’t enjoy it- what I do. The alphas I meet and what they want, it’s not something I particularly enjoy or fancy. Most people when they see me trying to get a client, they think I do it because I want a real knot instead of a plastic one, but that isn’t true. It never was.”

“Then how did it start up?”

Dean sighs, stalling a little bit up the stairs, needing to have some slight privacy away from his brothers so he could say why- just this once- why he did _all_ of this, “Things got tough for us- real tough. My job at the bar, which I just lost and need to replace, wasn’t making enough money. I barely paid off bills, our kitchen was mostly filled with empty air instead of food. I was asking favors more than I was fulfilling them. I thought I was going to lose my brothers then, until one night at the bar an alpha came up to me and asked if I wanted to make a quick buck. When I found out what I had to do, well… Dignity took a back seat. For the first time, we had actual food that night instead of that processed garbage in small portions. It’s not the best of situations, but… we manage. I manage.”

Cas tilts his head, “You said you lost your job at the bar, why?”

“The owner got tired of alphas tryin’ to hit me up while I worked.” Dean shrugs nonchalantly, “I was treated like a piece of meat there, anyways. I was thinkin’ about goin’ to my friend Bobby and seeing if I can get some work at his garage.”

“Well, if you need me to, I can babysit. I'm sure that Charlie needs a break for a little bit.”

Dean blinks, completely blown away by Cas' generosity, “Really, Cas? You’d do that for me already?”

Cas nods, knowing why Dean is hesitant, “Yeah- and don’t worry about paying me, it’s fine.”

“I swear you and Charlie are fucking saints.”

The alpha laughs, “Well, I do try.”

They walk up the rest of the stairs together, coming upon Dean’s brothers jumping at the door. Dean lets them in, hoping they can’t smell the strange alpha they’ve unknowingly had in the apartment a few hours or so ago. In any case, Dean heads into the small kitchen as his brothers start playing around in the living room.

Cas joins Dean, leaning on the counter by his hip, “Need me to help?”

“You’re makin’ me feel like I’m always gonna have to owe you somethin’…” Dean mutters, digging into the cabinets to find a pot, “but yeah, it would be nice.”

So Cas helps Dean start dinner. He helps with getting the water ready and shaping the pack of hamburger meat into small patties as Dean makes homemade fries. Sam and Adam are running through the living room as Dean chops the potatoes, Cas shaping meat beside him. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean catches steel blue irises and raven hair facing him, and he can’t help but feel a little nervous as he slices another end off of a potato into the bowl.

“How old are they?” Cas asks, finally.

“Adam’s about five while Sammy’s pushin’ seven.”

Cas puts a patty in the bowl, making a noise to Dean's statement, “Why such an age gap?”

Dean hears the knife connect with the cutting board before he speaks, “Sammy was born later on from my mother Mary- an unexpected thing, lemme assure you. She died a little afterwards from complications, though that wasn’t surprising considering we thought she was too old to be having anymore kids.”

“I’m sorry.”

Dean shrugs, though Cas' words are sincere, “Not your fault…” he continues, “Adam, however was born to my step mom, Kate. She and my dad got divorced soon after he was born, and John got saddled with him and the rest of us. It was all too much, I'm guessing, because he lost himself in the booze a little while later. When child services came knockin’ I made sure to answer the door so I could assure that my brothers didn't end up in foster care.”

Cas stops molding the raw meat for a split second, “How old were you then?”

Dean looks down nervously, disappointment as obvious as his shame, he continues chopping a small bit of potato, “Barely eighteen…”

“Weren’t you still in high school?”

“I dropped out.” Dean mutters, “Even though I only had a few months left, they were far more important than my diploma. The jobs I needed to work took up too much time for a high schooler- so it won out in the end. Besides, I’m not that smart anyways…”

Cas stops what he's doing altogether, looking towards Dean in shock as though he had covered himself in gasoline and was about to light a match, “Don’t degrade yourself like that- I’m positive you’re intelligent. Most kids your age then would’ve dropped out because they were tired with school or wouldn’t of even had a job. You left so you could basically become a parent because no one else was willing to do as much for your brothers. You gave up a lot, you still are, and you’ve managed to keep your little family unit afloat while I’m sure those other kids are still at home with their parents complaining about how things are too hard.”

Dean blinks, feeling red paint his cheeks once more as he looks down towards the regular potato, “Way to make me feel like I’m somethin’, Cas.”

“That’s because you are.”

Dean just turns an even darker shade of scarlet as he continues chopping. Soon enough, dinner is on the table and everyone is eating. It’s nice, dinners. It’s one thing Dean looks forward to even on the worst and most pressing of days. Sammy tells him all about school and what he learned while Adam shows Dean what he made in art. It’s a good thing, because it lets Dean know that what he does behind closed doors is paying off in the end. That it’s worth it.

Cas seems to be enjoying it too, smiling as Adam reveals his noodle masterpiece of the three of them outside, “I’ll add you in later, Cassie.”

Cas smiles warmly, tone soft, “I don’t think I’d fit on there.”

"I'd make room for you." Adam smiles, pointing to an empty space and tapping with the small pad of his finger, "You could make it it right there- beside Dean."

Dean just looks down towards his plate, moving his mac n' cheese with his fork. He knows the alpha is more than likely looking at him, and the best Dean can come up with is staring at his cheese covered noodles and playing with his fork like a two-year-old.

"I'd like that."

Dean nearly chokes on air, but he manages to play it off as a cough as he swallows some water. His cheeks are burning, and he's positive the tips of his ears are aflame right now. The omega takes another bite and tries to calm his stuttering heart down before it kills him or bursts.

The rest of dinner is easier to take, considering Sammy is talking about how he was getting tested on the water cycle, and that his favourite part was getting to draw the seasons.

"Snow is nice, and the rain is pretty easy to draw- but summer's my favorite. I like the warm sun more than anything."

Dean smiles, knowing somewhere in his heart that Sammy's really gonna love California, "That would be nice wouldn't it? Some sunshine?"

"Yeah!" Sammy beams, "Then I could go outside and play Star Wars with Charlie!"

Dean laughs, seeing that Cas has finished eating, the alpha contently watching them interact, "Done already?"

The alpha nods, "It was good food."

"Well thanks, Cas." Dean smiles, returning his attention towards his brothers, "Hey- bedtime guys."

Sammy pouts and Adam just shrugs.

Dean takes them to their room, tucking them in as he hears Cas cleaning up the table, dishes clinking in the air a few feet away as he pulls some sheets over Sammy.

"Is Cas staying with us?"

Dean shrugs, picking up a few toys before he comes to rest on the end of Adam's bed, "I don't know- it's too early to tell."

"I'd like him to stay…" Adam murmurs, eyelids drooping as he pulls the covers closer to himself and snuggles against them, "He makes you really happy."

"Yeah- you deserve to be happy, Dean. We like him a lot." Sam adds, his voice already small with exhaustion.

Dean flushes once more, unsure as to what he's supposed to say or so in this situation, "It depends… Go to sleep…"

Dean shuts off their light and shuts their door, resting his head against the wood for a split moment so he can just breathe. He opens his eyes to see blue ones watching him from the kitchen. It startles him.

Dean reigns himself back and sighs, walking forward with a new determination, and hoping to whoever is listening that his blush isn't still obvious.

"Thanks for helping out, Cas." Dean murmurs, "It means a lot."

Cas grins, smiling wide and blue eyes crinkling warmly, "It’s the least I can do, Dean.”

The omega joins in on the clean up duty, grabbing plates and cups to set away. Afterwards, Cas sits at the small bar-like jut of the countertops as Dean washes dishes on the opposite side. His hands are all sudzy when Cas clears his throat.

“Dean,” he begins, pausing, “when do you need to look for a job?”

Dean halts on dishes for a moment, grabbing the counter and thinking, “As soon as possible, honestly. Child services will take them away if I don’t have one, and I’m terrified of that happening…”

“Then why sell yourself, Dean? I’m positive they’d take them away if you were caught.”

Dean looks down towards the bubbles, the dishes lying underneath the water- he can relate- and he just sighs, “I- I know… I don’t want to do it, okay? I never did. But it was either put _myself_ out there or have _them_ get put out to foster families. I couldn’t have that happen, they’re too young to go through something like that. What was most important took up rationality, so while it makes sense to just stop this altogether, I’d still wouldn’t be able to afford anything. I’m in a sinking boat over here, Cas.”

“Then how about I help you out?”

Dean shakes his head, knowing that it’s too good of an offer to take up, “I can’t, Cas. There’s no way I could ever repay you…”

"That doesn't matter- you don't need to worry about returning the favor with me. Seeing you all happy and stable is enough."

There's a swell in Dean's chest, Dean silently pointing a finger at his omega side instead of doing anything mature, and he bites his lip as he blushes for the thousandth time tonight. This fucking dude...

"You know- with the shit you're saying-" Dean gives a slight laugh, "I'm having a hard time thinking that you're real."

Cas smiles, "I can assure you that I am."

The omega just grins back like an idiot, resuming washing dishes as Cas watches. Normally, Dean would be uncomfortable with having an alpha- especially one he doesn't know fully yet, or a client- prancing around with his most valuable possessions sleeping just a few feet away, but with Cas it's different. He feels like he should be there, or at least have a shot at trying to be present. It's like having a void Dean didn't know he had was just being filled by this man's presence alone.

The thought slightly terrified him, but he remained nonchalant on the surface, even when his emotions were a train wreck and his mind was in turmoil. He finished the dishes quietly and guided Cas to the door and smiled, leaning on the worned wood as Cas lingered slightly in the hallway, rubbing at his neck awkwardly.

“Just knock on my door if you need anything…” he assures simply, eyes fully entranced by the patterns woven into the carpet below, “It was nice meeting you, Dean. I had a nice time tonight.”

Dean grins, also looking towards the floor as the heart in his chest beams work. With something warm and happy like a newborn kitten, “Will do… And so did I… Just come over whenever you want to, Cas. At least when I’m not… working.”

Cas just nods, seeming to blush at the words when they are heard and processed, “I’ll make sure to knock.”

It makes the omega laugh quietly, letting his eyes far quickly around the apartment complex's dainty hallway, “Of course… See you tomorrow, Cas.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Dean murmurs, his throat threatening to collapse on him in nervousness, “I need to start looking for an actual job as soon as possible, anyways. Guess that means you get babysitting duty on a Saturday. Sorry…”

Cas meets Dean’s gaze then, those blue irises twinkling in the unnatural light, “There’s nothing to apologize for, Dean. I’d love to watch them.”

“Well-” Dean can’t believe his heart hasn’t burst yet and caused him to become as dead as a doornail right where he stands, “it’s set then. See you in the morning, eight sound good?”

“It sounds wonderful.”

They grin stupidly at each other for a small moment, Dean feeling his palms dampen with anxious sweat and his heart lurch, his stomach feeling queasy with butterflies as Cas walks to his door just a few minor feet to the left. He unlocks it, sending a quick glance and smile towards Dean before entering and escaping the omega’s view completely.

Dean shuts the door abruptly after that, sagging against it with a small abbreviated huff, “Get a grip of yourself, Winchester…” he mumbles as heat spreads through his cheeks to pool together even lower than before, “You’re acting like a horny omega- and you aren't even in heat…”

As Dean walks back to his dark room, he thinks that maybe having thin walls here wasn’t a bad thing for once.

**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**


	2. I'll Get You Anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, I finally got around to finishing this damned ch.  
> #thestruggle
> 
> Sorry, life got in the way of writing/updating this fic, and I apologize for that. :/  
> Either way, here's the 2nd ch that people asked for with a lil' more fluff and all that.  
> I have so much planned for this, hehe.
> 
> No idea how long it's going to be, but I'll roll with it.  
> Also, no idea on updating ranges. Apologies.
> 
> Enjoy!~

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Castiel blinks his eyes open to the alarm beeping annoyingly on his bedside table. Today is an important day in the alpha’s mind as he remembers the job he now has just a door down. 

 

Babysitting.

 

Never before in his life did Castiel think he would ever have to watch over any children, but it’s a welcomed change. Especially when Dean was involved- a whole other variable Castiel never expected. You see, as an alpha, Castiel was raised to believe that one day he would take on a mate. He despised this proposition from early on, knowing that there was really no point for him to go out and try to impress an omega. He didn’t want to knot anyone no matter their gender, he didn’t want to mate in the first place- he didn’t want anything of what he was supposed to naturally crave.

 

It’s more than likely one of the reasons his parents split when Castiel was young, his mother always arguing with his father- someone deadset in having a son that was supposed to make him very proud. Apparently, not wanting to mount an omega and fuck them through the sheets and mattress was something severely disappointing to him. Castiel’s mother divorced Castiel's father, took a large amount of his money, and kept Castiel as her own and raised him by herself. Her hard work and labor rests in a bank account attached to Castiel’s name, something he rarely uses for anything other than a small amount of groceries or the meager rent of his  apartment.

 

He quickly showers, dressing in his usual professional attire and then heads over to Dean’s apartment, swallowing uneasily. Castiel doesn’t know what about this omega that makes him so different from the others, makes him so special in Castiel’s eyes that last night his mind made the exception to the ‘no omega for me’ rule with a rather suggestive and vivid dream including him in the early hours of the morning.

 

He cautiously knocks on the wood lightly, unsure if Dean is even awake or if he’s supposed to arrive yet, but it opens nonetheless. There stands Dean, his bed hair apparent and olive eyes widening when seeing the alpha in front of him.

 

“Oh hey, Cas.” he spits out, Castiel noticing that Sam and Adam are already awake behind Dean and chasing each other through the living area, “Perfect timing- I could use a hand.”

 

Castiel walks in, seeing the apartment in a complete state of distress. Adam and Sam, however, stop sprinting when they notice Castiel watching them, looking over the mess that had become the joined kitchen and living room in his short absence.

 

“Hi Cassie!” Adam waves with a smile, making his plump cheeks squish on themselves, “Are you watching us today?”

 

Castiel nods, seeing both of the boys' eyes brighten with excitement, “I am.”

 

Sam grins widely, his chocolate shaggy hair clumped from sleep and playing with his younger brother, “Maybe we can finish our Star Wars game… Have you seen it before, Cassie?”

 

“I’m afraid I haven’t.”

 

All three of them gasp, especially Dean who is now staring at Castiel with his mouth agape. The alpha doesn't understand.

 

“Is that a bad thing?” Castiel adds, nervous and confused.

 

Dean just blinks at him, as if the reason we're obvious and Castiel was blind, “Dude- how can you not know about Star Wars?”

 

The alpha shrugs nonchalantly, unsure as to why the three of them are eyeing him like a monster or something else unusual, “I just don’t, Dean.”

 

“We’re gonna watch it!” Sam yells, jumping over to some shelf lining the wall and removing the DVD’s in large stacks, “You have to watch it with us, Cassie! You have to!”

 

Dean grins widely as Adam and Sam try to figure out the DVD player when he looks over to Castiel, “I’m gonna go get ready to leave. Think you can handle em’ on your own?”

 

“I believe I can-”

 

“Cassie!” Adam squeaks loudly, his eyebrows drawn together from frustration, “Help us- we can’t get it playing!”

 

Dean laughs, something purring silently inside of the alpha at the comforting sound, “There’s your que, dude. I’ll be in the shower, and if anything goes severely wrong, just come get me. But give me a little warning first so I can come out in clothes and not be naked and sudsy.”

 

That statement, of course, does nothing to help Castiel as his mind wanders with vivdly imagined images. He doesn’t know why he fantasizes about Dean already, especially when they are still complete strangers- let alone the fact he’s never even had sexual dreams before until last night. It bothers him slightly, to notice such a change within himself after knocking on this door yesterday night to see why there was shouting.

 

“Cassie!”

 

The alpha gets knocked back into reality, Dean having already left to take his shower while the two younger boys huddle around the TV in more frustration. Castiel simply fixes the disc, presses the button, and lets the machine do what it was designed for. Adam and Sam seem entranced as images play over the screen, and they sit as still as rocks when the movie begins. Castiel watches from a distance as he starts to clean the apartment from earlier, finding that it keeps his mind occupied rather than having it free to wander onto a naked omega named Dean showering just a few feet away.

 

However, it only worsens when he finds traces of other alphas' scents in the apartment, stale but still present as they linger in the strands of the carpet. Something within Castiel growls at the thought of some other alpha being in the apartment with Dean- doing exactly what his mind had painted up last night onto his eyelids as he slept. It rubs his skin the wrong way, and he finds his mood souring at the amount present and that all of the scents seem to be woven into the actual carpet. Maybe he can shampoo all of them today, or buy Dean new ones that smell like linen rather than alpha…

 

Wait- why is he being so _obsessive?_

 

“Amazing isn’t it?” Castiel nearly jumps as Dean’s voice comes up quietly from behind him in the kitchen, the alpha looking over to see Dean watching his brothers as he leans against the wall, hair toweled and already dressed in clothes, “You can put a movie on and they’ll just forget about the world around em’.”

 

Castiel follows Dean’s gaze, finding it to rest on the two boys whose focuses are glued to the screen and what is playing, “I suppose so…Though I haven’t had a chance to gain much experience with children in general. They are rather… foreign- to me.”

 

“Well- here’s your chance to become a pro, Cas.” Dean walks over and clips Castiel’s back with a reassuring hand, the touch lingering on Castiel’s nerves as though Dean's skin was still pressed up against them, “I’m off. I’ll call the house phone occasionally and see how things are going. Worse comes to worse, just dial the number on the fridge and Charlie will come up and help you… Thanks, Cas. Really… For helping me out so much already.”

 

“It’s a pleasure, Dean.” the alpha looks away from the omega as he returns to putting dirty dishes into the basin of the sink like Dean did last night after dinner, trying to ignore the strange sensations he's feeling and failing immensely.

 

Dean lingers for a moment, like he has something important to say or ask, but he apparently thinks better of it and walks up to the door.

 

“I’ll be back in a few hours, mind Cas you two!”

 

All he gets are affirmative grunts from his brothers, making him chuckle to himself, when he glances over to Castiel. He smiles and gives a small wave of his hand, mouthing, ‘I fucking owe you’ into the air before he pivots to face forward. He shuts the door, leaving Castiel alone in the apartment with his brothers and the alpha's own thoughts.

 

Cas stares at the door for a moment, mind wondering when Dean’s going to come back through it. Is it a bad thing that Castiel feels uneasy to not knowing when?

 

**__________**

 

Dean exits his shit car, a beat up rust bucket that isn’t even the worth the gas Dean fills it with. The engine sounds like it’s one more start-up away from being in flames, and the spare tire it acquires on the tail end is smaller and makes the car look slightly awkward.

 

“Piece of shit…” Dean mutters to himself while walking away from it, shoving his keys into his pocket to go inside Bobby's garage.

 

Bobby’s a good friend of the family, knows what Dean’s been and is currently going through. He may be a beta, but Dean’s never seen one that’s so assertive and temperamental. It’s kind of a nice reprieve to find someone else unwilling to submit to their gender's stereotypes. Bobby has even been more of the fatherly shoulder in Dean’s life, and the omega is kind of grateful for even having him there in the first place.

 

And now he’s here to come begging for a job…

 

_Nice._

 

Dean pulls the entrance door open to smell car grease and oil, a small part of his mind instantly relaxing at the scent as he walks up to the desk. Bobby is behind it, not even looking at Dean while he types on his computer- horribly. Apparently, Bobby Singer is awful with technology.

 

“What cha need, boy?” he spits out, his brow furrowed in irritation as he pokes the ‘enter’ key with a forceful finger, “Can’t you see I’m strugglin’ here?”

 

“I can- and maybe I can help with that…” Dean takes a deep, grounding breath, and lets the words spill over his lips even though they feel so wrong to think let alone say, “I need a job, Bobby.”

 

Bobby looks up, concern now replacing his annoyance, “You got fired from the bar?”

 

Dean looks away from the beta, guilt and shame lining his mind heavily as he swallows, “Uh- yeah… I did.”

 

“Why? You didn’t get caught bookin’ a client on the clock, did ya?”

 

Bobby knows about what Dean does, and out of everyone he knows, he’s actually the most supportive of him about it. Most criticize him for what he’s doing, but Bobby understands that Dean has a family and he’s going to support them no matter what. Besides, Bobby’s learned from years and years of offers that Dean doesn’t take handouts that often- and even if he agrees to accept it, it's a struggle.

 

“No… I got fired because people wanted me as a client myself.” Dean mutters, “Either way, I need to get some form of actual employment before the service gets on my ass about it. I don't Sammy and Adam get shipped off to god knows where.” 

 

Bobby sighs, giving up on the computer as he looks at Dean, “I know you don't son. I can let you work with this piece of bull right here, if you want. Maybe after a while we can get you up to speed on cars.”

 

Dean grins, “Sure, Bobby- that’d be great.”

 

The beta smiles back, but then lets it fall slightly, “Charlie talked to me on the phone last night.”

 

“Yeah?” Dean feels like some sort of speech is coming on.

 

“She said you had an alpha with you- an unmated alpha. One that lives in your complex…”

 

“Bobby, it’s not what you-”

 

Bobby shuts Dean up by glaring, “You can’t expose Sammy and Adam to that stuff, son.”

 

The omega somehow feels even worse than before, but he just lets his shoulder sag, “Bobby, that was Cas. He helped get a client off of me when they weren’t willin’ to pay up. He’s not like that.”

 

“Well, I’m gonna meet him and decide that for myself. I’m comin’ over later.” he begins to walk away before saying something quietly over his shoulder, “Haven’t seen the boys in a while, anyway…”

 

Dean just nods, letting Bobby walk away as he comes to sit behind the counter and stare idly at the computer screen. It’s open to some window, Dean guessing it’s important to whatever Bobby was fighting with, but he doesn’t really feel like clicking any buttons or moving the mouse right now.

 

He’s guessing he’s hitting a low- but that’s okay. It happens sometimes, with the stress of having to raise his brothers looming over his head while alphas loom over his shoulders with “fat” wallets and knots. Dean doesn’t care about them or their overly accentuated opinions of themselves, or the fact the bills are hard to pay and he’s struggling to keep his head above the waterline. As an omega, he especially feels this weight. 

 

People always ask him, “if you have kids, why aren’t you mated?” and it’s simple. Dean doesn’t want to be mated, not really, not if he puts in the recesses of his mind. He shoves his basic desires and focuses on getting the job done, mate or not be damned. He knows he’s getting silently judged for it, even by Bobby and Charlie. They’ll bring up the subject every now and then of why he hasn’t gotten himself someone who can fix all of these problems that keep the omega awake at night.

 

That’s the thing though- Dean can’t do that. He won’t; he refuses to.

 

He needs to prove to the world that he’s not some stereotypical omega begging for knots and an alpha to come sate or sire them, and he’s definitely not a prostitute for shits and giggles. He does it to support the family that no one really wanted or cared for, he did it for his brothers so they can see that not all of their family amounts to nothing or shit. He also wants to show them that gender doesn’t matter when it comes to child services trying to book you on something, or whenever a bill comes up in the mail and is due- so your gender shouldn’t stop you from getting shit done.

 

But then again, Dean is feeling like no matter what he does, it isn’t helping.

 

Sure, the late nights with random alphas help, but it’s not enough- it’s not good. Dean’s afraid of catching something or accidentally winding up pregnant, and he doesn’t want to be paying for treatments (and losing one of his biggest profit makers in the process) or another mouth at the dinner table when he can barely afford to fill his own. He wants out.

 

...

 

_He wants out._

 

Dean looks up, the realization brimming on his mind.

 

He’s tired of it- he’s almost done.

 

Dean needs to find some other form of extreme bill making before he explodes from inside to the outer edges of the universe.

 

Dean looks at the phone on the table, eyes narrowing slightly at the black item before he picks it up, making a call.

 

**__________**

 

Castiel’s head perks up at the sound of the phone ringing in the kitchen. He looks down to find Adam and Sam asleep on the floor, credits rolling over the screen as the alpha picks himself up off on the couch and pads into the kitchen.

 

“Hello?” he answers gruffly, a little worn for Dean only being gone for an hour or so.

 

There’s a small breath on the other line, “ _Uh- hey, Cas. What’s up?”_

 

Castiel has to blink for a moment before his mind realizes that it’s Dean- and he coughs to clear out the now awkward feeling he has clinging inside him with slithery tentacles, “I’m doing well, Adam and Sam are asleep right now… Is something wrong?”

 

“ _No-”_ Dean blurts, and Castiel nearly jumps with force of the speaker vibrating with volume as Dean takes a small, tiny breath, “ _nothing’s wrong, Cas. Just a little stressed is all…_ ”

 

“Want to talk about it? Maybe it can help.”

 

Dean pauses for a few, minor seconds and ponders, “ _I guess…_ ”

 

“What’s bothering you the most right now, Dean?” Castiel asks, hoping maybe it can get Dean to open up to him about more of his problems so he can help.

 

“ _I just- I don’t feel like I’m doing anything, you know?”_

 

“I don’t.”

 

Dean sighs, “ _This isn’t helping-”_

 

“Dean.” the alpha interrupts, “You can’t disregard what you’re feeling right now… You’ve done enough of that.”

 

Dean seems to take a moment, his breaths softly sounding through the speaker against Castiel’s ear, causing Castiel’s mind to wander into dark corners of his imagination, “ _What does that mean?”_

 

Castiel looks over to Dean’s younger brothers, leaning against the countertop as he speaks in a quiet, and soft tone, “I think that you’ve spent too much time worrying about other people than yourself. Society teaches us that it’s wrong to try and protect ourselves- and I guess to a certain extent that is true- but in this case, I disagree.”

 

“ _What are you trying to say? You sound like a fortune cookie, Cas._ ”

 

“I’m trying to tell you that you need to take a step back and look in the mirror.” Castiel watches as Adam snuggles closer to his brother’s side, reminding Castiel of how much Dean has sacrificed for them, “You’ve done so much for your brothers, you’ve given up your high school diploma and even your body for them, but you’ve barely given anything to yourself. You give yourself scraps to make sure everyone else is fed, you give yourself pennies and dimes because your brothers can’t buy themselves clothes with such small change. But the most I don’t understand is why once in a while you won’t let yourself having something more than just what’s at the bottom of the barrel. That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Dean. Take care of yourself, get something you want for once in your life. Indulge. Spurge. You’ve earned that right a thousand times over.”

 

Dean doesn’t say anything other than a few short sounds from the other line. For a second, Castiel thinks he might have hung up or left the conversation when he hears a small sob over the line.

 

“Dean?” there’s another sob, “Are you okay?”

 

Dean seems to realize that the alpha can still hear him, because he clears his throat and says with a wavering voice, “ _Of course I’m o-okay…_ ”

 

“You don’t seem or sound like it… Do you need me to come get you?”

 

There’s a small pause, “ _Yeah… that’d be nice…_ ”

 

“I need to call Charlie then so she can come up here and watch Sam and Adam. As soon as I get that settled I’ll be on my way. Where are you?”

 

“ _Do you know where Singer’s garage is?”_

 

“I do.”

 

Dean seems to relax a minor fraction, “ _Okay, that’s good… Um- see you in a bit._ ”

 

Castiel smiles, “Goodbye, Dean.”

 

“ _Bye._ ”

 

However, right before Castiel hangs the phone up, he hears, “ _Wait!”_

 

The alpha quickly brings the phone back up to his ear, brows furrowed in concern, “Yes, Dean?”

 

“ _Thanks, Cas…_ ” he waits a few seconds, “ _Really, I owe you…_ ”

 

“It’s fine, Dean. I’ll be on my way shortly.”

 

Castiel finally hangs up the phone, hearing a few more sobs come out on the other line before the phone disconnects. It makes his heart drop a little in his chest, ribs feeling weighed down as his heart presses against the bones with the lead-esque qualities of guilt. He quickly phones Charlie with the number Dean had supplied him with, finding the notepad stuck on the fridge door as he had said. She thankfully didn’t have anything to do and wanted to help out while Castiel got himself ready to go. As soon as Charlie entered the room, Castiel left with a rushed goodbye and apology as his keys clicked together in his pocket.

 

The alpha was thankfully able to drive the speed limit as he reached the garage, Dean standing outside with his arms crossed and eyes puffy and red from shedding tears. He sees Castiel pull up in his Toyota, quickly wiping away tears and trying to make it look like he wasn’t crying when they both know better. Castiel gets out, standing with his form halfway out of the doorframe.

 

“Hey, C-Cas…” he says, visibly wincing as his voice catches, “I, uh- hi.”

 

“Hello, Dean.”

 

The omega looks away towards the cars driving on the street, purposefully avoiding the man beside him, “So… this where I work now.”

 

“That’s nice.” Castiel awkwardly comments, “But are we going to keep dancing around this, or talk about it?”

 

“Talk about what?” Dean asks dumbly, and Castiel knows that Dean is aware of what he’s pointing towards, he just doesn’t want to see or notice it.

 

Castiel sighs, leaning against his car after the door shuts, “Dean, there’s something going on and I’d like you to at least tell me about it, okay?”

 

The omega blinks at him, the white around his eyes pink with irritation as the eyelashes clump together from fallen tears, “There’s a lot of things happenin’, Cas. We live in a world that’s constantly in motion. Of course things are going to happen.”

 

“Dean-”

 

“Cas.”

 

The alpha tries to catch his breath, “Please, I’m only trying to help here.”

 

Dean nods, crossing his arms over his chest, “Yeah, I know… I don’t know why you are, by the way.”

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t know why you’re helping me.” he says clearly, looking directly into Castiel’s face as he adds, “Seriously- it doesn’t make sense to me.”

 

Castiel tries to piece what Dean is saying together, it doesn’t click, “Dean, I’m not following.”

 

The omega sighs, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes, “Cas- why out of all the billions of people on this world- are you helping me? An omega no less? Seriously? I understand it’s in your nature as an alpha to try and find an omega and do whatever to get them to submit to you- but I just don’t get it. Why me? Out of all the omegas you could have?”

 

“Dean-”

 

“I have to sleep with strangers for fuck’s sake!” Dean throws his arms up into the air, “I don’t get it- it’s irrational and weird, and terrifying all at the same time! I have two brothers who are basically like my kids, I’ve got barely any money to my name, I’ve got fucking spaghetti stains on my shirt for crying the fuck out loud- and you’re still okay with this? With helping me? When you have much younger and prettier omegas who can make you happier than I ever could?”

 

Castiel blinks, looking at Dean in confusion, “What are you saying?”

 

Dean bites his lip, worrying at the flesh before he replies, “I just- why, Cas? There’s nothing really in this for you to gain- there’s nothing you can take and walk away with from this. I don’t have anything. I have nothing. I can’t give you things, I can’t give you money- the only possible thing I could try to bestow upon your ‘saintness’ is my body- and my body really isn’t worth that much.”

 

“That’s degrading, Dean- stop-”

 

“ _Of course_ it’s degrading! … But it’s the truth, Cas.” he looks away, glancing back at the traffic passing by with dampening eyes, “I’ve been with so many alphas that I’ve honestly lost count by now. I’ve forgotten how many of them have touched my skin, or exactly what they’ve done to it- but I know that I did it for money and the number of alphas I’ve serviced is probably a large one. That doesn’t make me very special, does it?”

 

Castiel shakes his head, watching as Dean closes his arms around himself again like a coping mechanism, but tighter this time, “Dean- that’s not true. You did those things so you could support your brothers because no one else was willing to- you’ve given up so much. The reason why you think you don’t have anything is the fact you’ve never let yourself do that. You always gave whatever to someone when you thought they needed it more, or your brothers because you wanted them to have a good life. Being generous doesn’t make you worthless, Dean.”

 

Dean just looks away, “You gotta stop sayin’ things like that, Cas.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you’re makin’ me feel like I’m a saint myself.”

 

Castiel smiles solemnly, seeing the tears tracking down the expanse of Dean’s cheeks, “That’s because you are, Dean. From everything I’ve seen you do, that you’ve done, I’d say you are something as close to a saint as someone can become.”

 

Dean gives a laugh mixed with a sob before he wipes away the tears, “Thanks, Cas.”

 

“You’re welcome, Dean.” he opens the passenger door to his car, “Now, would you like to go home?”

 

Dean nods, smiling with a reddened face, “Yeah- I would like that.”

 

**__________**

 

Dean feels a little better as they arrive back to his apartment. Sammy and Adam are still asleep soundly, Charlie grinning as she pulls back the door.

 

“Glad to know that whatever went wrong got sorted out.”

 

The omega just shrugs, “Yeah- I am too.”

 

Cas walks into the room, checking on Dean’s younger brothers before going into the kitchen and starting up something to eat. The omega feels a little more at ease now with Cas offering to lend a hand. Now he can finally talk to Charlie.

 

“So-” she asks, dragging him out into the hallway slightly, “you get the job?”

 

“I did.” he smiles, “Bobby was more than willing. Hey- he’s coming over later. You wouldn’t care if we had a barbeque grill out, would you?”

 

Her jaw nearly breaks with how fast she gapes, “Of course I would! I’ve got steaks that need to be done- and the weather’s so nice- Dean that’s perfect!”

 

Dean chuckles at her, “I know it is.”

 

They come back into the room, Cas already putting a few sandwiches out onto the counter for them to eat. Dean and Charlie grab one, taking a bite and enjoying the small snack in a quite hectic day.

 

“Hey Cas-” Dean says while chewing, “my friend Bobby is coming over later, and Charlie agreed that a cookout would be a good idea. Do you think so?”

 

Cas pauses to swallow, and then nods, “It does sound quite enjoyable. It’s been quite some time since I’ve had a burger or steak worth talking about. If you want- I can do the grilling.”

 

Dean stops chewing, “Cas- are you God?”

 

They all laugh at the same time.

 

“Hey, you and Cas go to the store and I’ll keep the fort safe from enemies, alright?” Charlie sets her plate in the sink and goes over to pick Adam up off of the floor, “Don’t be too long though- I’m sure they’ll be begging for some food soon enough.”

 

Dean nods, “Alright- we’ll be back as fast as we can.”

 

**__________**

 

“Okay, let’s see here…” Dean mumbles, looking at some packaged meat, “This one is four dollars and fifty cents, so if I use this coupon it should be around three instead…”

 

Cas grabs the organic lean meat and places it inside of the buggy, causing Dean to raise an eyebrow at him as though it were obvious.

 

“Cas, we can’t afford that-”

 

The alpha places his hand up, making Dean pause, “It’s no need, Dean. I’ll buy the groceries for this. I don’t mind.”

 

Dean feels more guilt saddle his shoulders, “But Cas- there’s no fucking way I can give you anything in return for this…”

 

“No, there is something.” he smiles, “I want you to tell me what you think about it when you take your first bite. That’s it.”

 

“That’s it?” Dean bleats.

 

Cas nods, grabbing some more items and placing them in the cart, “It is. No need to worry or think I’m joking. All I want is your opinion of the finished product.”

 

The omega can’t help but feel duped, “Cas- you’re sitting here buyin’ all of this name brand or organic food, and it’s going to cost a fortune already, but then you’re also cooking all of it. How can I feel like I’m giving you equal repayment?”

 

“In the technical terms, I am losing more than I am gaining- that is true. But, it is a fact I am willing to ignore because you’ve done that too much yourself, Dean. It’s high time that someone did the same for you.”

 

Dean doesn’t know what to say, and he finds that he can’t argue even as they’re leaving the checkout.

 

**__________**

 

All of them are outside at the moment. Sammy is chasing Adam and Charlie is watching them as she snacks from a picnic table. Bobby is helping Cas start up the grill while Dean watches them all. It’s nice, getting to sit back. It’s been so long that he’s been able to just log off his brain and plug into some down time.

 

There’s a slight breeze, cool and light against his skin. The sun is shining warmly down on them and the birds chirp as though they’d burst if they didn’t break into song. Dean takes a deep breath, letting the air sit in his lungs for a moment before he joins Charlie at the table.

 

“So, you and Cas, huh?”

 

Dean looks over to her, brows furrowed, “What?”

 

She smiles, the sun making her hair look as though it were neon, “You and Cas- you guys together now?”

 

“Oh no-” Dean blurts, feeling out of place already as he holds his hands up in physical defense, “we’re not! We met yesterday, Charlie. He’s just a friend.”

 

“Really now? Last time I checked, friends don’t buy each other a whole buffet worth of groceries and then cook it for them. Dean, he’s been in your life for only a day or so and you’ve already let him in a whole bunch of ways I’ve never seen you do with anyone else. You’re gonna tell me with a straight face that’s not important?”

 

Dean looks away, watching Sammy tackle Adam to the ground a few feet away, giggles ringing in the air as Bobby calls the grill an ‘idjit’, “It’s not that, Charlie- you’re just gettin’ this all wrong. Me and Cas, we’re just friends, okay? He worries about me because the reason we met was over what I do.”

 

Charlie sips at her lemonade, “What happened with that? I wanna know how the lovebirds met.”

 

“We’re not-” Dean sighs, just going on with the story, “I had a client and they didn’t wanna pay up. Cas heard us arguing and knocked on my door. It was awkward, yeah- but he was still polite. For a second I thought I was screwed because he saw Sammy and Adam’s toys in the living room and he was going to turn me in, but after finding out that I was doing it for them… he said he’d help me.”

 

“Sounds like a knight in shining armor.”

 

Dean snorts, “Yeah- if those even exist. Charlie, he just worries about me, okay? About Sammy and Adam- all of us. It’s not just pertained to me.”

 

“Mhmm, and that’s why he’s been giving so much to you in under forty-eight hours, right?”

 

The omega feels his past guilts build, “Look, I feel like shit over that already without you makin’ it sound like I’m some gold-digger or somethin’. I refuse at first, but he just gives it to me anyways. I don’t know how in the fuck I can pay him back…”

 

“Lemme guess- you already offered sex?”

 

“No!” Dean shakes his head, “When he found out that I was selling myself with Sammy and Adam under my roof, I thought he was going to blackmail me into somethin’ like that- but he didn’t. He doesn’t want sex, Charlie. He made that clear from the get go.”

 

She grins, “Quite the gentleman… you plan on keeping him?”

 

Dean blinks at the beta, heart quickening, “Charlie, what are you saying?”

 

“I’m sayin’ that you should keep him in your life, Dean.” she ushers around them, showing Dean all the food getting prepared and already laid out in front of them, Sammy and Adam the happiest Dean has ever seen them in a while, “All of this- this was Cas. He paid for it, he’s fixing it up. Dean, he’s giving you a stability you haven’t had in a long time. He’s willing to fork out whatever needs to be given because you or your brothers need it. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he bought you a car because yours broke down on you for good this time.”

 

The omega looks down at his lap, twiddling his fingers, “I know- I know- he would if he had to… I just- I don’t like it, okay? I feel like I’m using him. There’s nothing he can gain from this, Charlie. I don’t have anything to give anymore.”

 

“Are you sure that’s true?” she asks, “Last time I checked, you have something called a heart, and no one else has the right of holding it other than you right now.”

 

“So you’re sayin’ that I can pay him back with an organ, Charlie? I don’t think Cas works for the black market-”

 

Charlie laughs at him, playfully slapping his arm, “Not like that, you doofus. You can give him love, stupid.”

 

Dean says nothing.

 

“Look- you’ve done so much for others that you barely ever give yourself any credit.” she begins, looking off towards Sammy and Adam, Dean still stares at her, “You’ve worked your meat to the bone, you’ve sweat out so many tough situations that hell- I would’ve given up at that point if I were you. But thing is- you didn’t. You pushed through those things and overcame them, Dean. You always gave up so much so others could have anything they wanted or needed. Yet, when it came to you- the courtesy never came. This is what I’m trying to tell you, Dean. For the first time, someone is willing to give that to you- is willing to give you anything you want. No sex or money required. There is one reason why you’re just out of your depth here.”

 

The omega swallows, voice unsteady, “A-And what’s that? …”

 

“Someone is willing to earn your love-” she gets up, looking over her shoulder and smiling, “rather than pay for it.”

 

Dean is, yet again, left speechless.

 

**__________**

 

“How is the burger, Dean?” Cas asks, serving Dean one of the first ones ready off of the grill.

 

Dean stares at it for a moment, knowing that if he were cooking that he’d serve himself last to make sure everyone else got enough to eat. The meat stares back at him much like the hundred dollar bill still placed in Dean’s wallet; untouched but not forgotten.

 

Dean takes a bite, nearly making a noise at the taste, “Cas- are you some professional meat perfectionist?”

 

“My mother did pay a five star chef to teach me some cooking methods for a few years. I’m glad to know her investment paid off.”

 

Dean holds the burger close to his chest, a smile brimming over his lips, “It’s amazing, Cas- thanks…”

 

“I’m happy to know you enjoyed it.” the alpha goes back to flipping some burgers, “You can go ahead and finish it while I get the rest ready.”

 

Dean is about to walk back to the picnic table when Bobby whistles for him to come over. Dean finds him next to the swingset a few feet away, helping Adam fly back and forth with a huge grin on his little face. The omega walks over, slightly chewing as he reaches the aged man. Adam hugs Dean quickly, wrapping his arms around his legs and then running off to join Sammy and Charlie with whatever they’re doing.

 

“Hey, boy.” Bobby smiles, noticing the burger in his hands, “I see you got the work of art already.”

 

Dean raises a brow, “Nice title- it fits though. Bobby, this has got to be the best burger ever.”

 

Bobby laughs, “I’m not surprised, that kid worked hard on your patty alone.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“He was slavin’ over it for the longest time to make sure it was perfect for you. Any burger he thought you’d eat- he did his magic on. He’s dedicated to you, son.”

 

Dean blushes, sitting down on the swing and taking a small bite, “Yeah- that’s what everyone’s tellin’ me…”

 

Bobby chuckles, resting against the pole beside the omega, arms crossed, “You know- I thought you were jokin’ when you said that Cas over there was a good guy… but you weren’t. He’s a good kid, Dean. Stick with him.”

 

“We’re not together-”

 

“Would it hurt anythin’ if you were?” Bobby comments, snickering, “I swear, you’re about as stubborn to the end… I’ve had a little idea in my head, Dean. If you died, I think you wouldn’t even have a funeral because you wouldn’t want people to pay for you and then because you don’t wanna give them the pain.”

 

Dean laughs at Bobby, “You tryin’ to call me cheap and dramatic?”

 

“Nah, not that-” the beta can’t help but grin, “I’m sayin’ even if you were dead, you still wouldn’t want to bother people. Like I said- stubborn to the end.”

 

“Sounds like me.”

 

Bobby nods, “My point. So that’s what I’m tryin’ to say, Dean. Keep Cas around. He’s good for Adam and Sammy, but especially you.”

 

Dean takes another bite of the small heaven, “But-”

 

“No melodramatic bull, okay?” Bobby pats him on the shoulder, “You’ve suffered enough, now it’s time to get to lay back and enjoy the ride for once.”

 

Dean just swallows, using his feet to push himself back and forth a few inches as Bobby walks off to help Cas with grilling.

 

Dean looks over to watch Sammy and Adam. They’re grinning from ear to ear as they bounce along, Charlie chasing them with arms outstretched to capture. Sammy sees him watching and waves, but it serves as a distraction as Charlie snags him in her grip. Dean laughs, Adam running over and smiling.

 

“Dean!” he yells, little feet pounding on the grass, “Can I sit in your lap?”

 

“Sure kiddo!” he finishes the burger with a small grin, wiping his hands before grabbing his youngest brother to sit in his lap, “What’s up little dude?”

 

Adam is breathing heavily, his happiness pure and unfiltered, “Charlie was chasing us and I didn’t want to get caught so I came over to you and sat on your lap because you’re a safe zone!”

 

Dean laughs, “A safe zone, eh?”

 

Adam looks over his shoulder and nods, “Mhmm! Charlie can’t get me now! Hey, Dean- can Cassie play later?”

 

“If he wants to, then yeah.”

 

“Good! I like Cassie. He’s nice.” Adam waves to the alpha, Cas grinning stupidly and waving back while tending the grill, “See!”

 

Dean laughs, pressing a chaste kiss on the top of Adam’s soft, blonde hair, “I know- he’s like our knight in shining armor.”

 

“I always wanted to be a knight-” Adam comments, Dean pushing forward and back on his feet to make them move slightly in the swing, “do you think Cassie will teach me?”

 

“Sure, though you’d have to ask.”

 

Adam nods, “I’m make sure that I do. Dean- can Cassie also stay with us?”

 

Dean looks over to Cas, seeing that the alpha hasn’t looked away. His blue eyes are warm even from a distance, softened on Dean with his teeth showing from an honest-to-God happy, goofy grin. It makes Dean’s heart flutter, almost stuttering as he replies.

 

“From what everyone’s been tellin’ me…” he says quietly, “I’ll try to make sure he does.”

 

Lord help him so he knows how.

 

**__________**

 

Dean sits at one of the ends on the picnic table, food laid out before him. Some of it is still steaming hot as his younger brothers fidget in their seats, Charlie and Bobby looking pleased as Cas proudly watches on. His eyes land on Dean as he reaches over to make another burger, his face doing that stupid cotton-consistency thing on Dean, eyes looking as though they’d been washed with fabric softener.

 

Dean blushes, looking away awkwardly while he eats another burger and finds that soon everyone is full and pleased. The sun is setting now, the air starting to cool slightly as Dean stretches on the bench. He’s almost purring.

 

Sammy and Adam however, are not in the ‘I’m-so-full-I-have-to-sleep-now’ mode as they’re back to running around and playing. Dean grins at them, finding someone join his side with a clearing of a thoat. Dean finds Cas beside him, Charlie and Bobby having already started cleaning up the mess as the omega stares at the alpha.

 

“Did you enjoy the food?” Cas questions, looking at Dean from the corner of his eye.

 

“I did.”

 

Cas nods slightly, “Good. Seems like they’re having a good time.”

 

Dean laughs quietly, “Yeah- they never really stop playin’ or bein’ kids.”

 

“They have you to thank for that.” Cas comments, Dean looking over to him as he chuckles, “They have a lot to be grateful for because of you.”

 

Dean looks down towards his feet, “Well, I wanted them to have a lot- more than I ever did…”

 

Cas wraps an arm around Dean’s waist, the omega nearly breathing wrong as Cas pulls him to his side. Cas’ body is warm through his light clothing, lean and comforting against Dean’s side. The omega tries to swallow as Cas laughs.

 

“I think it’s time that you got something just for you, Dean.”

 

Then, next thing Dean knows, Cas is gone and running over to Adam and Sammy as he begins to play with them.

 

_Yeah-_ Dean thinks, _something of my own…_

 

 

 


	3. I Don't Care Too Much For Money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay- another installment to this ever growing story. Sheesh.
> 
> There's a little more real-life scenarios in this ch., and you'll see yet again how much Cas already cares.
> 
> For right meow, I won't update until I get onto spring break- it's just too much on me while in school this week to update again even if I want to. I'm really tired and all of that, so keep in mind that, while I do care for this a whole lot, my well being comes first.  
> So, it may be a few more days?
> 
> Sorry...
> 
> Anyways:  
> Enjoy!~

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
****

Dean is at his first day at Bobby’s garage when something happens.

It was to be expected, but Dean hoped that it would have been a little longer before it occurred.

His POS car finally kicked the mechanical bucket. That means he’s got to find another set of wheels soon and that just irritates him. He used to have the perfect ride when he was sixteen- all sleek black and metallic muscle- but it was sold off for money to send Sammy and Adam to school a while back. He’s been stuck with his sinking landboat ever since. Well, until now.

He’s a little irritable around lunch time, being a little snappy towards Bobby’s slow, ancient computer. He may have to convince the man to upgrade, and the thought of doing that makes Dean uncomfortable. He doesn’t like the thought, even if it does pertain to Bobby’s shop, of convincing him to buy something new and expensive because he’s growing impatient with blue crash screens and lagging mouses. Sometimes, that's what life makes you deal with.

Dean Winchester is a coping man.

He is, however, about to throw the monitor out of the window when a familiar throat clears itself.

“Oh shit-” Dean nearly drops the mouse over the edge of the counter, fumbling while shooting a glance towards the alpha in front of him, “Cas you fucking scared me.”

The alpha chuckles at him while blush rushes to his cheeks, “When’s your lunch break?”

“In about five minutes… Why?”

“I was thinking about taking you somewhere…” he comments off to the side, but looks up a second in with sincerity, “That, and I heard you car this morning and knew by the shrieking of mechanical gears that something was obviously wrong with it.”

Dean looks away again, “Yeah- there was… It completely died on me in the parking lot before I could shift it into park. I put the emergency brake on just in case, but I’m probably going to have to get it towed and find a new car…”

Cas tilts his head, his eyes narrowing slightly, “You need a car?”

“Oh, Cas- if there’s one thing I can’t ever pay you back on it’s a fucking car.” Dean grimaces, thinking about all of those number places and commas, “I already owe you enough as is, adding a car onto my debt isn’t something I’d like…”

“Dean, you need a car- it would be simple to just get you one. Or, I could lend you mine while you figure something out.”

Dean nods, “That’ll be a better arrangement. Thanks, Cas.”

“You’re welcome, Dean.” he comes around the counter, grabbing Dean from behind and pushing him towards the door, “But I think now you should be more focused on where we’re eating.”

Dean laughs despite his stresses, stumbling a little at Cas’ hands on the small of his back, “Alright, you knucklehead.”

They get into Cas’ Toyota, the alpha getting onto the main road before looking towards Dean, “Where am I taking you?”

Dean looks towards the dashboard, “I don’t really care much. You could take me to a drive-thru and I’d be peachy, Cas.”

“I think I have an idea as to what to eat.”

Dean thinks that maybe he did something wrong in letting Cas pick.

__________

It seems as though Dean had the right to be suspicious, considering now Cas’ little tan Toyota was pulling up to a very famous restaurant here called, Feu.

It was known for having some outrageous displays with flames that would make even pyromaniacs nervous. Castiel grins as he sees Dean’s mouth agape, parking his car and turning off the engine.

“Is my choice a supported one?”

“I- uh-” Dean stutters, having trouble with even thinking about eating here, “I didn’t think you were going to literally treat me out here, Cas. Jesus- you have to have reservations for over a month to this place-”

Cas chuckles at him, “Or just a few names that you know who work here.”

Dean looks over, his eyes wide, “Don’t tell me you bribed them to get me in there.”

“I didn’t do that per say, but I did tell them I would like to bring you to meet them.”

“I’m so not ready to meet the president.”

The alpha laughs at him, “I am pleased you think I have such high affiliations, but no- it is not the president.”

Dean grunts offhandedly, looking towards the double doors in front of him. Cas gets out of the car, even goes as far as opening Dean’s door for him while he’s paralyzed in fear. The alpha just chuckles at his nervousness, pulling back the door so the omega can come first into the building.

Dean feels flattered and terrified at the exact same time.

“Castiel!” a voice calls from over to the side, Dean looking over to find some man waving towards them, “I’m so glad you could make it!”

There’s an aged man standing next to some divider, his white chef clothes stark against the darkly stained and finished wood. His grin is lopsided into a smirk, matching the one on Castiel’s face as they hug quickly. Dean just stands there awkwardly as Chuck gives the alpha a pat on the back, sentimental fingertips gripping his shoulder like a father would his son after he did something to be proud of.

Dean feels weird in his own skin as Castiel smiles politely, “Hello, Chuck. I’ve been meaning to make it down here, just never had the time.”

“Oh, really?” he raises an eyebrow, “You must be Dean, the real reason Castiel got his ass in gear.”

The alpha laughs at him, Dean nodding, “Oh- yeah. Sorry if I’m a little nervous, I just- I’ve never been to a place as fancy as this…”

“A first timer, eh?”

“I could never afford to come here, even in my dreams- so yeah.” Dean laughs a little tightly, finding his mind aware of any minor flaw on his person.

Chuck grins even wider, “Castiel has said a lot about you. It seems he wasn’t lying when he said you were tough when it came to accepting gifts such as this.”

Dean can’t find it within himself to argue when he knows it true.

“Well, I am glad to serve you both today. Come, I saved you guys the best spot in the whole restaurant.”

Chuck leads them back into a separate part of the restaurant, most of the people thinning out. The clinking of silverware and mindless chatter are muffled by walls and distance, Dean finding that the section is all to themselves with a bit of surprise.

One wall has a large fish tank, spread out horizontally like a slab of ocean was just taken and placed among the plaster. Fish swim idly along sponges and arrangements of brightly colored corals, bubbles springing up and floating towards the surface like drifters. The wall that the table is placed against is lined with large windows, showing the expanse of a small garden outside used for growing some of the restaurants produce and vegetables, and a small pond where koi fish seem to slink through the liquid like snakes on grass.

“This is so different compared to McDonalds.”

The comment makes Cas laugh, a little loud for the quiet theme of their space, but it makes Dean grin like an idiot either way, “It certainly is… Are you okay with that?”

“Of course!” Dean blurts, feeling blush and heat form on his cheeks from his outburst, “Yeah uh, it’s okay, Cas. I’m not complaining… just a little surprised.”

Cas grins at him, Dean finding that a waiter is coming back with a candle, "I thought you would be. Chuck wanted me to come for some time and eat, I thought you'd like to have lunch here."

"How do you know Chuck?" Dean asks, twirling his fingers together to keep some part of himself occupied.

"He was the one who trained me in the kitchen when I was little." Cas says as the waiter sets bread loafs in front of them, "He wanted to meet you and I thought this was a nice way for all of us."

Dean picks up a roll and twiddles it around his hands, ripping a small piece off, "Are you sure this is okay? ... Bringing me here out of nowhere?"

"Of course it is." Cas takes a roll for himself, "You deserve a nice lunch for once, more than just something in a drive-thru."

"Thanks Cas, but I would've been okay with just that."

The alpha chuckles at him, swallowing his bit of bread, "I know you would've, which is why I surprised you with this."

Dean is about to tell Cas for the thousandth time that he didn't have to do that when Chuck appears again, looking at Dean knowingly from the corner of his eye.

"What would the guest of honor like to eat?"

Dean stumbles to get the menu, stuttering as he opens it, "I, uh- you guys have steak?"

"We do. How do you want it cooked?"

Dean blurts, "Well done."

He takes Cas' order down and nods, turning away to go fix them as the omega finds Cas watching him closely. His blue eyes are softened on him at the moment, roll left forgotten on the small dish placed in front of him. Dean clears his throat awkwardly, drinking some of his water before returning his attention to the alpha.

"So..." Dean looks towards the table, eyes following the grain, "How are Sammy and Adam?"

"They're doing fine. Sam asked if I could help him with some work while Adam requested I give him piggyback rides."

Dean chuckles, grinning as his finger moves the straw around the rim of his glass, "Yeah, they do that. Adam will jump you when you're not expecting it. Sammy used to, but since he's about to turn seven, he thinks he's too old or that now."

“Well, if he ever asks, I won’t hesitate.” Cas grins, finally giving his bread some attention.

Dean looks around, taking in the nice ambience of the room they are in as Cas nibbles away at his bread. The omega feels slightly out of depth here, considering he’s never thought of coming to such a fancy, expensive place like this. Cas just watches Dean get settled, or his attempts at doing so, from his seat with a lopsided smile.

“Dean.”

The omega looks up, blinking for a second like a deer in headlights, “Yeah?”

“You seem to be… off.”

He sighs, Cas waiting on him to reply, “It’s just- I’ve never been to a place like this before… It’s like bringing a peasant into the castle and not expecting them to freak out.”

The alpha stares at him, “You aren’t a peasant, Dean.”

“No, I guess not, but it still fits. I’m not really the classy type.” he looks away, his foot shaking against the plush carpeting with a little bit of anstyness, “I’m more so of the have-to-eat-at-home person.”

Cas nods knowingly, “I would suppose given your circumstances. It’s one reason I brought you here.”

“There’s more than one?”

“I thought you deserved a treat-” he admits, sipping at his water, “and this place seemed reasonable to come to for one.”

Dean finds his cheeks heating again, for the fact that Cas has to be a god damn sweetheart to him when he doesn’t deserve a bit of it, “Thanks, Cas… I appreciate it.”

The omega finds those blue irises again from across the table, except this time- they’ve got something underneath them. Not softness like before, but something akin to the glowing hot ember of a fire. It’s there, waiting for something to catch on so it can engulf it in flames. Dean just doesn’t have a clue as to what Cas is thinking about as that little spark flares in his eyes. He swallows, looking down again to remain unknown to the possible blaze those irises want to cause, but ineffective in the heat they bring to Dean’s skin as he shuffles a little in his seat.

“It’s my pleasure, Dean.” his voice is low, on the edge of something Dean doesn’t quite know yet, and the fear of falling over when he doesn’t know what’s there causes him to find his heart hammering in his chest as he stares at the table.

It’s then, of course, that Chuck brings them their food.

It looks absolutely perfect, as if they’d taken an already photoshopped picture of a meal and slapped it on a plate just for their enjoyment. Dean finds his mouth watering, already grabbing for the fork and knife as Cas just chuckles at him.

Chuck stands by as Dean tastes the steak for the first time, and instantly he is blown away by the sensations within his mouth from taste alone, “Holy shit-”

He’s cut off by chuckles from both of the men, deep and hearty as he just goes for it at his food- too happy with it to care about looking decent as he rips off pieces to set the rumbling in his stomach at ease.

Cas laughs at him while nibbling on his food, seemingly too entranced with Dean eating like a pig to care much about his own palate, “You seem to be enjoying yourself.”

“I, uh-” Dean cleans himself up half hazardly with his napkin lying nearby, his cheeks burning as he clears his throat and swallows some precious steak, “it’s really good… I’m not used to having stuff like this…”

“You’re indulging.”

Dean blinks at the alpha, mouth working for a moment to say something in English, “I guess I am…”

“That’s a good thing, Dean.” Cas assures, grinning from ear to ear, sapphire eyes twinkling again, “It’s not a sin for you to actually enjoy something nice for once.”

Dean nods, absently looking at his plate again. It’s halfway gone already, and a part of Dean regrets that the amount is so small.

He just forces himself to eat slowly with a fork, trying not to seem too greedy while he finishes his plate like anyone else would.

__________

Castiel drops Dean off at Bobby’s garage again.

The omega is quiet, looking away towards the dashboard. He’s been averting his eyes since he finished his plate a long time ago, and the alpha finds it a little strange. Dean is a very straight-forward person in his own right, nothing such as being hungry should cause him to be embarrassed like this. However, Castiel believes there is an underlying reason as to why the omega is avoiding his eyes at the moment for the tanned facade leather.

“Thanks for the ride and food, Cas…” Dean says off to the side, starting to step out of the car, “I’ll take the bus home tonight, so don’t worry about picking me up when I get off.”

Castiel wants to argue and counter that it would be cheaper and easier if he just came over to get Dean, to bring him home just like he wanted to, but there’s something underneath Dean’s words that makes him agree.

“Okay.” he states simply.

Dean nods once, like maybe he’s going to add something else before he just walks inside, sending a small wave towards Castiel as he returns to work. The alpha sits in his car for a moment, looking over to the vehicle that had failed Dean Winchester just like life had.

His fingers grip the wheel a little tighter at the thought, knowing that it’s just another stress Dean doesn’t need right now. In fact, Dean doesn’t deserve any more for the rest of his years for all the bullshit he’s been forced through. It makes Castiel furious with fate and chance, that they’d let something like this happen over and over again to someone who didn’t deserve it. The alpha decides something inside of his mind- even though Dean said not to do it.

He’s going to get him a car.

With a quick call to Bobby’s cell (thankfully given to him when they grilled out yesterday), he has the wheels for his plan set into motion.

__________

Dean knows he shouldn’t be doing this- even if Cas wasn’t here in his life now- but he has no choice.

No car equals no transportation. No transportation equals paying for the bus. He’s practically broke, and paying for bus tickets are out of his financial league by this point. Being broke equals one thing.

Dean’s getting a client.

He didn’t want Cas to know, and he’s ashamed he’s lying to him again and he’s sort of going behind his back. That now there’s a reason for him not to do this anymore. It’s just not that simple.

Dean’s tired of taking so much from Cas and giving him nothing in return. Well, nothing of value in that sense. He doesn’t think he can take anymore charity from the alpha without exploding into guilty flames. Getting a few alphas to cough up some sex-earned-dough would be able to pay back some of the mounting debt he has to the man. That, and the fact Dean really has to work his ass off (literally) to afford a car payment.

Life’s a fucking bitch.

Dean goes into one of the common alleyways for this sort of exchange. Ones that are always dark and creepy, that make his skin crawl and make him crave a shower with just thinking about its grime filled corners and crannies.

“Lookin’ for someone?”

Dean looks up from his chest, seeing an alpha standing in front of him. He’s got a suit on- fresh looking and tailored to fit him exactly. Dean blinks because it’s not a common thing to have a business man of this caliber prowling his usual spots.

“Depends on who’s there…” he replies quietly, eyeing the dude for any weapons or possible places to hide drugs- the usual sweep.

“I might be the man.” he grins, teeth white and professionally finished, like a glaze of innocence just on his canines that are glinting towards Dean at the moment, “You interested?”

Dean tilts his head to the side, serious, “Can you pay for me to be interested?”

“Certainly.” he supplies, forking over several hundred dollars, and just by looking at it- it seems to be at least five-hundred dollars.

Dean freezes.

“There are some terms I’d like to put out in the contract.”

“Contract?”

The man laughs, but it’s all that posh ring and faked enthusiasm you hear from a salesmen when discussing their product, “Money like this- it isn’t just for some random fuck. You see, I plan to hire you on as an… aid, so to speak.”

Dean blinks.

“I need an omega who’s willing to be devoted towards what he’s doing- and from what I’ve heard about you, Dean-” the omega nearly swallows wrong from the man’s knowledge of his person, “I understand your motives lie close to your heart. Here’s the deal, I give you about a thousand a week, you come over when I call- usually around when you get off work- and you’ll show. I may make some exceptions to being absent when requested, but don’t do it often.”

The omega gawks at him, “So I’m like a hooker on hold.”

The man makes a face, “With a rough description, yes.”

“What do I have to do?”

“Just come to my apartment and do as I ask. Don’t worry about STD’s or STI’s, I’m clean- and I know you run a fairly tight system when it comes to what alphas you service.” he hands over a slip of paper, “You can see from right there I’m clean.”

It’s date was yesterday, and Dean nods, “Alright- believable enough.”

“There is no wish for pregnancy- but there is something I’d like to do… once you’re up to it.”

Dean looks towards his shoes, noticing the holes and worn spots in them, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

“You’re in?”

For a thousand a week? You didn’t even have to ask.

__________

Dean doesn’t feel as dirty as beforehand.

This guy is clean and proper for hiring him as a prolonged omega-in-waiting type thing. Dean’s usually only allowed one night stands, but with a check this big, Dean makes an exception.

“It’s not too over the top, but it’s nice enough. My bedroom’s down the hall a little ways.” he says, dropping his keys onto the counter, “What medications do you take?”

“Birth control and suppressants.”

The man nods, “If you want, you can stop the suppressants but keep the birth control. I have no wish for pups anytime soon- but heat sex is always welcome.”

Dean just dismisses the words. He needs the money, that’s it.

“Do you mind if we begin tonight?”

Dean shakes his head, the faster he gets the money, the better, “Not at all.”

The alpha comes over, pulling Dean up onto the island in his kitchen, fingers looping over his belt, “My name’s Michael.”

Dean nods, feeling the familiar sensation of tongue on his throat, of exploring fingers. It’s something he’s gotten used to while he’s put himself on the streets. The touches of strangers used to bother him- and now- he doesn’t care if they hump him through a wall.

The alpha purrs at his neck, apparently finding something he was looking for, “I wanted a stay in omega…” he laps at the skin, “One I’d be able to come home to and find there’s no commitment.”

“Couldn’t you just get a friend with benefits?”

Michael laughs softly, air puffing on Dean’s skin, “It’s not that simple. Most of my friends are alphas, and even then my relationships with them could never be like this. It’s business over there in that world. Here- it’s something a little different. Something you can’t just find in any corporate office.”

Dean’s about to ask what he means by that- because he knows office sex is a thing- when Michael moves for the fly of his jeans. The omega’s mind goes a little blank at that, it always has, and he finds himself going into autopilot while he tries to think straight. It’s like watching a movie from a distance, one in first-person with his body. He can see his fingers and hands moving, the film seeing and interacting with the world as he does, and he feels as though he was sitting a few feet back with his eyes on a screen. He couldn’t do anything but watch as the events unfolded before him- just like any audience would.

Except, it’s his life he’s watching on that screen.

He gets a little melancholy in his head, finding Michael’s tongue working at his collarbone. There’s no flare of arousal like he’s supposed to make, there’s no moaning this time. It’s like everything he ever faked just couldn’t come to the surface- like the director wouldn’t let his prize actor do what he knows best. It leaves him fumbling and making mistakes left and right.

Michael notices.

“Is there something wrong?” he asks, brows knitted together in confusion, “This isn’t bothering you, is it?”

Money- remember the money- “No, I’m just out of it today…”

In those moments of fear, the fear of losing this opportunity, Dean finds his brain logging back on a bit. It’s like after a major software crash, and it reboots slowly- things coming back only one at a time. Dean finds his usual tricks setting in by the time Michael’s picked him up and brought him to his mattress. The omega’s back meets the sheets, Michael looming over him.

But- it doesn’t feel right. It never has.

None of his clients have ever made him feel like he was soaring in the clouds, none of them ever made him feel like he was nothing like a quick fuck. None of them cared. They paid what they had to, did what they wanted and came for, and then left. Not another word, not even a goodbye. Sometimes they’d praise Dean for being good, but usually that took facetime and effort, and not many were willing to give it. They had their rat holes to slink back into, and remaining out in the light for all to see would let the cat out of the bag.

Michael moves against him, Dean feeling as though he was just a live sex doll as the bed creaked beneath him. Rocking back and forth, back and forth- like the waves on the beach. Rolling over and over in one continuous motion, a loop. His hands are on Michael’s back, near his shoulders, his face unseen as Michael presses against his neck. Dean just stares at the ceiling, thinking- mind wandering.

He thinks about Sammy and Adam, and what they would do if they ever found out about this. He thinks about Charlie and Bobby, and whether or not they would be angry at him for getting another client, how disappointed they’d be. They’d yell at him that he doesn’t have a reason to do it now, that he has someone willing to take care of all of his problems.

Dean thinks about Cas.

He thinks about those eyes and that spark, of his voice and his ruffled sex hair. He thinks about his accountant get up, how he always is so polite and formal. He thinks about how much he’s done for him in the past three days, how he was the first alpha who refused sex from him because they respected him. The first to talk to him, the first to ask if he was okay. The first to make sure he was okay.

Dean gasps from the sudden wave that hits him, Michael enjoying it because he thinks it’s him causing it- when it’s not.

It’s over a certain blue-eyed alpha that Dean doesn’t deserve. Not in the slightest.

The omega breathes out, body heating like an oven- finally reaching its goal after some prep time. His skin is slick with sweat and his muscles twitch. It’s honestly the best reaction he’s ever had during sex, and Dean finds himself a little surprised towards that fact.

"You're quite responsive." he comments idly, his thrusts pushing Dean further up the mattress, "I thought you were supposed to be an actor in the sheets."

"I am supposed to be-" Dean rushes a breath out, "I was just thinking..."

Michael chuckles, "About what?"

The omega gasps a little before continuing, "Someone I know..."

"Does he mean a lot to you?" Michael asks, his body still working against Dean's own.

"I guess he does- I haven't known him for long."

Michael nods, his hips jutting and mouth still near Dean's throat, "Wanna talk about it?"

Dean can't help but laugh, "But we're having sex, don't you think-" he makes a noise in his throat, "that it's a little awkward to talk about other people?"

"Not necessarily..." Michael murmurs, kissing Dean's skin chastely, "This arrangement we have, it's very loose and friendly. I don't want you to be uncomfortable while you're here, so if you need to get something off your chest you can."

Dean grins, "You're probably the nicest guy I've had for this kind of stuff."

"I try." He shrugs above Dean, "So is it okay with you?"

"I guess it is..."

Michael breathes out to him for a second, his body still moving, "Who are they?"

"A friend." Dean says like its nothing, though he knows it isn't, "I've only known him for three days."

"A friend? Doesn't sound like that at all."

Dean nods, though he throws his head back, "I know it doesn't- I guess it's not... He cares about me a lot, and I don't think he'd be happy if he finds out what I'm doing."

Michael nods, "So this guy, he knows what you do?"

"Yes." Dean had to bite back a moan at the thought of Cas again, "He found out and he was helpful. He does so much for me and I just feel like a leech."

"He sounds nice, but you're not a leech, Dean." Michael assures, "Have you thought about finding some way to pay him back?"

Dean bites his lip, but it's more from the conversation than the sensations he's feeling, "I have, but I'm broke. He just gives me all of these expensive things and I feel really guilty for it... I came to you because of your offer, and I need the money so I can pay him back."

"It doesn't sound like he's in it for that." Michael takes a moment to roll his hips a certain way, making Dean squirm underneath him, "And it doesn't sound like he's in it for sex. What about something else?"

"Like what?"

Michael grins, "Love, Dean. Give him love."

The omega falters for a bit, finding his arousal snag on the word.

He hasn’t thought about love in a long time. Maybe not since middle school. When the world came bearing down on him, Dean pushed away his childish fantasies and focused on things he could make happen. Love was one of those things. He didn’t think he could ever find someone willing to put up with him, willing to be by his side. He was considered a whore in the lightest of terms, not someone you wanted to bring home to talk to your mother. Especially when his employment was prostitution.

So love was out of the cards for Dean, like the joker inside of the stack. It was worth something in certain games, but not the one Dean was playing. Not in real life. Love was a commodity, a luxury. If Dean didn’t need it- it wasn’t considered. So when someone tells him that he should pay up in something he never let himself dwell on since he was maybe thirteen or fourteen, it’s slightly ridiculous.

It doesn’t, however, stop him from thinking about it.

**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**


	4. Everybody Tells Me So

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah- I've finally updated. Hehe.  
> So spring break was really treated *as* a break, considering I did NOTHING in the writing field while I was free. It may be a bad thing for you guys, but I needed the time off desperately. 
> 
> Well, school is back, and that means writing is too.  
> So, after getting food poisoning from orange juice this morning, and getting sent home early- I present to you the newest installment of this fic.
> 
> I really enjoyed this ch and it came out better than I had hoped. Goodie.
> 
> There's a few more happenings in this ch- including a small argument between Castiel and Dean that uncovers a few things about the both of them, whether they like it or not, and more updates about Dean's arrangement with Michael.  
> -Just so you guys are informed, MICHAEL IS NOT A BAD DUDE IN THIS, I PROMISE.-
> 
> Also, don't worry about Dean getting Sammy and Adam taken away from him- that's not happening either.
> 
> So- with a few worries/fears aside, enjoy the new ch and have a nice day!~

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
Dean slides his legs over the edge of the bed. There’s a faint humming in his veins from where he and Michael had finished up their current situation. The alpha flops back onto the mattress as Dean finds his boxers laying on the floor, Michael sighing behind him.

“That was nice…” he breathes out, and Dean can see from the reflection of the mirror on his wall that he takes his hand to slick his hair back for a second, “Do you feel any better?”

It takes Dean off guard for a moment, that Michael is even asking, but he nods, “Uh- yeah. It was fun I guess. Sex has kind of lost that magical appeal to me.”

“That’s alright, it’s understandable.”

Dean stands up now, going over to his discarded jeans, “Is there anytime you want me to come back?”

This is business, Dean’s got to keep up his numbers. Even if it’s the business of sex.

“Around this time in the next day or two… Do you have a cell?”

“Yeah-” Dean pulls it out of his pocket, “I’ll add your number in there. Then you can text whenever you need me.”

Michael laughs, “You make it sound as though I own you.”

“I dunno-” Dean shrugs into the denim, looking up as the jeans hang loosely around his hip bones, “do you?”

The alpha snorts, finding the accusation funny rather than negative, “No- I don’t. You’re a very free-spirited omega, and I have no plans on changing that for my benefit. This arrangement, it isn’t going to require anything but what you usually do. This time it’s just with the same person and for more money.”

“Thank whoever for that… I need it.” Dean murmurs, “When are you going to pay me?”

Michael chuckles at the omega as he fixes his belt, looping the worn leather over the metal as he speaks, “How about Fridays?”

Dean nods, finding his shirt and pulling it over his head fluidly, “That’ll do.”

He and Michael quickly exchange information, Dean still tapping the numbers written into his phone as he walks down the steps of Michael’s apartment barefoot. His boots are in his hands, until he takes a quick second while leaning against a wall to put them on. He’s a little sore, tired- but he’s getting money.

He’s fixing things- or is at least trying to.

Dean saves Michael’s contact under a discrete title of: “Work 2” and finds as he presses ‘okay’ that the cell in his hand vibrates. There’s a new text- from Cas.

“Shit…” Dean curses, rushing now to the bus stop, “ _Shit shit shit!”_

He opens the message- actually, messages- from the other alpha and Dean feels a little guilt at being so unresponsive. To be fair, he was a little busy… with things.

__

_Dean, it’s Castiel._

_Charlie and I are wondering where you are. It’s a half hour after you got off and you still aren’t here._

_I hope everything’s okay…_

__

_Dean- where are you?_

__

_Adam and Sammy are tucked in now._

_They asked where you were._

_I didn’t know what to tell them._

__

_Is everything okay, Dean?_

__

_Dean- please answer._

_I’m getting really worried now._

__

_Bobby said that you should’ve been home for at least an hour now- and yet you’re not here._

_What is so important that you’d stay out until 11?_

_Is it serious?_

__

Dean sighs, knows that he over pushed his stay with Michael, but he can’t help that sex sometimes takes a lot of minutes to perform- and Michael is one to drag it out. The omega taps his outdated flip-phone keyboard a few times to get a quick but to-the-point message through.

__

_Missed bus, had 2 walk a bit b4 I got 2 the next stop. Will b home soon. Srry._

__

Dean hits send, and even before his phone reaches his pocket, it vibrates with another message.

__

_Oh thank God- Charlie and I were about to come looking. Do you need me to come get you?_

Dean smirks, Cas always looking out for him no matter what: _No, its k. Bus is here anyway. Youd waste gas._

He gets on the bus now, paying his toll from some of the money Michael gave him for transportation. He offered to drive Dean back- but Dean knew it would look suspicious of him to exit a random alpha’s car reeking of sex. He hopes that maybe the weird and overpowering smells of the city will be on his clothes rather than the latter.

Dean feels better than most times that he does this. Usually he’s left feeling hollow and vacant, nothing but the place where that unknown alpha had been. He knows it’s slightly from being an unmated omega- that deep down his instincts are trying to get him to mate- but there’s no time for that.

There never has been.

Sammy and Adam need him more than he needs a bond, a relationship, an actual sex life. He knows it’s selfish of him to sometimes crave those rudimentary things. His little brothers are more important than his own happiness, but nonetheless he thinks about those unattainable wants sometimes. He has dreams of having his own family, sometimes of getting to relax on the beach with his toes in the sand. Once, he even had a weird dream about finding out he was pregnant, but he blamed that on a missed suppressant pill a little too close to his muffled heat.

But those dreams, the ones up there with the clouds and stars- ones that Dean needs a damn rocketship to reach- are just too much of a fantasy compared to the two little boys who need Dean. Than the bills laying on the counter, for the car that is still sitting in Bobby’s parking lot- dead.

Dean doesn’t have the time to dream anymore- reality is calling. It’s more important than what is conjured up in his skull at night to ease some of the void he feels deep within his chest.

And that void- it fucking  _aches._

Dean subconsciously rubs the neck of his shirt against his skin, eyes staring at the floor of the bus. His mind is disconnected, floating off into his thoughts as the bus driver calls out his stop. The omega gets up, gives her a small tip and a thank you- smiling as she nods to him- and he gets off. Nothing but orange street lamps lighting the asphalt and cars as Dean walks the rest of his way to the apartment complex. It’s not too cold tonight, and Dean’s grateful. His coat has too many holes in it to keep him warm anymore.

Dean finds the steps and walks up them quietly, hearing the sound of cars passing by in the distance as he enters the building. He takes the stairs instead of the elevator again- not wanting to let himself be lazy tonight even though he’s tired. Besides, he has a fear of getting stuck in one, and it’s like the airplane fiasco all over again.

Dean had been fifteen maybe at the time, Sammy just a toddler, Adam an after thought, when John tried to take them back up to Sioux Falls for the summer. Driving with his sons felt like too much apparently, though he probably wasn’t sober enough to do it, and he ended up buying them plane tickets. When Dean found out what was going to happen, he literally lost it and forced John to end up driving them. Yet- the man couldn’t complain considering that was how he met Kate. The omega gives a tight laugh as he gets up to his door at the memory, knowing that John would more than likely yell at him for it now. If he wasn’t drunk enough to speak, that is.

The door opens as soon as Dean’s key touches the lock, and he’s left staring at a breathless Cas. The alpha is looking at Dean as though he was nearly kidnapped instead of late, and it makes Dean shuffle uneasily on the worn carpet.

“Hey, Cas…” Dean says awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as Cas watches him.

The alpha grabs him inside, giving him a tight hug before letting go, “I thought something went really wrong… Charlie already went back to her room because she had to work in the morning… You nearly made us have heart attacks, Dean.”

“I’m sorry, Cas…” Dean murmurs, side-stepping past the alpha and into his apartment, “I didn’t mean to be this late. It just happened.”

“If you had a car then you wouldn’t have to worry about missing the bus anymore.”

The omega sighs, going over to the kitchen and pouring himself a drink, “Look, Cas- I know I need a car, I know you want to help out- but I’m getting there. I can’t magically make the money for it pop up out of nowhere when I’m already struggling.”

“Then let me help, Dean. Let your pride take a backseat.”

“My pride?” Dean bleats, “You think I’m sayin’ no because I’m  _too proud_  to?”

Cas sighs, coming to the other side of the counter to look at the omega seriously, “Dean, I think you don’t want to ask for help because you think it makes you look weak. You think it’ll make all of the effort and time you’ve put into things look like nothing when someone outstretches their hand to you. Getting help isn’t a bad thing, Dean- especially when you need it.”

Dean brings the glass to his lips, sipping before he sets it down, mumbling quietly, “Maybe I don’t want it.”

“You’re being stubborn.”

“That’s who I am, Cas.” Dean looks up from the countertop, “I’m Dean Winchester- an omega who acts like an alpha or beta- who doesn’t take things from people because it makes him feel like he’s useless at doing stuff on his own. I’ve been this way for years, Cas.”

The alpha puts his fire out a bit, losing his bite when he realizes something Dean is unaware of, “You don’t think highly of yourself, do you?”

Dean quirks a brow, “Excuse me?”

“You think that as soon as someone has to help you that you aren’t fit at doing anything anymore.” Cas tilts his head, going on, “You think that you’re worth is based off of how much you can do for people- though you never do anything for yourself unless you have to. You think that people are judging you silently because you believe you aren’t doing a good job at anything-”

“Cas, please stop-”

The alpha doesn’t, “You think that the whole world is watching to see if you fail- and you think that if you do, it’s all over. You think that you’re nothing better than the ground you walk on and you treat yourself as such so others feel better about themselves, while you’re treated like a doormat-”

“Stop!” Dean yells, startling himself and Cas at the outburst, his arms shake slightly and his breath rushes out over his lips, “Cas- I think that’s enough…”

Cas looks away now, the air feeling slightly awkward as Dean breathes it in, “I’m sorry, Dean.”

The omega nods, speaking quietly, “Cas- I understand that you’re worried, or if you think that highly of me- and yes, all of those things are pretty much fucking true- but I’m not a child. I’m not someone you have to pity or watch over because you worry about them. I know it’s because you care, that you want to make sure Adam and Sammy are taken care of, but that’s my job. It’s my responsibility to take care of my brothers, to pay the bills, to find a new car- not yours. It never was meant to be that way. I’m not tryin’ to be harsh or somethin’, but I just have to tell you that, Cas. You weren’t ever supposed to get this involved.”

A tense moment of silence passes, Cas not letting Dean see his face until he looks up, expression determined, “Then why am I?”

“I-” Dean stammers, trying to get his thoughts together, finding that he comes up with nothing to stand for as an answer to the alpha’s question, “I don’t know.”

“Then why do you act as though you do?” Cas hissed under his breath, “Why do you make it seem like I’m a parasite to you when I’m only trying to help? I’ve given a lot to you, Dean, but it’s because I chose to. Nothing is keeping me tied here- nothing says I have to help you out- yet I am. Yet I’m getting hell from you for doing it. I understand if you feel wrong or bad about getting help- I understand how far you’ve had to go before to do something I can easily make happen at the flick of my wrist- but that doesn’t mean I deserve to be brushed off to the side because your pride is hitting a low. I care, Dean- I do- but you need to start caring about things other than debts and responsibilities. Start caring for people- start caring for yourself.”

Dean finds his retort dying in his throat, finds that the anger that built up inside of him has dissipated as Cas turns towards the door and opens it.

“Goodnight, Dean.” he’s about to shut the door when he stops, speaking so quietly that Dean strains to hear him, “I’ll be over tomorrow to watch Sam and Adam while Charlie and you are at work.”

Instead of giving Dean reassurance or clarity over the situation, it just makes him feel more like an ass.

“Okay…” he mumbles back, venom retreating out of his veins to rest back somewhere near his heart.

The void aches again as Cas shuts the door.

**__________**

Something is up with Dean- what exactly, Castiel is not privy to knowing.

He’s worried that something went on during the absence of the omega yesterday considering he was out so late. Even within the few short days that the alpha has gotten the blessing to know him, Dean never gave any sign of letting himself be so careless.

Missing the bus?

Something doesn’t feel right with Castiel, and he decides that whatever is going on will be eventually uncovered- but for now, the alpha will keep his distance on the subject.

For now, the most important thing on his mind is getting Adam to stop putting his yogurt all over the table.

“Adam!” he scolds lightly, “Yogurt is for eating- not art.”

Adam looks down slightly, still smiling, “I was just painting you and Dean is all…”

“What?”

Adam looks up, his gray eyes hopeful for being such a neutral color, “Sammy and I really like you, Cassie. We want you to stay with us.”

“Yeah!” Sam jumps into the conversation, looking up from his bowl of cereal, “You’re really nice and you take care of Dean- you make him happy!”

Castiel looks down towards the ‘drawing’ of two stick figures, their lines (they don’t exactly look like hands, but kudos to Adam for trying) crossed over one another. Big, lopsided grins are painted on their faces with strawberry yogurt.

It makes the alpha chuckle.

“It’s been a long time since we saw Dean so happy-” Sam adds, “and it was only because you showed up.”

Adam nods vehemently, “Yeah! You’re our knight in shining armor, Cassie! You saved Dean from bein’ sad!”

Castiel feels some pride swell in his chest, “Thank you both for the compliments and all, but that decision lies with your older brother… Now- who would like to make some noodle art?”

Sam and Adam both forget about their food and immediately grab the glue.

**__________**

Dean helps Bobby out with several customers before he takes his lunch time off. He’s got a sandwich from home as he scrolls through local car listings- careful not to get any crumbs on Bobby’s already damned-to-technological-hell computer.

“How’s the search comin’, boy?” Bobby asks, coming up from behind the omega.

“Okay I guess-” Dean swallows a quick bite before scrolling, “I have a few new ideas.”

Bobby nods, looking out towards Dean’s previous car as it sits in his parking lot, “You should sell it for scraps- could get you more money.”

Dean shrugs as he clicks further down the page, “Yeah, I suppose it would. But I don’t think much on that piece of shit is really worth anything.”

Dean thinks of himself for a moment- finding it ironic that statement can be true about both himself and his dead-to-the-world car. Bobby sighs from off to the side, causing the omega to look over at him.

“Somethin’ wrong, Bobby?”

“Nothin’- just- kid, when is life ever gonna let up on you?”

Dean looks away at the question, finding his next bite of bread and deli meat a little hard to swallow, “I don’t know, Bobby. When is life ever kind to anyone?”

“I know that it’s not supposed to be peachy, but seriously?” the beta scoffs, “You have enough bad luck that some people could consider you an omen, boy.”

“Thanks for the tip. I’ll keep it in mind next time someone asks if I’m feelin’ lucky.”

Bobby playfully slaps him on the back of the head, Dean chuckling at the older man, “Even when the light is dim does Dean Winchester find a way to brighten things up.”

The omega gives Bobby a sly grin, “It’s what I’m known for.”

The beta leaves Dean to keep car searching on the web.

Little does he know about the plan brewing about a set of wheels right underneath his nose.

**__________**

_I don’t think he’s found anything yet- you’re still good to go._

__

Bobby’s text makes Castiel feel a little better inside, knowing that he’s still got time. He’s on his laptop as Adam and Sam glue macaroni to construction paper behind him. The alpha is on the search for a certain vin number the beta supplied him with after he told him his plan on getting Dean a new car.

Bobby had been supportive of the idea, and in doing so- gave Castiel an even better window to help get the right air in. Dean had apparently owned another car before his last failure of one- and Bobby spoke of it with kind words and praise.

“ _Boy loved that damned thing._ ” Bobby had said, looking down at the ground in disgust over the fact Dean lost his most prized possession, “ _Had to sell her for his brothers- just like anything else that makes him happy- and he’s been missin’ that car ever since. If you want to get him a set of wheels as a surprise, get him the one he never wanted to give up in the first place._ ”

So that’s what Castiel did- and he found the vehicle in the most unexpected of places.

The junkyard.

_I found the car, Bobby. But you aren’t going to like it._

**__________**

Dean settles himself on the bus ride home, still tired and sore from his activities from yesterday. He’s a little nervous about going home- about confronting Cas- about acknowledging all that was said yesterday. He feels his muscles tense as the huge diesel machine puts its way down the street, passing other cars and making Dean feel as though he were somehow inside a landboat.

He just watches the buildings pass by the windows, sees the people move by the pane of glass without the slightest recognition of Dean being there watching. The omega feels invisible- just as he always does.

To the alphas he’s serviced- he’s nothing more than a live sex doll- one with a price, but better than fake. They’ve never paid attention to much other than sex, getting the deed done and moving on with their pathetic lives just as Dean did. The service was performed, the transaction of money was made, and they’d go their merry ways.

However, Dean felt as though he were getting cheated.

Alphas are okay with all of this ‘sex-and-no-relationships’ bullshit that Dean can’t stand. To omegas- to _betas_  even- sex is something special and good for a couple. Now, for Dean, it was nothing more than a quick buck.

He was cheated from feeling better about himself whenever he looked in the mirror.

Just how many people has he slept with over the past week- month- year? How many times has he laid his body and skin bare for another just for whatever was in their wallet? How many times as he let someone touch his most private of areas, just for a couple of Washington’s?

The questions make the omega slink down into the seat he’s in, finding his breath fog up the glass as a single tear manages to make it out of Dean’s emotional confines. It slithers down his cheek like a sickly snake, leaving behind a damp trail in its wake- forcing Dean to wipe it away before anymore evidence of its existence is created on his skin.

The bus lets him off a few moments later, Dean leaving to see Adam and Sammy on the last day before they have to go back to school- something they don’t like completely. It makes the omega laugh a little, remembering when he himself dreaded the thought of school. Now, he misses it.

When Dean gets to the door of his apartment, it flies open to Adam and Sammy, shoving noodle art in his face. Cas chuckles from behind them, walking into the living room.

“Look, Dean!” Sam jumps up and down, “I made a moose!”

“I made a dinosaur!” Adam chirps in.

Dean smiles warmly, forgetting the ache in his chest and the tear that had fallen- along with the ones he repressed- as he laughs lightly towards the still drying glue and crooked noodles, “They’re perfect guys. I’ll call up the nearest arm museum and get you a section to yourselves.”

Adam and Sammy proudly puff out their chests- grinning from ear to ear at their handiwork.

“Dean?” Cas asks, “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

Dean lets his younger brothers go back into the kitchen, joining Cas quickly and his heart speeding up in a swell of fear or anxiety, “Yeah, Cas?”

The alpha presents him with a blindfold, “I have a surprise for you.”

Dean is about to object when he remembers the argument last night, about how he was a dick to Cas and he had a point about him being angry for nothing towards him. So instead, Dean gives in and lets Cas put it on.

“Should I be worried?” he asks, wondering if it’s going to come off and all Dean would find is fire in his face from some tiki bar place.

“You’re life isn’t going to be in danger, Dean. I would never surprise you with reminding you of your mortality.”

Dean tilts his head, raising his eyebrows for a moment, “Wow, Cas. Poetic.”

The alpha just pushes him along. Dean knows that, even though there is a blindfold, Cas rolled his eyes.

Dean finds himself getting seated into a car moments later, and after taking turns that make him slightly dizzy from not knowing where they are coming from, he’s getting picked up out of the car. The air smells like engine oil, sunbleached paint, and aged gasoline. Dean feels a small bit of worry pick up in his stomach.

“Cas?”

“I’m right here, Dean.” his hands place themselves at the small of Dean’s back, and normally Dean would bat them away- but he’s flying blind over here- “It’s not that much longer, so don’t worry about not being able to see again.”

The comment earns Cas a nervous chuckle from the omega.

“Here we are.” Cas pulls off the blindfold, causing Dean to blink at the flooding of bright light.

It takes his pupils a few seconds to adjust, but soon enough he can tell there’s a car in front of him… a really…  _really…_  familiar car…

“Cas? …” Dean whispers, seeing the black paint he’s missed for so long- “is this- …”

“Your old 1967 Chevrolet Impala?” he raises a brow, “I believe so, yes.”

Dean feels the wind get knocked out of him, going over the body of his baby as he can’t find the right words to say. He jumps onto the ground, going under the bumper slightly- even in the dirt- to see if it can be true. If it’s even possible.

Tears well in his eyes as he sees the old ‘DW’ carved into the bottom, slightly rusted into the metal as Dean chokes a little on oxygen and emotions alone. He crawls back up, feeling nothing but gratefulness towards the alpha standing off a few feet away. He’s about to ask Cas a few questions when he notices something.

The right side of the car looks a little… bent.

Dean walks over, his happy feeling gone as he notices the amount of damage his baby has on her side. The metal is crumpled, rusted, bent in from getting t-boned. Tears still form at Dean’s cheeks, but they are caused by rage rather than elated adrenaline.

“He promised- …” Dean whispers, his voice quiet with anger, “That _fucking bastard promised_  he’d take care of her!”

“Dean-”

“It’s not alright, Cas!” Dean yells, the fire in his veins turning into an inferno, “That dick only got my baby because I made him promise- I made him _promise_  that he wouldn’t do this to her! Now look at my baby! She’s fucking totaled, Cas! That lyin’  _asshole_  wrecked her!”

Cas walks over, Dean being so angry he kicks a random hubcap lying on the ground into a rusted, dented barrel. The alpha puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder as more frustrated tears escape Dean’s eyes. The omega wants to find the guy who bought his baby and wrecked her, then skin him alive.

Okay-  _maybe_  it was going too far- but Dean has the right to be pissed about his baby being destroyed after he trusted the wrong person.

“Dean, she’s not a lost hope. She still runs, and she’s only been here for a month or two- so no one’s gotten to use her for parts.”

“Are you sure, Cas?” Dean wipes away the tears, “How can we be certain no car-vultures came and picked off of her?”

Cas sighs, but speaks, “I am not a hundred percent if they have, but I know now that they legally can’t.”

Dean looks back, tear-eyes narrowed, “How’s that?”

“Because I bought it from the junkyard. It’s your surprise, Dean. I got you your Impala back.”

Dean just gapes, looking down from his baby up to Cas. That is, until he faints.

**__________**

“He should be fine, just too much for him to take, I guess.” Bobby sighs as he shuts the door to Dean’s room.

Castiel stops pacing the floor and looks up to the beta, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, yah idjit. You did everything right. Dean just had too much to handle.” Bobby pets Sam on the head, Adam coming to cling quietly on his leg, “He should be fine in the morning, but I don’t want him gettin’ too stressed from anythin’. It ain’t gonna do him any good.”

Castiel nods, giving Charlie a glass of lemonade from her perch on the couch, her fiery red hair seeming to dim with the topic of Dean fainting, “He just got so worked up when he saw her at first- especially when he went under the bumper to check for something. But, then he saw the damage from the accident she was in and he just- lost it.”

Bobby nods, expecting as much, “Dean really cared about that car, and it means a lot to him. It reminds him of simpler times- like pie. He had a really hard time partin’ with her, and he forced the guy to promise he’d not do anything stupid with her while she was his.”

Castiel now understands Dean’s abhorrent frustration towards the man who bought his Impala.

“How did she get wrecked anyways?” Charlie asked from the couch.

“The guy ran a red light.” Bobby supplies for Castiel, “Tried drag racing some teenagers in a new mustang with a classic muscle car, ended up makin’ himself look like an idjit. He’s still in jail for it, I think.”

Castiel believes he should stay there for being so reckless.

Charlie makes a whistle to it, shaking her head, “People are idiots these days.”

“Agreed.” Castiel comments.

Adam and Sam come over to Castiel, Adam gripping onto the alpha’s leg like he had done to Bobby as Sam tugs on his shirt, “Are you gonna stay here, Cassie?”

Castiel nods, “Until Dean gets better, then yes. Like Bobby said, he should be fine in the morning- but until then I’ll stay here to make sure you’re okay too.”

Adam gives him a grin while Sam hugs his legs, saying into the fabric, “Thank you!”

The alpha feels pride swell in his heart at Dean’s youngest brothers shower him with affection until they have to go to bed for school. They whine a little about it, only because they want to be with Dean as soon as he gets better- and it makes Castiel grin as they say as much.

His younger brothers love him to bits and pieces.

He tucks Sam and Adam in, pulling the covers over their chests and placing a light kiss on their foreheads. The alpha wishes them a good night of sleep as he shuts the door, sighing as the wood stills and the hinges can go no further.

Castiel peeks into Dean’s room to make sure he’s okay- finding the omega soundly asleep within the plush, white covers. He looks a little younger than almost twenty among the cotton sheets, but Castiel knows that the person he is with acts a whole lot older than that when awake. He comes over to the side of the bed, checking Dean’s temple for a fever- just in case- and he finds Dean snuggle closer. A small groan comes out of him, and he shuffles a few times before he settles.

Sam and Adam sleep like him.

The realization makes Castiel grin from ear to ear- and he can’t help but give Dean a small peck on his cheek as he walks out of the room, letting the omega rest till he is better.

**__________**

Dean dreams.

He dreams of beaches- of snow- of rain. He dreams of Paris, of New York. Places he’s never visited, but craves to secretly.

The omega sees glimpses of Sammy and Adam, running and playing outside while they grilled. He sees bits and pieces of Bobby’s garage and Charlie’s apartment.

However, his dreams change slightly when he finds himself in Michael’s bed, on his hands and knees while someone moans behind him. It’s a bit of a shock, and for such an abrupt change in scenery, he supposes it’s a side effect. But as time wears on, he starts to feel a little worried about the dream he’s having.

He moans, though, through the fear and doubt as Michael swivels his hips just right. The omega holds onto the sheet in handfuls as he relaxes a bit for the alpha behind him.

Even for imaginary sex- this is the best he’s had in years.

Dean moans out again as Michael does whatever he did before, except this time he’s managing to go deeper- into Dean’s soul, into the very fibers of his core.

They mated.

Dean cries out at that fact, finding himself getting flipped over to see a glimpse of raven hair and cobalt eyes before the dream ends- leaving Dean to wake up.


	5. I May Not Have a lot to Give

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about taking so long to update.  
> This week was hell for me.  
> Monday, during my first period, my English teacher decides to tell me I have to redo my research paper that was 25% of my grade and that it was due Thursday since we're out Friday. Well- needless to say, I've been busy having to write that mess.  
> Plus- I have major testing in a little over 2 weeks. Yay.
> 
> Well, that and my fic for DCBB. I know that I've got time until the thing is due- but you have to know how much I actually have planned for it. So even though I'm already past 36,500 words for it- I'm barely even finished.  
> So that's another thing that's been taking up a lot of my spare time.
> 
> In the end- this all came together and caused me to put these stories on a back burner. Sorry.
> 
> But now, I'm back, and I've updated.
> 
> I don't know when the next one is- but I'll try my best within the next 14 days worth of Hell to try and get it done somehow. 
> 
> \----  
> I have to admit that this is one of my most favorite fics for this ship that I've written/published so far. I'm enjoying to write/read it more than I am with Positive even.  
> So it shouldn't be a surprise that I'm happy to update again!
> 
> Seriously- updating's been a bitch recently.  
> Like... ugh.
> 
> Anyways, I got it up finally (dirty?) and that's all that matters.
> 
> -
> 
> HEY!
> 
> THERE'S SOME HEAVY SEXUAL THINGS- BUT NOT SMUT- IN THIS CH.  
> Like, Dean get's a little frisky near the end and there;s actually a mention of omega slick. Whoo.  
> Also- I put Dean in a garter belt? So? ... yeah?

 

 

* * *

 

 

Dean blinks a few times to rid himself of the faint images created by his mind.

He doesn’t know what got into him- and it’s frightened the omega slightly as he tries to regain his breath among the sheets. Did his mind just- ? …

The oxygen settles in his lungs normally after a few minutes of heavy breathing- and finally Dean feels as though he can stand up without swaying. He places his feet gently on the floor, hoping not to wake up Sammy and Adam-

_Oh shit._

Dean looks at the clock and sees that it’s half-way past noon, and almost immediately does his mind start jumping to things. Were they late to school? Were they still here? Who’s watching them? Dean scrambles out into the hallway, finding his brothers’ beds empty and messy from where they’ve left them. His heart pounds in his chest as he goes into the living room to look.

“Hello, Dean.”

Cas’ voice causes the omega to jump with anxiety- a yelp escaping him before his feet touch the ground.

“Dammit, Cas-” he sighs out a nervous breath, running a hand through his hair, “scared the shit outta me.”

The alpha comes over with a cup of coffee, the smell of it settling some of Dean’s jumpy nerves as he offers it to him, “It’s alright. I’m guessing you’re concerned over your brothers’ whereabouts?”

“Damn right I am.”

“They’re at school.” Cas states simply, as if Dean should have known this, “I took care of them while you were resting.”

Dean rubs at the back of his neck, sighing, “Shit, Cas- I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, Dean.” he assures, sipping his drink, “There’s no need to apologize for what happened. You’re fine, that’s all that matters.”

The omega pads over to the couch, sitting down and taking a swig of his coffee, “Really? Because last time I checked you bought me a fuckin’ car, Cas.”

He shrugs, “It was a necessary thing to do. Originally, my plans were to buy you a new one-” Dean groans quietly, “but Bobby convinced me to go down the… sentimental route.”

“Wait- _Bobby_ was in on this?”

“Only because I needed to know what car you preferred. His answer was the vin number to your Impala.”

Dean runs a hand over his face, stress building, “Dammit, Cas- while I can’t thank you enough for gettin’ my baby back to me- I told you not to buy me a car.”

The alpha tilts his head, “That’s not what I expected…”

“Was it a ‘thank you’ you were lookin’ for, Cas?” Dean looks up at him, seeing those eyes narrowed, “I do enjoy what you did for me, I’m not sayin’ that- it’s just- fuck, Cas- I already owe so much and adding this onto my bill… Just- how in the fuck can I ever pay you back? With my wage at the garage- with all my other debts- shit, Cas… You’re gonna be gettin’ loose change till the day I die-”

“ _Don’t_ say it like that…” Cas murmurs, looking slightly angry at Dean for even forming the sentence- let alone uttering it- “I explained from the beginning that I am not here as some debt collector, that I’m not trying to take advantage of you in any way. I understand that anything I do to try and make things easier on you usually ends up with us arguing over your idea about being frugal. I know that my investments are not the wisest- and even if I didn’t coming into this- you would have told me as much. My dollar bills are not sacred- my time is not god-like- so all I ask of you is to stop acting as though those statements are opposite of what is the truth. Dean, I’m only trying to make you happy.”

Dean looks down, not wanting to meet those sea-blue eyes, “I don’t know why you are… There are people in the world who have even less than me who need it…”

Cas comes over a few inches, setting his mug on the coffee table before taking a single finger, guiding Dean’s jaw upwards so their eyes can meet, “Dean- you always wonder why I do any of this. Why I decided to do as much as I can for you. This is why. You always believe that you’re the last one to worry about, that other people are more important in comparison. You’ve managed to convince yourself that if there was anyone in the world who shouldn’t get to be happy, it’s you. That’s why I’m doing all of this, Dean- because you’re the only person I’ve ever met who certainly believes they don’t deserve to be happy- even if they have all the rights in the world to be.”

Dean stares after Cas as he walks away to go do something in the kitchen, leaving the omega alone.

**…**

Castiel lets Dean soak in what he had said. Most of it was true- his reasons- but there’s something he doesn’t want to open up about.

That’s his feelings towards Dean.

Even though they may fight, or they may have a few disagreements here and there- Castiel is practically head over heels for Dean. No amount of money in his bank account could ever compare to the swell of warmth whenever Castiel even thinks about Dean. The omega has managed to get him wrapped around his finger without even knowing it- and even then is telling Castiel that he does too much for him and that he doesn’t think he deserves any of that attention. It makes Castiel a little saddened, to be honest.

How can someone so amazing- so perfect in every way- think so lowly of themselves?

Castiel shakes his head, washing a few more dishes before glancing up at Dean. The omega is  staring off into space, mug in both hands, legs crossed together on the couch as he thinks. The sunlight hits his hair and eyes just right, causing the jade to sparkle and the brunette to lighten up and glow. Castiel feels the oxygen leave his lungs from what is usually considered a simple sight- the dishes below his fingertips forgotten.

Then, of course, his secret moment is ruined by Dean hearing his phone vibrate.

**…**

Dean runs over to his phone, finding the label _‘Work 2’_ on the screen.

“Shit, Cas- I gotta take this.”

The alpha just gives a small nod, going back to the dishes he started as Dean thought on the couch.

Dean heads into his room, closing the door behind him as the call connects, “Michael?”

“ _Hey there, Dean._ ” Michael says, Dean hearing something cook in the background, “ _How are you?”_

“I’m doing okay…” Dean murmurs, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, “Why are you callin’ me?”

Dean walks over to his mattress to sit down as Michael goes on over the line, “ _I wanted to know if you were up to… coming over tonight. Is that okay with you?”_

The omega sighs, “Yeah sure… I could really use the money right now.”

“ _Did something happen?”_ Michael asks, “ _Look, Dean- if you need it I could lend you some-”_

“No, Michael- stop right there, it’s fine. I don’t need handouts, okay? I’ll just come over later and earn the money then. That sound good?”

There’s a pause, “ _I suppose so, yeah. Look- if you really need anything, just ask. I know how life can be sometimes, and it’s not wrong to ask for help every once in a while._ ”

Dean just nods off to the side, “Yeah- yeah, I know about that bullshit. I’ll be over around seven.”

“ _I’ll see you then._ ”

Dean hangs up, setting his phone on the mattress and putting his face in the palms of his hands. He’s so fucking stressed right now, and he feels as though he’s a damn guitar string- wound too tight and ready to snap if someone plucks him just right. He gives a shaky breath, knowing that if he goes on like this much longer… it’s going to break him.

There’s a knock on the door, however, and it causes Dean to snap to attention immediately.

“Yeah?” he tries to not sound like he was about to cry.

“Is everything okay, Dean?” Cas asks, muffled by the door, “Was that Bobby or something?”

Dean bites his lip, “No- just someone important. Don’t worry about it or me, Cas- it’s fine.”

Cas seems to hesitate behind the wood, but just takes a few steps back before murmuring, “Alright- I trust you.”

Well, Dean now feels like an even bigger dick than before.

He looks at his alarm clock now, seeing the time at a quarter past one. He’s got a bit before he sees Michael, and there was a text from Bobby saying he didn’t have to come into work until Wednesday. All he has now is time.

The omega sighs, standing up and deciding he’s really gotta earn the bucks now that Cas bought him his fucking Impala back. The thought about his baby brings happiness, but also more stress. How is he going to fix her? How in the hell can he get her back to fully remodeled if he doesn’t have the dough? Dean groans as he goes into his closet, looking for a few things he keeps hidden away from people- minus his clients.

It’s a special box he rarely ever touches- but whenever he does use its contents- he manages to make a lot of extra money on a single client. He pulls back the lid, finding a few items he’s collected ever since he began selling himself off like a damn rent-a-whore.

Inside is a bottle- one filled with a special type of fragrance that helps him seem like a damn hors d'oeuvre to horny alphas- and it’s worked perfectly anytime it’s sprayed onto his skin. There’s also a few clothing items in it- the box being a safe haven for a special shirt and pair of jeans Dean never wears until special occasions such as this. It’s a black button up shirt that slightly smells of the spray, and the jeans fit his ass just right and makes him look like he’s walking out from the set of a porno. It works to earn him a lot of eyes and such whenever he goes out- and with how much money he needs- the staring is welcome.

Dean looks for one more thing- making sure it’s there before he puts the lid back on after taking inventory. He stands up, bringing the box to his bed and sets it underneath the mattress to wait for later. Dean goes into the bathroom, taking a few things such as lotion, and applying it to his skin.

The list of preparation is a long one, but Dean hopes that with the extra effort, he’ll be able to land a long-numbered check.

He looks up into the mirror, seeing that the cream he’s put onto his face has made his freckles pop out further against his tanned skin. The reflection staring back at him is a little strange, the feeling he has when he stares at the sage eyes before him is one of confusion.

When did he lose the ability to recognize himself?

The omega looks down, knowing that if he stared at the person in the mirror- he’d end up fraying just like he feared.

**…**

Castiel chops some green peppers and onions on the cutting board silently.

Dean is in the back still, doing whatever he needs to as the alpha chops up vegetables in the kitchen. Castiel didn’t want to worry him much more than he already is, so he decided a nice homemade meal would help quell some of the stress building up on the omega.

He knows that Dean won’t admit it- but his stubbornness is finally getting to him. It’s finally starting to crack his reserve and is beginning to show him just how fragile things truly are at the moment. He’s hoping that maybe this revelation will help Dean accept his offers, but he knows that even then, Dean will deny it all.

Like Bobby had told him when they grilled out: _stubborn to the end._

The alpha thinks about that day, remembering how Dean looked as he talked to Charlie, or how he had smiled after eating Castiel’s burgers- or even when he was on the swingset with Adam in his lap and they waved. It’s like a different person was there that day- like Dean actually enjoyed life instead of being worried about it. It was like the Dean that sold himself off and dreamed instead of lived had been nothing but a part of the past for him.

The thought of Dean and his profession- other than working at Bobby’s garage- anger the alpha slightly. He knows it’s selfish of him to crave Dean in such a way- to want only him to have the blessing of having him- but he won’t take advantage of Dean like that. Even when Dean offers, he knows that it’s because Dean thinks it’s the only way he can give Castiel something back, when it’s not that at all. Castiel doesn’t want that- he just wants Dean.

He wants him in the morning when he just wakes up, he wants him when he’s on the couch watching movies, he wants him sitting at the dinner table across from him eating mashed potatoes.

It’s not sex- though it would be a nice addition- that Castiel is after. He wants all those moments with the omega: the in between ones, the uncertain ones, the odd ones. Castiel wants to be able to wake up in the morning knowing Dean’s just a few inches away. He wants to be able to know that when he closes his eyes that Dean’s going to be there in one way or another.

He just wants Dean.

Castiel sighs, setting the knife down onto the counter as he finishes up the last pepper.

They say a man can dream if he wants to.

**…**

Dean caps the chapstick and sets it back in his drawer, putting the finishing touches on. He’s going to let the lotions soak in before he takes a shower- that way he’ll be soft by the time he reaches Michael, but not oily and slippery like he would be if he had just put it all on. He’s hoping that maybe the alpha will like the extra touches he is adding and tip him more for it.

Lord knows that Dean needs the money.

Dean sighs, looking over to see his special box under the bed, waiting for him later. He knows that if Cas found out about him still doing his work- it’ll make him angry. In fact, it’ll piss Bobby and Charlie off, too. But Dean’s tired of caring at this point. He needs to pay back Cas- to prove that he’s not some damn gold digging omega who sits on their ass and gets paid.

No- he’s a butcher, thank you- because he brings home the whole god damn pig.

Dean grips the edge of the bathroom counter, sighing as he tries to prepare himself for later. He always feels a little degraded whenever he has to rely on the things in his box- so it always leaves him feeling anxious to use it. However, Sammy and Adam need him to provide, so dignity can take a back seat for a little bit instead.

Cas knocks on the bathroom door, causing Dean to jump- “Dean? Are you okay?”

“Peachy, Cas…” Dean says back, “What is it?”

“I made some food for you- and I was wondering if you want some. It’s just some philly cheese steaks.”

Dean bites his bottom lip, stomach growling below, “Yeah- that’s fine. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Cas seems to hesitate at the bedroom door, but as Dean hears his footfalls getting quieter with distance, he thinks that Cas decided to let whatever it was go unsaid.

“Look, Winchester-” Dean looks in the mirror, speaking quietly but with determination, “you’ve got to fuckin’ own it tonight. You just can’t lay there like you always do. No whining- no feelin’ like some two-cent painted whore-” he closes his eyes, whispering, “you’ve got to do this… for Sammy and Adam… to pay back Cas and all the other people you’ve ever let down, okay? … You’ve got to…”

The omega opens his eyes, yet avoids the mirror as he walks away. Instead, he pulls the blanket down to hid the box, and leaves his room. He hopes that the stuff he’s done so far to get ready for Michael isn’t too noticeable, and if it is- Dean’s gotta come up with an excuse as to why he’s getting to proper for a guy who was offering extra to knot him.

He finds Cas fixing the sandwiches in the kitchen, setting down the plates for himself and Dean as the omega walks in. He swivels around to look at him, and he tilts his head a little bit.

“Somethin’ wrong, Cas?” Dean feels like a spotlight is on him, “I don’t have a piece of spinach stuck in my teeth, do I?”

“No-” he blurts and then looks away, “it’s nothing. Just ignore me…”

Dean nods to himself, going over to the kitchen to stand beside Cas, getting his sandwich. The alpha seems to stiffen with the proximity, and Dean hopes that he isn’t smelling like fucking ‘sunset coconut’ right about now… Dean moves around Cas and sits down at the table, eating a few bits of the food and smiling.

“It’s really good, Cas- thanks…”

Cas nods, “I-I took a lot of time preparing them.”

Dean ignores the stutter, letting it pass over as he swallows, “Sammy and Adam get out in about an hour or so… Should be long enough for you to eat- right?”

“Yes, enough time- really.” Cas sits in a chair opposite from Dean, “I have some leftovers for them, so they can have some food after they get back.”

“I can’t thank you enough, Cas.”

The alpha shrugs, looking away, “It’s fine, Dean. I’m glad I can help out.” Dean looks down to his plate when Cas asks something, “Dean- are you going somewhere later?”

Dean looks up to find the alpha watching him closely, as though he was observing something, “Yeah, actually. One of my friends wants to hang out and I haven’t seen them in a while, so…”

“Friend?”

“Yeah- he just came into town just for this week… Haven’t seen him since I was in school.”

It’s a bad lie- but the addition of Dean’s lost graduation moment causes Cas to soften up like butter in seconds. He nods then, letting it go and taking a bite of his sandwich.

Dean wished he could do the same.

 

**…**

Castiel cleans up the mess from his cooking. Dean seems a little more relaxed now that he’s going out to see his friend. He’s currently getting out of the shower as Castiel puts the last dish into the washer.

He’s honestly a little worried about Dean, because when did the omega ever go out for anything considered fun?

Either way, Castiel can’t keep him from going, even if it seems suspicious.

He walks back to Dean’s bedroom door, knocking on it, “I’m going to go pick up Sam and Adam from school. I’ll be back in about thirty minutes.”

“That’s fine, Cas- thank you!”

Castiel leaves then, trying to ignore the voice in his head begging to get past the door.

**…**

Dean dresses himself quietly, knowing that Cas is gone and he has a little less than an hour to hide away the evidence. He fixes himself up in the mirror quickly, running around his room. He’s trying to make sure that he’ll be leaving around the same time that Cas gets back with Sammy and Adam- that way Dean will be able to sneak in a client or two before he visits Michael.

He knows it’s wrong, but- he doesn’t have a choice in this. He’s gotta start getting money for Cas and to fix the Impala now that it’s under his name and care again.

Dean’s about to head out the door when Cas opens it, noticing Dean’s clothes and pausing to stare at him. Dean’s got the spray tucked away in his pocket, careful as to not get it on him so Cas isn’t suspicious. However, it doesn’t seem to help any.

“Is he taking you to see the president?” Cas jokes, looking Dean up and down before looking at him in the face- eyes a shade darker than Dean’s used to.

“No, Cas- we’re just goin’ out is all…” Dean murmurs, then hugs Sammy and Adam real quick, “Sorry I can’t stay long today- somethin’ came up and I gotta go handle it.”

Sammy shrugs, “It’s alright.”

“You deserve to go out and have fun.” Adam grins, kissing Dean on the cheek quickly, “You don’t do it that often.”

Dean looks away for a second, “Thanks, Adam… I’ll keep that in mind…”

He kisses the tops of their heads before he turns to leave, finding Cas’ hand grab onto his arm. It causes the omega to still, looking over his shoulder to see Cas handing him his phone.

“You almost forgot this.” he says, that spark in his eye that causes Dean to feel as though something was about to ignite.

“Thanks, Cas.” Dean whispers, looking away for a moment, “I’ll call when I’m about to come home. I don’t know how long I’ll be, but… it’s probably going to be late.”

Cas nods, “It’s fine, Dean. You’re having fun for once- you have the right to.”

Dean just looks away again, hating himself for lying to Cas when he’s done nothing to deserve it, “I’ll keep that in mind…”

Cas hesitates, Dean watching as he wants to say something but lingers. Instead- he shuts the door without uttering a word.

_Okay, then._

So Dean heads off to go get what he needs done.

**…**

“So beautiful…” the alpha murmurs into Dean’s skin, Dean choosing to ignore the comments as he feels foreign hips grind against his own, “Smell s’good.”

The alpha pushes Dean up against the wall now, his shirt unbuttoned to the point that it looks like a v-neck as the alpha rubs Dean up and down. Thankfully, Dean’s jeans are still on his person at the moment, so he won’t worry about what’s underneath his jeans anyway.

Besides, this dude wants to rut up against him, apparently.

Dean notices the ring on the guy’s left finger, swallowing heavily, “ _You’re engaged?”_

The alpha pulls back from his neck, “Shit- I-”

“Sorry, dude.” the guy lets him fall to his feet, Dean fixing the buttons, “I don’t help people cheat.”

“Says you- if someone has some spare change on them you’re willing to do _anything_ for ‘em-”

Dean swivels, “Excuse you? What I fucking do is none of your concern. Did you ever think that there’s more to this than just a fuck? That I have bills to pay and people who are leaning over my shoulder waiting for some damn payments? This isn’t all about getting some damn knot. Besides, you must either be a huge dick to cheat on your fiance like this- and when you’d rather pay for sex rather than get with the person who’s willing to give you so much more for free- I think you’ve got more issues than I do, fucking asshole.”

The alpha keeps insulting Dean as he walks away, terms like “knot whore” and “cheap skank” follow Dean from out of the bar and into the night air around him as cars pass.

So much for feeling good today.

Dean holds his arms across his chest, going to the nearest bus stop to head over to Michael’s. He was only able to make about a hundred bucks or so before this last asshole happened. The omega tries to reign in the oxygen as he walks, hoping that he’ll be able to quell this feeling in his chest before escapes.

If he’s honest- he’ll say that he’s just been feeling off all night- but since he’s not going to be, not even to himself- he’d just say it’s nothing.

Dean gets on the bus, sitting down and huddling in his seat as he waits for the driver to get him near Michael’s apartment. Of course, his phone vibrates then.

_How’s your night going?_

It’s from Cas, and it makes a sad smile appear on Dean’s face, considering Cas always manages to know when Dean’s feeling low- even if he has no idea what’s been going on in the past couple of hours.

**Its ok. y?**

Dean waits for the reply, his empty feeling moving away from his chest: _I was just wondering… Sam and Adam have been having a good time, if it makes you feel any better. Adam has figured out how to do handstands on the couch and Sam has discovered that he enjoys making animals from straws._

The omega smiles, typing back: **Yea- they do that. theyre just out there honestly. im glad theyre havin fun tho.**

_It is a good thing. Adam says hi and Sam wants me to tell you he wants ice cream for dinner._

Dean grins, knowing that Michael’s apartment is appearing too soon for his tastes: **Tell them i said hi + they can only have 1 scoop.**

_They seem to be pleased with this arrangement._

**I figured they would b.**

_Well, either way I hope you have fun tonight, Dean._

Dean bites his bottom lip as he clicks his flip-phone’s keys: **Thks cas. ill try.**

The omega pockets his cell as the driver brakes at the stop, Dean giving her some change and stepping off. He heard the bus pull away as he takes a deep breath, spritzing himself with the fragrance as he makes his way up the steps.

Michael answers the door almost immediately, “Hey, Dean.”

“Hi.” Dean steps inside, rolling his shoulders a little to ease his building anxiety, “I’m here, so…”

“Straight to business I see…” Michael smirks, walking over to Dean.

He wastes no time with it, kissing Dean on the lips while guiding him towards the couch. The omega’s back finds the cushions quickly as Michael towers over him, lips working feverishly against Dean’s own.

“You used that omega spray, didn’t you?” Michael chuckles, “Good investment…”

Dean just goes back to kissing him, knowing that the sooner he can get to earning the money the better. Michael, however, seems to have his own ideas as he moves down to Dean ‘s neck. This however, sets something off in Dean.

Michael yanks back, expression serious as he stares at Dean, “Did you not take your suppressants? …”

Dean shakes his head, feeling too hot and weird- “No, I haven’t stopped or skipped them… Why? …”

Michael nods to himself, breathing out heavily, “Well, Dean, I think they just failed.”

**…**

Castiel has just finished tucking in Sam and Adam when his phone rings. When Dean’s number lights the screen, the alpha immediately answers.

“Dean?”

“ **I, uh-** ” it doesn’t sound like Dean- “ **it’s someone else. A… friend. Um, Dean said you could come pick him up?** ”

Castiel already starts grabbing his keys, sending a quick text Charlie’s way before putting the phone back to his ear, “Did something go wrong?”

There’s a cough, “ **Yeah, uh. His suppressants failed. He’s in heat and out of it.** ”

The thought of Dean in heat is enough to make Castiel run, but out of concern, “Is he okay?”

“ **I think… I’ve given him a few things like an ice-pack and some meds for the cramps, but other than that he’s just curled up in a ball.** ”

“Do you have any idea why it happened?”

There’s a sigh from the other line, “ **No clue, honestly. They say that sometimes they fail out of nowhere or there’s underlying reasons… Do you think he’s pregnant-** _I’M NOT PREGNANT YOU ASSHOLE-”_

__

Castiel smiles that at least Dean is there and conscious, “I’m assuming he’s angry?”

“ **That’s a light word for it, yeah. I don’t blame him though- it seems pretty bad. I heard that the longer a heat’s suppressed the worse it is when you stop takin’ the pills or they fail.** ”

Castiel gets down to his car, unlocking it, “As long as he’s not in immediate danger, then that’s okay. I’m already on my way- can I get your address so I can get him?”

“ **Oh yeah- shit… Sorry, got sidetracked-** _CASSSSSSS-”_

Dean’s friend manages to get the address to the alpha before there’s the sound of fabric or something moving against the phone, and the noises are soon replaced by puffs of air.

“D-Dean? …”

“ _Cas- Cas- please._ ”

The alpha tries not to speed as he drives down the road, “Are you okay, Dean?”

There’s a small muffled noise, “ _Shit, Cas- it hurts- it hurts so fuckin’ bad- please-”_

“What do you need, Dean?” Castiel fumbles with ideas, “Something medical? Do I need to get something before we go home?”

“ _No, I need y-you-”_ there’s a groan, its sound causing Castiel to flush as he drives, “ _Shit Cas- I fucking need you._ ”

Castiel swallows, knowing he’s just about ten minutes away, “I’m driving as fast as the speed limit and traffic will allow me to, Dean. I cannot teleport.”

It sounds like Dean screams into a pillow, and for a second Castiel is concerned until Dean growls into the phone, “ _Castiel- you get your fucking alpha ass down here before I run down the damn road in nothing but a garter belt smelling like sex trying to hump any stranger I can-”_

“Dean!” Castiel squeaks, nearly swerving in traffic, “That’s not a good idea-”

“ _Neither is me being in heat around another alpha-”_

Castiel growls into the phone before he can stop it, a slight purr coming from over the line, “Dean, you need to stop behaving so irrationally.”

It sounds like Dean is doing something, and there’s a gasp in the background as Castiel goes a couple of numbers over the speed limit, “ _Don’t tell me you don’t want another alpha around me or else I’ll show you why you wouldn’t want that, Castiel._ ”

The alpha represses a growl, gripping his cellphone tighter, “Dean- don’t do anything you’re going to regret-”

“ _I’m past that right now. Say- Michael- how would you like it if I touched-”_

Castiel snarls into his phone, finding a small chuckle from the other line barely reaching his ear, “Dean.” Castiel says, low and threatening to the omega to stop.

“ _Don’t like it when another alpha is around me?”_ Dean purrs into the phone, “ _Then come on, big boy- fuckin’ bring it on. Let’s see who can get their threat over and done with first._ ”

Castiel nearly cracks his case as he speeds down the road, only a few more minutes away from- apparently an alpha named Michael’s apartment- as Dean moves around on the other line.

“ **Dean-** ” Castiel hears Michael plead, “ **I don’t think this is the best time for you to be-** ” Dean interrupts him, “ _Is it? Did I really just hear that come out of your mouth? Didn’t you tell me you’d pay me extra if you knotted me in heat?”_

Castiel growls into the phone again, the sentence angering him- especially when his mind makes a picture to the scene- “Dean. Stop- now.”

“ _Or you’ll what, Castiel?”_ Dean teases, “ _Will you reprimand me?”_

“You aren’t acting like you, Dean.” Castiel admits, even though a different part of him doesn’t mind this change too much.

Dean is about to say something when Castiel hears Michael speak instead, “ **Dean- I’m not going to do anything. This is obviously your heat makin’ you horny-** ”

Castiel grits his teeth as he parks his car, barely even shutting it off and locking the door as he rushes up the steps, “Dean- I’m here now-”

The door flies open, Castiel barely having any time to put his phone away before Dean flings himself onto the alpha, causing Castiel to smell all of his pheromones. Michael stands in the doorway, looking slightly flushed and concerned. However, Castiel growls at him to stay back as he remembers what Dean said.

“Whatever you two had going- it’s over now.” Castiel grabs Dean by the wrist, the omega purring loudly behind him as he slinks down the stairs.

Castiel guides them quickly to his car, finding that Dean is following him enough to where there are only a few inches in between them.

“Dean- please.”

The omega rubs himself all over Castiel, vibrating as he purrs and slinks around him. Castiel notices that his jeans are on his arm, and that he wasn’t exactly lying about the garter belt.

Dean grins, “I was going to use it for Michael, but…” he lets Castiel drape over him as he pulls the alpha back with his tie, back leaning onto the car- “Something caused our plans to change.”

Castiel watches Dean’s pupils dilate under the streetlamps, making the omega look drunk or high as he grins.

“Dean- you need to see a doctor.” Castiel moves back a few inches, Dean’s face falling slightly, “We need to know why you’re in heat even though you’re on suppressants. There could be something wrong.”

Dean whines- actually whines- and it makes the alpha go stiff as Dean squirms against the car- “ _Dammit, Cas!_ Can’t you see I fucking need to get _fucked_ right now! I was going to let Michael do it, but then he mentioned calling someone and I thought of you- then that idea went out the window.”

Castiel’s heart falters, but he keeps it reigned in, “Dean- this isn’t right. There can be something medically malfunctioning right now and intercourse would not be best for you. I’m going to see if there’s a clinic open and we’re going to let them check to see why you’re in heat at the moment. After we get answers- we’ll talk.”

The omega groans, pulling his pants back on, hissing, “Fucking self-righteous alpha…”

The words hurt Castiel a little bit as Dean acts like a pouting teenager, sitting in the back to put as much distance between himself and the alpha as possible, “Dean- I told you even from the start that I’m not taking advantage of you. That isn’t changing because you think I’m the solution to an unknown heat.”

However, Dean seems to be having none of it as Castiel drives them to the nearest clinic. He’s completely quiet as he pouts in the back seat, filling the cab up with his pheromones as he squirms and twitches against the cushions.

When they arrive, Dean bolts out of the car and inside, causing Castiel to sigh as he fixes his car to go join him. He enters a minute or two afterwards, finding Dean in a chair all by himself- forcing Castiel to take one opposite from him.

“You’re acting like a child, Dean-”

“A _horny_ child…” Dean corrects, refusing to look at him, “One that prefers you to leave them alone.”

Castiel rolls his eyes, “Dean, you’re being immature and you know it-”

Thankfully he and Dean are the only ones in the room as Dean hisses out, “Immature? I’m having fucking slick leak out of my ass, I’m currently thinking about nothing but sex, and I would _really_ like it if you lent me your dick- but _no!_ Big alpha Castiel has to keep his promises that never applied to _this!”_

Castiel just doesn’t even reply, deciding that arguing with Dean is pointless.

The omega is squirming around again, looking like an angsty teenager as he waits for the clinic doctor. He looks irritated, still ignoring Castiel’s presence as he sits off and pouts.

“Dean Winchester?”

Dean jumps up, Castiel following suit into the room as the clinic doctor greets them, “Hello, there. What do you- _oh._ Okay- I can smell why.”

The omega growls at him.

Dean just goes into the room as the doctor raises an eyebrow towards Castiel, “Normally I would dismiss you from the room, but it seems like I’m going to need your help with handling him.”

“Sure thing.”

Dean is sitting on the examination table as the doctor sits in his chair, Castiel leaning on a wall off to the side. The doctor flips through a few papers before clicking his pen.

“So, Mr. Winchester- why did you come to see me while you’re in heat?”

“Because I’m not supposed to be-” he snaps, arms crossed defiantly, “I’m on suppressants.”

The doctor whistles as he marks a few things, Dean growling off to the side as Castiel runs a hand through his hair, “Well- that would explain the extreme mood swings.”

Dean is about to snap on him again when Castiel sends a warning growl to the omega- telling him to calm down- and immediately Dean is like putty on the table.

“Any idea why he’s like that?” Castiel asks, trying to ignore the reaction.

The doctor nods, “Whenever an omega suppresses their heats, the return of it can usually be a rough process, no matter the cause. Since Dean is almost twenty and has been on suppressors since he was twelve- I would say that eight years worth is a lot to go through all at once.”

Castiel nods, “But what about the failure? What do you think caused that?”

“Dean-” the omega lifts his head, glaring, “what job do you have-”

“I work at garage and I’m a prostitute.”

Castiel face palms.

The doctor nods, “They’re common- so I’m not surprised. I believe that your not-so-legal job has finally come to bite you in the ass.”

“Why’s that?” Castiel asks, Dean flipping him the bird.

“The sex he has causes his brain to think he’s mating- but, when it doesn’t happen- his system gets a little frustrated. You see, with prostitutes, the number one reason why suppressors fail is because their body needs them to finally get hitched and such.”

Castiel blinks, “So this heat… it’s Dean’s body trying to- …”

“Get a mate, basically. I’m afraid that he can no longer be one considering his birth control will also fail on him as well. All in all-” the doctor sets the files down, “if he has sex ever again- the person it’s with is going to be his mate.”

Castiel nearly breathes wrong as Dean starts snoring on the examination table.

**  
  
  
**


	6. But What I Got I'll Give to You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ch. kind of made me want to cry- because I found out, without meaning to, that I have a soft spot for Charlie- and when Charlie cries- I apparently have to go down with her.
> 
> Anyways, I was surprised that I managed to write this all (basically) in one day. I began at midnight and finished before it. Strange.
> 
> Either way, there's a few more things in the ch. and I cannot guarantee anything.
> 
> Enjoy!~

 

* * *

 

 

 

Castiel has to ask Charlie to let Sam and Adam stay at her apartment after he brings Dean back to his room. When she asks about it, he slightly explains the situation, only telling her that he’s got to sort this out with Dean now that shit has honestly hit the fan.

“Wait- so next time he tries to _fluff_  some pillows, he- …” she trails off.

Castiel sighs, trying not to think about it as his tongue forms the words he's trying so desperately to avoid, “He’s going to end up mated with whoever it’s with. The doctor said that even his birth control will fail on him now.”

She whistles as she widens her eyes, crossing her arms and leaning on the doorframe.

Right now- Sam and Adam are asleep, Dean on his bed from where Castiel had placed him, and it’s so late in the morning that the sun is supposed to be coming up in a few minutes. There’s birds chirping outside, the faint sound of coffee machines whirring reaches Castiel’s ears.

“Who woulda thought this would happen?”

“Not me, to assure you.” he mumbles, folding his trench coat and draping it over the side of the couch, “All I do know is that this going to affect Dean greatly once he is able to process the information, not while he's…” the alpha leaves the sentence’s end unsaid.

“He’s still in heat?” the beta furrows her brow.

Castiel nods solemnly as he tidies up slightly- as much as he can manage for the moment, “Just for today, at least. After Dean passed out, the doctor said that it’s going to be a short one since it’s the first after the suppressants failed. Once that is all over, he’s going to go back on a regular schedule, along with the rest of the things he had to deal with before he got on any pill to avoid them.”

“What about today? What’s going to happen now?”

“He should be conscious and fine in a few hours. Nothing too serious, that I know of.” Castiel answers simply, placing Sam and Adam’s backpacks by the door for them to take with them whenever it’s feasible.

Charlie shakes her head in slight disappointment, “That’s kinda messed up for his body to go betrayin’ him like that… But then again- Dean has god awful luck, so I’m honestly not surprised… This is gonna kill him… Especially concerning…” she waves her hand around, gesturing silently to what Castiel has always tried to get Dean out of.

The innocent comments makes the alpha stiffen within seconds, yet he mentions nothing about his discomfort, “I believe it would be strenuous on him, yes. He was with a client when I had to fetch him.”

Castiel represses a feral growl at the simple thought of Michael.

“Wait- he was off doin’ that again?” Charlie looks a little upset now, but mostly surprised, “You know- I was thinking that since you walked into the picture he wouldn’t of had to do that anymore.”

“Me either, but Dean is extremely headstrong. He won’t just lay around and let me pay for things when he thinks he can do it himself. Which, is almost _always._ ”

Charlie bites her bottom lip, pausing on her reply- she ends up looking towards the alpha with furrowed eyebrows, “Do you know why he does all of that? … The whole ‘ _I gotta do everything myself’_ thing? … I’ve known Dean for a long time now, and I’ve never been able to crack his damn code… He’s like some sort of ancient language I can’t translate- and I know Elvish, Klingon, and Enochian by heart.”

Castiel wants to answer her, to be able to give a response that rings true, but he can’t- “I’m sorry, but I’m about as clueless as you are. Dean doesn’t open up to me about most things. He excludes me from anything considered emotional or personal to him. It’s like standing in front of a dam, and you look up and see all the water getting held back by a single wall, and you wonder if it’ll hold- if it can even take a single drop without breaking or overflowing. I’m worried that one day he’ll get that final straw, and all of his walls will come crashing down on him and drown him out.”

Charlie is completely silenced by the confession, but she nods her head nonetheless, looking grimly down the hall to stare at Dean’s closed door. Castiel follows her gaze with the same sinking feeling in his heart.

“He doesn’t deserve _any_ of this…” Castiel murmurs, almost too quiet for Charlie to hear, “There’s bad people in this world- people who do things that will surely land them a special spot in Hell- however, I see nothing happen to them that can be considered karma’s doing. It’s like they get a pass over even though fate should strike them down where they stand.” Castiel swallows, throat tight, “Yet, every time I blink, something goes completely wrong for Dean. It’s either something else demanding him to pay up with money he doesn’t have, or people trying to take advantage of him, or just things that cause him stress- and it always happens to him. I try fixing things, I try to make some of the problems go away- but he gets angry and more issues end up appearing. I feel like I’m throwing myself into a sinking hole, and the harder I try to fight to get out- I end up getting dragged down further than before…”

“Then why don’t you leave?” Charlie asks seriously, her face impassive towards the alpha, “I’m not trying to be rude, but- if you think it really is a sinking hole here in the Winchester household, then why deal with all of the trouble when you can just simply walk away? When you can leave all of this behind and get on with your life?”

Castiel blinks at her like a reflex. He knows her intentions are purely logical, because if it were anyone else but Castiel getting asked this question, they already would have walked out the door. In fact, they probably would already have been long gone by this point. Yet, when it comes to Castiel, he can find no reason to let his shoes cross over that threshold knowing that it's going to be the last time he ever does so. If he leaves, he knows guilt will get the better of him- because why, in all of the times that he could have left, would he pick right now? When Dean is about to find out he can’t get money like he always could? That now things are going to be even harder for him? That if he has sex with someone it’s now going to be a life-long commitment- not some random fling? When every hidden crack is now showing through the emotional mortar?

Castiel can’t do that- no- not when he realizes that he can’t live his life knowing that Dean can’t have one anymore.

Well, _not really._

However, he does not utter it; he does not tell Charlie about his feelings. Nor does he speak of how he has come to care about Sam and Adam like they are his family. Instead, he dodges the truth like a bullet, barely escaping its deadly precision as it whizzes past.

“I can’t.” he whispers.

The answer simple- to the point- almost military in its entirety.

“Why not?”

Castiel sighs, because recently all he’s been asking himself is ‘why’. Over and over again like some broken record, and he hates it. He hates not being able to fix things like he wants- not being able to do shit like he’s supposed to.

He feels useless if he doesn’t do anything- like dead weight.

“It’s just-” he scrambles for a word close enough to the bottled emotions inside of him, to the things he can never let Charlie hear form from his lips, “complicated.”

Charlie sighs, her orange hair looking a little dim in the low lighting of the apartment, “It always is, no matter what…”

Castiel nods in agreement.

The beta leans off the wall, uncrossing her arms. She comes over to Castiel quietly, hugging him and causing the alpha to stiffen in surprise towards the unsuspected gesture. Her arms encircle him tight, her breaths wavering in strength on his shirt. He puts a hand on her back, gently giving her a pat to ease her emotions away. He doesn't even know what's going on.

“You’ve done so much for him…” she hisses out, already on the verge of tears and it’s only been seconds into this, “You’re like a damn _blessing…_ He was so unhappy before you showed up- so fuckin’ pissed at a world that didn’t care for him… He hated his job- hated how everyone treated him like fuckin’ trash whenever they saw him, and all they did was pay him for a quick fuck when he was willing… I’ve lost count at how many times he’d show up with bruises, or with bags under his eyes- and every damn time he’d fake a smile- would say ‘I’m alright’ or ‘don’t worry about me, I’m fine’. I just got so fuckin’ sick of it- of hearing the bullshit… He wasn’t fine- how could he be? He could barely afford to even get to work, to have Sammy and Adam in school- and all these fuckers just kept doin’ nothin’ but leaving him high and dry…” she takes a deep breath, Castiel too shocked by all she’s said, but as she looks up at him- tears rolling down her cheeks, more forming at her eyes- she begins to whisper the end of her well-deserved rant, “Except you…”

Castiel blinks at her again.

And apparently, she isn’t done either- “You took care of him, made sure he and his brothers had food. You cooked for him, made him feel more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him in my life, and you even bought him his damn Impala… I know how much that car meant to him, and how much it hurt him to give her away. He was depressed for the longest time- hated his replacement car- and I knew that was one of his biggest regrets- and it trumphed leaving high school early and losing his diploma and friends… You managed to give him that car back- and something else…”

“S-Something else?” Castiel stutters.

“You gave him a reason to stop selling himself out.” she wipes at her eyes furiously with her plaid shirt sleeves, “I know that he took a job behind all of our backs- but he took a bit of break before then. After you showed up, he didn’t take a client for a few days. I’ve never seen him do that- ever… Castiel- you’ve probably been the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him- and it pisses me off that he won’t notice it because all he’s ever known are douchebags.”

With that, Charlie stumbles her way out of the apartment, Castiel finding his shirt dampened with her frustrated tears from her frustrated confessions.

**…**

_Alpha._

Dean stirs to consciousness on the mattress within seconds.

__

_Alpha- he needs an alpha._

Dean hisses a breath, getting started even though he just woke up.

He groans into the pillows on his bed, sweat covering his skin like a fine sheen of mist, the air around him musty as his hips rock against the mattress feverishly. His fingers work quickly down below- but they aren’t enough- they’re never _enough._

Dean growls in frustration, pushing down harder in an attempt to fool his brain into thinking it’s not his fingertips that are present, but something else. It doesn’t exactly work. He snarls out loud, free hand balling up the sheets in desperation as he struggles to ease the ache in himself- the one in his fucking _soul._

__

“Dean?” Cas’ worried voice is muffled by the offending door, “Did something happen? Are you okay? I heard you growl...”

The omega falls off the bed, hand slipping out from its position- slippery, sticky- as Dean crawls over to the door. He paws at the bottom, already knowing that Cas had fixed the entryway to where Dean was locked inside. He would give Dean food and water, of course, and Dean’s bathroom was just a few feet away, but Dean didn’t care. He knows that- somewhere, deep in his mind, where the heat never touches- Cas is just trying to help. He’s just trying to prevent Dean from doing something he can’t quite put his finger on at the moment.

__

_Kind of like his prostate, if he’s honest…_

“Dean?” Cas asks again, still sounding concerned.

The omega whines, pleads without words to the alpha to come inside- to ease his unbearable heat- and he flips over and over on the ground like some dog would for a single taste of a treat. He’d be real good, he’d let Cas do what he wanted, as long as this damn heat went away- as long as he felt relief. The omega needs the alpha.

Dean whimpers at the thought of Cas towering over him, and he finds another wave hit him from the images forged by imagination, arousal in the omega spiking.

There’s the sound of the door moving, and Dean readily moves out of way so Cas can come in, but instead, he sees the alpha’s head peak around the wood. Normally, Dean would feel embarrassed at the fact he’s naked and is covered in a lot of fluids and sweat at the moment, but instead, he feels that it’s like an extra cherry on top of a sundae.

He purrs while presenting himself on the floor to let Cas know he's ready for him; trying to coax the alpha to step inside and take him. Instead, Cas looks away as quickly as he had turned his attention to the omega. Even with the door in the way, Dean can tell the alpha is blushing heavily.

“D-Dean!” he stutters, face hidden from the omega, “I t-thought you were hurt or something!”

“ _You_ can hurt me, if you want.”

Cas squeaks weirdly at the door, shutting it abruptly. This angers Dean, knowing that his chance with the alpha- at least for now- is shot out of the sky like an airplane in a warzone. All in all, his plan is going up in flames.

As Cas’ footsteps recede from the door with some speed, the omega howls in agony from being denied, and huffs a breath out as another wave of heat hits him without remorse.

Seems like his fingers will have to suffice for now.

 

**…**

Castiel tries to forget what he saw. All that he witnessed.

He tries to ignore all the inches of exposed, flushed skin now saved into his memory. How Dean looked so desperate for him on the floor, sprawled out and pleading for him to just even look at him. The alpha tries not to become aroused by it, pushing it far from his conscious as he can manage. It's a hard task as he hears Dean moan loudly from the hallway.

There might be several feet between them, but the walls here are thin, and Dean isn’t exactly quiet or ashamed about what he’s doing. The alpha can hear the omega panting, can hear his moans and frustrated growls, can hear all of the things he tells himself to try and get off.

It’s driving the alpha _crazy._

Yet, Castiel tries to forget and ignore- for Dean’s sake.

Besides, the omega has only a few hours left before it passes over, more than enough time for Castiel to rid himself of the strong desire to meet Dean’s breathless requests.

**…**

Dean’s eyes blink open lazily, the clock reading that it’s thirty minutes till three in the afternoon. He doesn’t remember passing out- just that he climaxed and that was it. Dean grunts into the pillow, the strands smelling of slick and heat pheromones as Dean’s face squishes against it.

He’s a little beyond feeling disgusted or caring at this point.

His body feels heavy- limbs weak, muscles sore. It’s like he was wrestling for hours on end with some large snake- and it managed to slither around him and squeeze until he felt the pressure in his bones and subconscious. The omega tries to move, finding that his body is unwilling to listen to him.

He’s just so exhausted.

“C-Cas? …” Dean calls out weakly, his voice scratchy and eyes half-lidded.

The alpha opens the door a few moments later, looking slightly relieved to find covers piled onto Dean now that it looks like his heat was over.

“Cas… what happened to me? …” Dean struggles to keep his head up to look at Cas, “Was I drugged or somethin'-" he pauses, "I wasn't forced into heat, was I?…”

Cas shakes his head, “No… you’re suppressants failed on you, Dean... while you were with Michael.”

Dean would run a hand through his hair if he had the energy, “Shit… Cas I-”

“Don’t start with it. We’ll talk about _that_ later.” he asserts, his voice stern as he speaks, but he softens as he continues, “How much do you remember?”

“A little…” Dean murmurs, finding his cheeks heating.

Cas nods, still standing in the doorway, keeping his distance respectively, “The doctor explained why your suppressants failed and you went into heat. He said it was common in prostitutes, so don’t go off on yourself and think you’re broken or something-”

“Cas.” Dean interrupts, “Out with it.”

The alpha looks down now- azure avoiding sage, “You can’t continue with what you were doing… The doctor said that because you were having so much sex, you frustrated your system by not mating as nature expected you to. So, in spite of that, your body decided to reject the suppressants and birth control to ensure that you mate.”

Dean blinks, “So basically… my body is telling me I need to go get bonded to some random person?”

“More or less…” Cas looks up slightly, his irises softened on Dean from what the omega guesses is pity, “Because of this, Dean, you can’t get money from sex anymore.”

The omega breathes wrong.

“ _What?”_

Cas doesn’t look all too shocked to the reaction, “Your body is forcing you into a position where the next time you have sex, you’re going to end up with that person for life, Dean. Suppressants won’t work on you anymore- no matter what type or brand- and birth control is practically pointless.”

“So I’m going to end up someone’s bitch?! I'm going to be barefoot and pregnant?!” Dean yells, absolutely pissed even through his fatigue, “I’m going to become some stereotypical omega because _my body_ decided to fuck me over too?!”

 

The alpha winces at those words, “That’s not what it means-”

“That’s _exactly_ what it means, Cas! My whole life I’ve been running from becoming someone’s textbook definition bitch, and next thing I fucking know, the thing I’m living in decides to betray me! I can’t even have _my own fucking body_ on my side, Cas! I’ve got the right to be mad about this!”

Cas shakes his head, his cobalt gaze never leaving the omega, “I never said that you didn’t have the right to be angry.”

“Your tone implies it-”

“Dean-”

“ _Cas._ ” the alpha quiets at the assertive tone, unusual considering who can pop a knot here if they wanted to, “Just drop it… I can’t- I’m not in the best condition to deal with this right now… I’m exhausted…”

Cas nods, looking away sheepishly again, “Is there anything I can get you? …”

Dean wants to ask for maybe a time machine- some magical totem or chant that can ship him back to when his body obeyed him. When maybe he didn’t have to sell himself at all- when maybe things were better. The omega averts his gaze to the mattress; but not because he’s embarrassed to be so weak that he can’t stand, but because of the stinging feeling in his eyes and the burning in his throat. The ones that are threatening to let droplets escape from his eyes if he doesn’t get control of himself quickly.

“Nah, Cas…” he murmurs impassively, the task of keeping his voice level and monotone difficult, “I’m fine…”

Even though both of them know by heart now that the statement is far away- miles off- from the truth, they believe it anyways, just for the sake of not having another argument because they're both tired. Cas nods and leaves quietly, gently cracking the door. It's a silent way of saying, ‘ _if you need me I’m here’_ , and it makes Dean feel even worse than before somehow.

He waits until he can’t hear footfalls anymore, just until it’s his ragged breathing pouring over his lips reaching his ears. He shudders against the sheets, smelling all of the past pheromones and fluids that the threads had to dry or had rubbed on them, and Dean can’t help but think they have one more thing to soak up.

Six tears- more than Dean’s ever let himself make- drop onto the bedspread. The omega bites his lip hard enough to draw blood to keep himself quiet, and as he tries to silently sob, he tastes the salty rust on his tongue. His chest heaves heavily, throat feeling as though cement were down it and he couldn’t breathe through the solid rock- and it hurts.

Just a few more seconds, and then it'll be over.

Done.

There should be more tears, more crying, more emotion than just a few moments- but it’s all Dean allows himself- it’s all he ever allowed himself.

Dean quickly wipes away the offending droplets with the back of his hand, placing a pillow over the small, damp dots formed from where the others had fallen down onto the sheets. Dean takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself before anything else happens.

He’s so close to letting it all go, and he can’t have that- he can’t. Sammy and Adam can’t survive if all he does is cry in his room all day like some annoying leech. Like some dead-beat omega John always insulted him of being. Dean knows that he’s done a lot, done more than some parents ever have or will do, and he still believes that the adjective of ‘usless’ is the best to describe himself at the moment.

Dean emptily chuckles to himself. If only he had a dictionary or thesaurus.

**…**

Castiel knows when someone has had enough.

He guesses it’s like a six sense for him- some sort of superpower, or as close to one as he could get. He can just sense when things have become a little too much for someone without really trying. The alpha has done it since he was a child. Whether it be the mailman who hated his job at the post office, or whether it be the woman at the flower stand who was tired of signing ‘I love you’ cards. Especially when she knew that the man who bought them was still cheating on the recipient the whole time as he bought them- trying to earn himself some feign sense of forgiveness.

No matter who it was- Castiel _always_ knew.

Just like how he knew Dean was about to explode.

The alpha sits on the couch, his cold coffee still sitting on the side table from where he’d left it hours before. He couldn’t sleep- and now he can’t even manage to finish a damn mug of Joe- all because he’s so aware of how fragile Dean is becoming. Seconds are becoming minutes, minutes forming into hours, and every single time that clock ticks, Castiel knows Dean’s resolve is wearing a little thinner. It’s threadbare- ready to come apart at the seams.

Castiel sighs, trying to calm the anxiety building within him, lingering like some apex predator about to snag its prey. He doesn’t want Dean to break down.

He doesn’t think he can even watch it happen- but as he knows by the scent of tears drifting down from the hallway- he knows he might just have to soon enough.

**…**

Dean steps out of his room later that night, still exhausted. Apparently, Charlie spoke to Bobby about what happened, and the two betas told Dean specifically to stay in the apartment and not strain himself until he’s better. Sammy and Adam are going to spend the night for a few nights with Charlie as Dean recuperates, and Cas is apparently supposed to take care of the omega like some nanny.

Well, he doesn’t particularly _enjoy_ the idea…

“Cas-” Dean shakes his head at the spoon of unknown medicine being brought to him, “I told you, I’m not swallowing that-”

“Dean, this is to help your body ease out of the suppressants, going cold turkey can hurt you physically or can have side effects we may not know of.”

Dean shakes his head, a dead chuckle escaping him, “You make it sound as though I’m on drugs, Cas.”

Cas pushes the spoon forth again, the omega batting it away like an uncooperative child, “You would have drugs in you if you’d only listen to me.”

“I don’t need them, Cas. I’m _fine._ ” Dean assures, standing up to put distance between himself and the stuff the doctor had said was supposed to help him.

He can do this naturally- all on his own- _without_ medicine.

There’s a small growl behind Dean that makes him pause in his tracks, “You can be so stubborn at times…”

Dean turns to look at Cas, “That’s just a part of my personality, Cas. I like to stick to my decisions, thank you very much-”

“Really? That’s all you’re going to do? Stick to your guns?” Cas raises an accusing brow.

“Don’t fuckin’ judge me, Cas…”

The alpha stares at him, “I’m not judging anyone. I’m just curious as to why you can’t accept changing your mind every once in a while. It’s not a bad thing to do, Dean. Especially when opinions or situations change.”

Dean grunts, hating that Cas can just outright destroy his opposition like it’s nothing at all.

“Just drop it, Cas.” Dean continues walking down the hall, his voice losing its venom, “I’m not in the mood to debate psychology in my living room…”

As Dean reaches his bedroom door, he hears a soft chuckle come from the alpha.

**…**

When Dean wakes again, it’s around one in the morning. He groans, twisting in the sheets.

Maybe that medicine would have helped after all…

Dean growls to himself, hating the fact that Cas was right- again- as he tosses and turns on the mattress. His skin feels hot, his blood feels like it’s trying to drag race itself, and he swears that there’s slick dampening his bedspread again.

This wasn’t… _fuck._

Dean moans into the pillow, finding his hips already grinding down in an effort to gain friction. It’s like having an itch that moves, and no matter how hard he scratches, the need always ends up somewhere else he can’t reach.

It’s fucking frustrating.

“ _CASSSSSSSSSSSSS-”_   Dean howls, trying to remember how to get off by himself- and he can’t.

“Dean?”

The omega falls off the mattress for the second time that day, dragging his comforter down with him as he slinks to the door. He claws at the wood, nails leaving literal marks in the paint as he whines for Cas to help him.

“Dean- what-” Cas stops in front of the door, and it’s a few seconds of pure silence before Dean hears a deep inhale, “Dean… are you in heat again? …”

“I don’t- _Cas-”_   Dean scrapes madly at the barrier between himself and the alpha.

There’s a pause at the doorway, “It’s not as bad as before… is it?”

“Hurts-” Dean manages, “but less. Still bad.”

_God-_ he sounds like a damn caveman- but it’s the best coherency he’s ever had during a heat… or whatever this thing is…

“Maybe if you take the medicine, it will help. The doctor said there could be some relapses now that your system is trying to regulate itself again.”

Dean snarls at the door, trying to snap its bottom edge as Cas opens it.

“Dean, you’ll be angry at yourself later when you have to replace it.” he murmurs, seeing how frustrated Dean is, all entangled in his blankets with sweat and slick-dampened pajamas plastering onto his skin.

The omega just glares at him from the floorboards.

In the end, Cas has to end up carrying Dean into the living room. The omega’s head lolls to the alpha’s chest with exhaustion as his surprise heat drains him of his already miniscule amount of energy.

“I’m going to get the medicine with a cold wash cloth, and I’ll come right back, okay?”

Dean barely manages a weak nod.

He lays on the couch, feeling like he’s near death as his rib cage moves up and down with his slow breaths. His eyes hurt from the strain their under, even with his eyelids closed protectively over them to try and fight off some of the sensations.

Cas comes over right when Dean’s about to pass out.

“Here…” Cas whispers, setting a cool rag on Dean’s forehead, “I’m going to lift your head a little…”

Dean lets Cas handle him like a damn doll.

“Swallow.” he instructs, putting the spoon to Dean’s dry lips.

The omega does as asked, drowsily licking up the substance into his mouth and swallowing just like he had been told to do. A purr, broken and uneven, escapes his chest.

Cas pets Dean’s hair, shushing him, “It probably does feel better now… Dean, why didn’t you take the medication when I told you to? This all could have been easily avoided…”

Dean looks over to Cas, giving a small smile, “I’m stubborn…”

Before the alpha can reply, Dean passes out.

**…**

Castiel watched as Dean’s eyelids flutter closed. He even makes sure that Dean’s breathing evens out to a slow and steady pace.

He’s sleeping now.

The alpha watches over to make sure Dean is okay, that there isn’t any other issues before he leaves this post. There’s a few minutes of nothing, and he’s about to get up when something stops him.

“Ca- …” Dean mumbles, and he trails off into his sleep without another word or fragment.

Castiel waits a few moments, “Dean?”

The omega doesn’t move or respond to Castiel, so the alpha sighs, standing up. He checks the rag, finding it warm on top of Dean’s skin. He had known when he carried the omega down the hall that he was feverishly hot- and even for a facade heat or whatever that was- Dean shouldn’t have felt that way against his skin.

He sighs, making sure to wring out the cloth and replace the warmth with cooler water, and places it back onto the omega’s flesh. Dean’s cheeks are still flushed, and his lips are a dark pink, two distinguishable red marks on the bottom one from where teeth sunk into the poor orifice.

Castiel will ask about how that got there later- but in the meantime- he’ll settle for tucking Dean in instead.

**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**


	7. If You Say You'll Love Me Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I took so long to update- I had EOC's and all of that recently, so I have literally been tested out of my mind.  
> With that, it meant that writing was a little bit of a tedious thing to do.
> 
> So- I wrote this today and tried my best with what brainpower I had left.  
> Sorry? ...
> 
> I have no clue when I'll update Positive, but I promise it'll be sometime this week- whether it be tomorrow or Friday- I don't know.  
> Also, I'm writing a huge one-shot that's a/b/o (of course) and werewolves, and it's coming along pretty well. It's at 16,000 so far, and I'm not even at some of the key points yet... Yeah, I know- I have a problem...  
> Other stories/ideas will be dealt with eventually, and now that school is almost done, I'll have more time to dedicate towards fic. However, I need to see if I have to do summer school for Alg. 2 (my teacher has ruined my grade most of this school year, and my teachers/superiors didn't listen when I said something was wrong, and I was ignored and now I may have "failed" the class... just- it's a long story, and overall it's not my fault. Just to give you a hint why- on the day I was taking my mid-term, she was my last test. I'd take her mid-term and leave to start my Christmas break. Literally, last second, she says she found a test I was "missing" and I needed to make it up. Yep. That's just the tip of this iceberg... Huh- guess that makes my grade the Titanic...).
> 
> Anyways, there's a little jealous!Dean in this, so I'm excited, haha.  
> Before you freak- this is just a plot element. Castiel isn't getting with anyone other than Dean in this- so don't set fire to your house or something...
> 
> Enjoy!~

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dean has lost count of how many times he’s felt low in life. In the gutter- raw- doesn’t matter.  He just knows that he’s been there too many times.

 

It shouldn’t be surprising that he’s there again, now.

 

Dean wakes to find Cas’ heavy trench coat over him, the tan fabric spread over him like some sort of shock blanket as he lays down cushions. Immediately, the omega feels out of place- like this coat should be even placed on his skin. He rips it off of himself, trying to keep his mind off of the fact that Cas set it on top of him as he slept.

 

“Cas?” Dean calls out, standing up off of the couch to sway slightly.

 

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel comes out of Sammy and Adam’s room, “Is something wrong?”

 

Dean sighs, shaking his head, “No, Cas… just wondering where you were.”

 

Cas lingers on his words, but goes back to whatever he was doing.

 

The omega heads into the kitchen, finding that Cas has already set out some food on the counter. It’s nothing special, just some regular sandwiches and chips, but it’s enough to settle the growling located in Dean’s stomach region. The omega ends up curled on the couch after eating, watching some random soap operas because nothing else is on, and he’s a little too tired to go channel surfing at the moment.

 

“I didn’t know you enjoyed watching things such as that…” Cas’ voice makes Dean jump with surprise, his eyebrows furrowed, “I never enjoyed these shows much. Their plots are very… trite.”

 

“Yeah, I know they are, but nothing else is on, so…”

 

The alpha sighs, sitting down on the couch next to Dean, picking up the remote, “There is more than just the channel, Dean.”

 

Dean looks down towards his lap, pulling the blanket he has over his legs up higher, “Sorry if I’m a little exhausted and didn’t feel like going through the whole TV schedule…”

 

“If you’re tired I suggest resting again.”

 

“I figured that’s what would help…” Dean mumbles, getting up from the couch, “Anyways- when do Sammy and Adam come back?”

 

Cas looks away from the television to look at Dean, his eyes softening slightly, “Until we’re sure you won’t have relapses of your heat. Your body needs to regulate itself before you can watch them again. We’re afraid you’ll go into heat while taking care of them by yourself.”

 

Dean bites his lip, “Oh- … okay then…”

 

The omega walks off to go into his room, hoping Cas didn’t follow him or anything as Dean shuts his door softly. He slides down against it in defeat. Tears slick his skin and cause Dean to feel as though the world around him were made of solidifying cement.

 

God- he can’t even see Sammy and Adam because of what’s happening to him. His body went rogue on him, and because of this, he can’t even do the one damn thing his moderately good at. It causes Dean to grab tightly onto his pajama pants, knuckles popping with the strain as he bites his lower lip to quiet himself.

 

Even though he is technically sobbing, no tears escape Dean’s eyes.

 

**…**

 

Castiel is off at the grocery store at the moment.

 

Dean’s current state of physical uncertainty has caused Castiel to become the caretaker of the omega, his apartment, and his brothers. The alpha doesn’t mind it, part of him enjoying the fact he’s taking care of Dean like he’s supposed to be, but he knows that Dean is not too happy about any of it. Dean has always been in the mindset that if he can’t do anything, he’s useless, even if his excuses are liable ones. It irritates Castiel to no end about how lowly Dean believes himself to be, even though Castiel holds him higher than any saint he may know by heart.

 

The alpha scans the shelves of the store with vague interest, mind wandering on about Dean back at the apartment.

 

“Huh- never thought I’d see you here.”

 

Castiel turns to see a very familiar face, and he tilts his head in surprise, “Balthazar?”

 

“The one and only.” he grins.

 

“I never thought I’d see you again after graduation… it’s been a while…”

 

Balthazar shrugs, giving a sly smirk, “Yeah, I know… I made all those promises of goin’ back to London and all, but… you can tell that worked out for me.”

 

Castiel chuckles lightly, thinking for a moment, “I thought you were supposed to be majoring in accounting or something-”

 

“I was, but that fell through for me…” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck, “I got a little tangled up with my professor at Uni and well… I got kicked out.”

 

The alpha shakes his head, “I’m not surprised, honestly. Even now I can recall that you always had a sharp tongue.”

 

“Always will! However, this prick deserved it- he was just a dumb bloke- tried tellin’ me that five times five was sixty-two, once…”

 

“I can see why you told him off.”

 

Balthazar sighs, “Yeah, but it’s all water under a bridge… Say, what’s goin’ on with you, Castiel? Did you ever go to Notre Dame like you wanted?”

 

Castiel pauses the conversation for a moment, looking down at the tiles of the grocery store, “I, uh- no… My mother passed away shortly after I graduated, and well… I never had the time to enact on my scholarship there… I guess you could consider it misfortune, but- I’m actually happy that I ended up not going.”

 

“I guess there’s small graces in storm clouds…” Balthazar murmurs, “Sorry about your mum.”

 

“It’s alright. She had her fill of life, so I’m content with it in general.”

 

Balthazar seems to look away for a split second, “So other than that, how is life treating you?”

 

The alpha shrugs nonchalantly, “I’ve been helping out a friend next door to me who’s having a rough time, he and his brothers have become like a second family to me.”

 

“Ah- ever the good soul, Castiel… Which reminds me, can you take a poor old beggar like me out for a meal or something?”

 

Castiel laughs, “You could just ask normally, Balthazar.”

 

“When have I ever done anything normally?” he asks, walking beside Castiel now.

 

It’s true though, in a way, because honestly- when has anything ever been normal?

 

**…**

 

Dean hears a knock on his door, and he gets up to answer.

 

His limbs feel tired from him not sleeping while Cas was gone, and his eyes feel strained from not having the tears they created leave. However, he still pushes through and pulls back his door to see Cas and someone else standing there.

 

“Oh, hi…” Dean murmurs, “I wasn’t expecting guests…”

 

“I apologize,” Cas gestures towards the man beside him, “but my old friend from high school, Balthazar, wanted to meet you…”

 

Dean rubs a hand on the back of his neck, “Oh- yeah, that’s fine I guess… I’m Dean.”

 

“Castiel has told me a bit about you… I have to say- I’m impressed that you managed to take of your brothers by yourself. Lord knows that was a strain in and of itself.”

 

“Yeah…” Dean mutters, standing back a little so Cas and Balthazar could enter, “It’s been a fun ride so far…”

 

The comment sets off an awkward silence, and Cas takes a quick glance towards Dean before he ushers Balthazar out of the way. In the process, Dean seems to find the scent of omega clinging in the air, and it forces him to bite his lips when a wave of hurt washes over him.

 

“Hold on, I need to fix something in my room…” Dean murmurs, and he escapes the current situation.

 

Dean escapes the situation, feeling nothing but his heart beat against his ribs, and he tries not to let anything go as he falls against the door.

 

 _Stop feeling…_ he tells himself.

 

However, the drop in his chest- this feeling of rejection- Dean cannot ignore. It hangs over his head like a storm cloud, raining down its acidic droplets into his brain until it flows into his blood- becoming a part of him. He probably seems like some stereotypical omega at the moment- fawning over an alpha who they thought would be theirs…

 

Wait- what?

 

 _Oh shit…_ Dean thinks, _Fuck- I’m in love with Cas._

**…**

 

Castiel stares at Dean’s door from down the hallway, and Balthazar whistles behind him.

 

“What?” Castiel turns, furrowing his eyebrows, “Something wrong?”

 

“Just- I don’t think Deanie here likes me…” Balthazar crosses his arms, face scrunching up in thought.

 

Castiel sighs, “Dean is a very reserved person-”

 

“Reserved?” Balthazar scoffs, “Look, Cassie, I don’t mean to be rude, but- I’ve seen him around before… On the south side…”

 

Castiel tilts his head, his face contorting in confusion, “South side? …”

 

Balthazar gives a smirk that doesn’t seem too happy, like he’s having to give someone he hates a smile because it’s polite to do so, “The bad part of town, Cassie… Drug dealers, child molesters, deadbeats- mostly prostitutes…” the last word falls off of Balthazar’s tongue like crude oil.

 

“Are you trying to imply something, Balthazar?” Castiel growls, his voice low, “If you are, I suggest coming outright and just saying it.”

 

“I’m sayin’ that Deanie here isn’t as proper as he looks… I bet he enjoys getting fucked by absolute strangers constantly-”

 

That’s all Balthazar can say before Castiel’s fist is flying into his face with a snarl, and the beta lets out a yelp of surprise. He lays on the floor, holding his nose from where blood drips out onto his hand.

 

“What’s going on-” Dean rushes into the room, noticing the blood and the anger settling heavily in the air, “oh fuck-”

 

“Balthazar was just leaving…” Castiel growls, “And, if he ever shows his face around here again, or uses his sharp tongue, I will remind him that his presence and comments are not welcome.”

 

Balthazar growls before leaving, his head tilted back to stop the blood from running all over his face.

 

“Cas, what in the ever living fuck did you do?”

 

Castiel huffs an impatient breath, “I will not let people like him degrade you in such a way, Dean Winchester…”

 

Dean blinks, “What do you mean ‘degrade’?”

 

“Balthazar likes to say very cruel things about people…” Castiel begins, his hands still balled up into fists at his side as he talks, “It’s one of his biggest flaws- and I have always remembered how he used to treat people in high school… He’d insult them, follow them around and tell them everything single thing he thought was bad about them…”

 

Dean snorts, “Sounds like a grade-A dick, if you ask me… but, Cas- that still doesn’t explain why you said he was demeaning me or somethin’...”

 

“He believes he has some right on judging people… Today, he decided he would judge you.”

 

“Cas-”

 

Castiel growls, and it silences the omega, “I will not let someone say such untrue things about you, Dean… I will not let them ruin your name because they have assumed facts about the man who owns it. It is not fair, for someone to judge you, when they have no idea who you are in the first place… Then again, I believe that is an issue with most people recently- they think people are like books, and that they can sum them up by glancing at the cover… Well, if years of being a bookworm have taught me anything…” Castiel turns to look at Dean, blue eyes soft, “it is that you cannot determine what a story is about until you have read its chapters.”

 

Dean stares at Castiel, blinking at him.

 

“There are two kinds of people in the world, Dean…” Castiel murmurs, taking a step closer, “Those who think they are everything, and those who think they are nothing… I have seen both ends of the spectrum, with Balthazar believing he is the equivalent to some god, while you… you think of yourself as the lowest anyone can possibly be… I don’t understand how you can think so lowly of yourself, when obviously you are the most amazing, kind-hearted person I have had the grace of meeting… Never in my life have I met someone as amazing and complex as you, Dean… No character in my books, no story I could ever read- could give me a single ounce of happiness like you can… Dean Winchester- you are the best omega, man, brother who is a father and mother to his siblings, and person I have ever known- and nothing will change that.”

 

Dean gapes at the alpha, his jade eyes widening with surprise. His chest rises and falls heavily, his exhales being the only sound in the space between them.

 

“Cas… Shit… It sounds like… like you love me…” Dean whispers, eyes watching Castiel’s lips with interest, and Castiel can’t hold it back anymore.

 

**…**

 

Dean suddenly finds a countertop pressing into his back as Cas surrounds him.

 

His scent is heavy and thick, wrapping around Dean like some sort of cocoon. The alpha’s fingers snare around Dean’s wrists, and Dean can’t help but moan at the feeling of Cas handling him.

 

“Cas- Cas- fuck-” Dean grips onto his shoulders tightly, trying to keep his composure even though they’re only a few seconds into doing anything.

 

“What is it, Dean?” Cas growls into his ear, his hands sliding up Dean’s sides to go underneath his shirt, “Is there something you want?”

 

“N-Need-” Dean feels Cas rut him up against his countertop, a moan breaking through his words, and Dean feels Cas’ hands greedily explore his skin- “Cas- need y-you-”

 

Cas purrs into Dean’s neck, his lips parting as he suckles the skin, teeth nipping slightly at Dean’s flesh, “Are you sure you want me? You don’t crave for Michael or those-”

 

Dean pulls Cas closer by the lapels of his dress clothes- damn alpha always being so formal and all- and wraps his legs around Cas’ waist, “If you think I want those assholes, then you’re wrong, Cas…”

 

“How wrong am I?’ Cas teases, his hands trailing down the side of Dean’s thigh, its grip possessive on the covered flesh, “How could I even know you’re telling the truth?”

 

Dean moves Cas’s forehead up onto his own, and Dean huffs a sigh before feeling Cas’ hands move up and down his spine, trailing over his shirt, “Do you really need to ask? …”

 

“I do…” Cas murmurs, “If we do this- Dean, there is no doubt that you will be mated to me, and the chances of you conceiving are high… That’s why I need to ask- because if we do anything, the results will be permanent…”

 

Dean shivers at the thought of Cas being mated to him- but in the good way- and Dean exhales in the heated air between them, “Cas- no one’s ever cared about me like you have… No one’s… no one’s ever given me so much time and effort before… You’ve done so much in the time that you’ve been here, and you’ve changed my life already, Cas… Sammy and Adam adore you, Bobby and Ellen approve- which is rare, let me tell you- and… Cas- I think… I think the only way I can ever repay you for all that you’ve done… is to give you love…”

 

“Love? …” Cas whispers, like it’s the secret of the universe being uttered in Dean’s kitchen, “Why would you do that? …”

 

“Because, Cas… That’s all you’ve ever given me- this whole time- different from everyone else because you gave me something different… Not money, not time, not your attention… You- you gave me your love…”

 

Cas inches their mouths closer, his words lingering in the air, “Different? …”

 

Dean nods, finding his legs spreading apart as Castiel slinks in further, his lips centimeters away from Dean’s, “It’s simple really… You earned my love instead of paying for it-”

 

Cas slams his mouth against Dean, all hot and wanting. Dean’s fingers scramble for something to hold onto as Cas flicks his tongue or the seem of Dean’s lips. The omega keens when he feels teeth snag on his bottom lip, Cas’ fingers dropping past the hem of Dean’s jeans.

 

“Wait- Cas-” Dean pulls back, eyes half-lidded and his breath in a pant- “we need to think this through before we do somethin’ stupid…”

 

“What do you mean?” Cas is obviously trying not to sound hurt, but Dean silences that worry with a peck of his lips.

 

Dean pulls away, letting Cas rest his head in the crook of his shoulder, “I’m saying-” Cas begins sucking marks into Dean’s skin, causing him to buck his hips and moan, “Shit- I’m s-saying that- oh fuck, Cas, right there- there’s things we need to c-consider before we do this…”

 

Castiel pulls away from Dean, eyebrows furrowed and lips flush, “Such as?”

 

“Sammy and Adam come into play- and this bond- it means that they’re going to become a part of your life now…”

 

“I figured they would… They already have, in their own ways.” Cas grins, azure eyes sparkling.

 

Dean swallows, “Well- that’s one thing, but… Cas- if we do this… you said- you said there was a chance that…”

 

“That you could conceive?”

 

Dean blushes heavily at the word, nodding, “Yeah- that… Look- I don’t- I don’t want to jump headfirst into that, okay? I want… I want to be ready for it… Like- I know for certain that I’m ready.”

 

Cas nods, giving Dean a bit more counter space as he breathes, “I suppose you have a point…”

 

“I mean- I’m not rejectin’ you, Cas, just… I don’t think it’s a good idea to be doin’ this without planning it out…”

 

“I know what you mean.” Cas gives Dean a quick, chaste peck on the forehead, “We’ll figure it out, I promise.”

 

Dean nods, “Alright… We will.”

 

**…**

 

Dean visits Charlie’s apartment downstairs, trying to process all that had happened to him within the past couple of hours, and he drifts around the complex like a ghost.

 

God- he hasn’t felt this kind of haze since- well, since he had sex for the first time.

 

Dean’s hand cautiously goes to his neck, the skin red and marked from Cas’ mouth and teeth, and Dean doesn’t feel the need to cover it up like the other “claims” he has received. Sure- there were a lot of eager alphas in Dean’s line of work- his old one- and they got a little too ahead of themselves sometimes… Dean had hated it, the way they marked him, the way that they bruised his skin like they were writing their name on his bones, and every single time he would always cover them up. No matter what, no one could know.

 

But this time… this time it was different.

 

It was Cas.

 

Dean’s fingers slightly tremble over his neck, his slow descent from the stairs coming to a halt as he realizes something. Charlie and Bobby had wanted this- had told him that Cas was the perfect thing for him, for Sammy and Adam even- and now look at him… If it weren’t for Dean being semi-aware of Cas’ warning and what it meant, then he would be upstairs, doing something… inappropriate- with someone he had labeled as his savior. It’s a lot of ground to take when you only realized you loved him that morning…

 

God- he’s so fucking slow sometimes, it hurts.

 

Somehow, Dean makes it to Charlie’s door, and when she opens, there’s no sound of his brothers making any mess or noise in her place- “Where’s Sammy and Adam?”

 

“They’re takin’ a nap… Seems like Revenge of the Sith took a little too much out of them today… Adam’s a good Darth Vader…”

 

“Yeah- he’s Adam’s favorite, even though I explained he was the bad guy… I don’t think it’s sunk in yet…”

 

Charlie shrugs, “That, or Adam just doesn’t care.”

 

Dean can’t help but give a light chuckle, “Yeah… I guess you’re right.”

 

“Dean… is something wrong?” Charlie leans on her doorframe, concern evident, “You seem… off-”

 

Of course, that’s when her eyes notice the mark on Dean’s neck.

 

Dean flushes, blurting, “I can explain-”

 

There has only been a handful of times Dean Winchester has ever gotten to see the fury of the one and only Charlie Bradbury. Once, when he was first moving in, when her neighbor decided that she was going to steal Charlie’s wifi pass code and pass it around the ground floor for torrenting porn- and second, when some douche tried stealing anything he could find in her apartment. Dean still doesn’t know where she got that crowbar… Anyways- the point is there- and Charlie does not get angry that often and Dean has never been the focus of her fury.

 

Well… until now.

 

“You son of a bitch!” she hisses lowly, grabbing his shirt by the collar and dragging him down to her eye level, “Did you just disregard what Castiel and the doctor told you!? God- you better not be fuckin’ bonded!”

 

Dean holds his hands up in a plea and form of self defense, “Charlie- I swear it’s not what you think!”

 

“Not what I think!? What else is that mark on your neck supposed to be, Winchester!? A fuckin’ bite from some asshole-”

 

“It’s Cas’!”

 

Charlie pauses, her face dropping its anger, and it’s blank for a moment to process Dean’s words.

 

“Cas… Cas did that? …” she asks quietly, staring at the mark as if in awe.

 

Dean shuffles slightly, feeling as though he were under a spotlight- “Yeah, Charlie… Cas and I… well… we didn’t do anything yet, but-”

 

Suddenly, Charlie is wrapping Dean up in a large hug, all of her fury gone within seconds.

 

“Oh- this is perfect! Bobby and I pushed for you two to get together for so long, and it finally happened! Ugh- it’s like Christmas!”

 

“It’s April-”

 

Charlie puts a hand on his mouth, “Dean Winchester, I can’t say this to you enough- learn to enjoy somethin’ simple before you start trying to make it all complex.”

 

Dean just rolls his eyes, licking the palm of her hand in spite. Charlie yelps, yanking back her limb and rubbing it furiously on her jeans.

 

“Dean- if you were anyone else- I’d deck you in the face.”

 

“Good to know I’m the exception.”

 

Charlie rolls her eyes back, smirking, “Anyways… Tell me all about what happened between you and Castiel now that you’ve decided to finally be rational-”

 

“Charlie, it wasn’t that bad when we weren’t together-”

 

“You two eye-fucked each other every day. Surprise that didn’t get you two bonded, honestly.” she murmurs, “It was like being in the middle of a well written porno.”

 

Dean raises an eyebrow, “Thanks for the comparison, Charlie.”

 

The beta shrugs, “What can I say? You guys were always one step away from the bedroom- I swear.”

 

**…**

 

Castiel goes over to Bobby’s workshop, a smile completely stretching his lips as he drives.

 

He finally got to kiss Dean- and not only that- Dean was willing to go through with everything, bonding and more than likely a kid, as long as he and Castiel were ready for it all. The thought makes Castiel grin as though his life depended on it.

 

“Why do you look so cheerful, son? Did ya get some headway with Dean or somethin’?” Bobby asks, wiping his hand on some mechanics rags as he walks over to the alpha, “Ain’t ever seen you smile so much…”

 

Castiel can’t help but grin wider, “Dean and I… I suppose we did move forward with things.”

 

Bobby blinks, then is smiling himself, “Knucklehead finally did somethin’ good for himself, for once… You two all bonded ‘n stuff now?”

 

“We decided to hold off on it, considering it would more than likely result in Dean getting pregnant. He wants to be ready for having a kid before we go and make one.”

Bobby nods, “Yeah, I guess I can agree with him on this one. You always got to be prepared on stuff like that… But, he isn’t usin’ it as an excuse or anythin’, right? Like he has cold feet but won’t say it?”

 

Castiel shakes his head, “No- he was all for it until I explained what having sex-” Bobby grimaces at the word, but lets it pass- “would do between us and for Dean. He didn’t seem to be scared or hesitant until I mentioned having a baby.”

 

“Yeah- Dean’s always been kid-oriented though, so I’m sure he’ll come around soon enough… That doesn’t explain why you’re here, boy. Good news and all, yeah, but I thought Dean would be tellin’ me this…”

 

“Well, that’s because I want to surprise Dean with something…” Castiel holds out an envelope, its contents making it thick and heavy, “I want you to fix his Impala as a gift.”

 

Bobby furrows his brow until he opens the package, seeing a large sum of cash, “Holy- Christ, Castiel- did ya rob a bank?”

 

“I own several, actually.” the alpha shrugs, “They were investments my mother made that seem to be paying off.”

 

"Damn- how much money do ya have?" Bobby is looking skeptically towards Castiel, face held in an expression of apprehension.

 

"Several million, I believe... I haven't checked it in a while. I believe it was at ten or eleven last time I checked."

 

Bobby's jaw just drops.

 

"What?" Castiel furrows his brow, "It's not that much, and taxes are a bi-"

 

Bobby just puts a hand over his mouth.

 

**...**

 

Dean sees Sammy and Adam later.

 

They're really happy- and they don't seem to be upset with Dean's body going rogue. They give him hugs and kisses and tell him to get better.

 

"I'll try..." Dean lets them out of the embrace, trying to fight away the guilt he feels.

 

His brothers need him- and he can't be there because of his damn body.

 

"When you get better, can Cas stay with us?" Adam asks innocently, his eyelashes long and curved as the kiss his soft cheeks, "He makes me feel like we're a family."

 

Dean's throat tightens, and he gives a slight smile towards his youngest brother, "Yeah... Cas is staying..."

 

"Good." Sammy grabs Adam and Dean and pulls them into one more hug, "Now we can be happy all the time again!"

 

Dean nearly bursts into tears.

 

In all of his life, he never thought he’d have to do anything like he had. No street corners, no late nights spent with strangers, no desire for some type of kleenex that cleaned up more than bodily fluids- but cleaned up his confidence and past. He never thought John would turn to the bottle, or that he’d become more of a drunk rather than a father. He never thought he’d have to sell himself by the pound to some unknown alpha for a few hours- rented, used, disgusting- and put back up on the shelf like he’d never been touched. His worth was based on how much alphas wanted him for the night, and his skin has been touched by too many unfamiliar fingertips and tongues.

 

But never- never in his life- did he think that Sammy and Adam were unhappy with him being unhappy.

 

Dean pulls them in close, and tears slip out his eyes without his permission.

 

“Don’t cry, Dean…” Adam murmurs, “You’ve done it too much already…”

 

Dean can’t help it, but he lets a sob out before he approves it, and Sammy and Adam just pull him into a tighter embrace.

 

“Let it out, Dean…” Sammy murmurs, “We’re here and we love you no matter what.”

 

Dean doesn’t know how, but those words make everything- from selling himself to sacrificing his Impala- worth every second.

 

**...**

 

Castiel helps Bobby figure out what they’re going to do with the Impala.

 

They set out a ground plan, deciding they’re going to restore the Impala to the condition Dean had it in before he sold it. Bobby is wary of the fact some parts will be expensive, and he warns the alpha of the price tag, but Castiel blows it away by saying the price is worth it. Especially when Castiel has an idea.

 

“You sure this is okay? Chrome can cost you a lung, boy…”  Bobby mumbles, going through a car parts catalogue.

 

“Of course it is… Dean wants to fix the Impala, but he feels as though he cannot afford it. I’m fixing it up as a present for him.”

 

Bobby tsks, flipping the page over to look at bumpers, “He may get angry at ya for it, ya know…”

 

Castiel sighs, looking up from the screwdriver he’d been flipping around in his hands and over his fingers in boredom, “I suppose the chance is there, but… I feel like if I don’t do something- Dean will always be unhappy… That’s why I spend all this money- why I give so much- it’s because I think that if I don’t, Dean will always be unhappy… If there’s one person in this whole entire universe that deserves to smile, it’s Dean.”

 

“You’re so whipped.” Bobby chuckles, grinning, “But it’s a good thing. It’s been a long time since someone’s given Dean a hand or somethin’. You’re like a miracle…”

 

Castiel remembers his conversation with Charlie, whispering, “So I’ve been told…”

 

“It’s true, son.” Bobby pats Castiel on the shoulder, “Dean was really unhappy before you came along. Alphas took advantage of him and his situation left and right- except you. You’ve been the first decent human being he’s met in years… You’re an angel, in your own right- you even saved him from hell.”

 

Castiel looks down towards his fingers, looping them over each other and twiddling them to have something to watch other than the beta, “I don’t feel like one… I just thought what I did was right.”

 

Bobby starts to walk away, looking over his shoulder, “You don’t understand, Castiel- that’s what makes you different.”

 

Castiel sits down in the chair, his thumbs stilled.

 

_Different..._


	8. I'll Get You a Diamond Ring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys- we're in the home stretch with this fic now.
> 
> There's good moments in this- and bad- and we finally see that breakdown we've all been waiting for from Dean right when you think things between him and Cas are about to get R-rated. But don't worry, they aren't going to be fighting, it's just going to be Dean admitting to Cas things he feels about himself and just their relationship in general- so be prepared.
> 
> Sorry for those who thought the road would be a little longer, but hey- we traveled down it together, and this was fun as fuck to write. It's honestly one of my favorite fics, and I especially enjoy how I captured Dean's angst in this. Whoo- enough bragging and stalling. 
> 
> Onto the story!
> 
> Enjoy!~

 

 

* * *

 

 

  ****

It’s a month after Dean and Cas finally came to their senses, and Dean is currently gnawing at his fingernails in an attempt to somehow quell his nervousness.

Adam and Sammy are happy because school is almost out, and it’s near the last couple of weeks of school. It means that they’re going to be around a whole lot more, and if Dean and Cas are going to actually mate soon- which has been some kind of unsaid tension between them, mostly sexual ones- then now would be the time.

However, Dean is sort of getting cold feet.

The omega supposes that most people get anxious when they’re about to make a commitment. Whether it be signing up for college, buying a home or car, mating to someone who’s given you everything you could ever wish for and more… it’s strenuous, to say at the least. He hopes that things between him and Cas don’t get royally fucked up with his hesitancy or worrying. Deep down, both the alpha and the omega know what the other really wants, but… none of them have the heart or courage to say it.

It’s kind of pitiful when you think about it.

Dean washes some dishes in the sink, remembering the night that he met Cas.

The alpha who had requested his “services” that night had been pushing him up against the wall, demanding a hand out- and then- there was Cas. He’d told the alpha to leave and he got Dean out of a quickly plummeting situation. Even after he found out what Dean did, he was okay with it and offered help. Rarely has anyone ever done that for Dean, ever.

It’s always been: “how much for an hour?” or: “do you take checks?” and sometimes even the illusive: “I can pay you back later, I swear.” bullshit that always ended up getting bleated into his eardrums. It was ridiculous, the amount of people that had walked in and out of Dean’s life that did nothing but take advantage of his dire situation. All except Cas- his alpha- his _mate-_ the one who saved him from having to go to jail or losing Adam and Sammy. The only person who ever told Dean that the reflection in the mirror _wasn’t_ something to be ashamed of- that its past was something that shouldn’t define it.

Dean sets a plate onto the rack of his dishwasher, sighing as he towels of his palms and fingers. He’s always hated himself for all that’s happened- for all that he’s had to do- and Cas somehow managed to make him feel like he did something good, made him feel better about it. He took calm words and gentle touches to soothe the infected wounds of Dean Winchester’s damaged self-worth, and managed to heal it and make it worth something again. The omega doesn’t know how it was possible, considering he always thought he didn’t matter in a lot of ways.

He was no longer a doormat, or a hooker, or a slut, or street trash, or someone’s paid-by-the-hour bitch, he was _Dean Winchester._ He is the father and the mother to his baby brothers, he is his own peer and adult when he needs help, he grew up when life demanded that he do it- and somehow, throughout all of the labels or possibilities, Dean has managed to become the most important thing in Castiel Novak’s life.

He doesn’t know how it happened or why, he’s just aware that the alpha is head over heels for him. If Dean were to call him right now, Cas would immediately drop everything and come. If Dean wanted to go to Florida on a whim, Cas would surprise him in his apartment an hour or two later with plane tickets and pamphlets to places they would visit.

The point trying to be made: Dean means everything and anything to Cas- and it’s about high time that Dean shows the same amount of love to the alpha in his own, very special way.

Dean steps out of the shower then, smelling of his special soaps and shampoos. His skin is almost feather soft, and his hair feels like an equivalent to silk. He dries off quickly and nearly skips to his room from his uneasy nerves, hoping to God he won’t die from stress before his plan is even set into motion.

Dean quickly rummages through his closet, hoping Cas hasn’t gone snooping in the past couple of weeks since he found out about his arrangement with Michael. The memory leaves Dean feeling a little sour, knowing that he upset Cas greatly with going behind his back and sleeping around- but thankfully, Cas seemed to understand that Dean prefers to do things himself, even if it meant putting out on the corners again. The omega sighs, finding the box under some bags of old sheets and worn blankets.

Dean sets a lingering hand on its lid, wondering if this is honestly the best idea when Cas seems to be okay with waiting. Thing is- Dean doesn’t know how many more seconds can pass without him knowing that Cas will stay.

Call it whatever you want- selfishness, coping, a fear- but know that Dean feels terrified when he thinks about the future without the alpha. Tomorrow doesn’t seem as good as today if Cas isn’t by Dean’s side. The omega knows this, knows that he’s being needy and clingy as hell, because if Cas walks away- if he leaves Dean… the omega will be at a loss as to where to put his foot next. Eating will become confusing. Sleeping will soon become insomnia. Thinking will become numbness. The world… it would become nothing.

Dean bites his lip, taking the lid off and letting the contents of the box see light for the first time in a while. The black fabric doesn’t look dusty or too bad, and Dean’s grateful. He’d bought this the day after he and Cas kissed for the first time, and he knew that _eventually,_ he would need it. Dean feels gratitude towards his past self, and quickly removes his precious garments out of the box to be set onto the bed.

The plan is a go.

Dean checks his phone, seeing a text from Cas lighting up the screen: _I’m working a few things out at the moment, and I will be home some time around noon._

**K.** Dean types out: **Txt me whn ur bout 2 get home. I hve a surprise.**

Dean is laying out some more clothes, trying to figure out what he’s going to wear, when Cas texts back: _A surprise? Should I be excited?_

**Idk do u thk u should b?**

Dean slips on his white tee, a v-neck that frames his collarbones and is slightly see-through. He knows Cas likes this shirt, especially from the eyes he was giving it when Dean started to rearrange his closet the other day for this occasion. Dean’s proud of himself for managing that, being sly and subtly showing Cas his clothing so he could see what the alpha responded to the most. The v-neck was the shirt of choice, and the pants were black skinny jeans. Good to know Cas liked tight-fitting clothing on him.

Dean quickly pulls his jeans over the main surprise, finding that there’s a smug look on his face when he glances at the mirror. Shit- maybe he could be a model if he tried? Nah- Cas wouldn’t fly for that. Any inch of Dean’s exposed skin was now his to see exclusively. Any cameras or eyes that didn’t belong to the alpha _weren’t_ allowed to see Dean Winchester anymore- it was just Cas now. Dean smiles at the thought, considering how many people have seen him naked, that now he’ll only lay himself bare for one man and one man alone. That man is Castiel Novak- the lucky, _perfect_ bastard.

Dean hears his phone vibrate, and he knows it’s about time.

He hurriedly readies himself, hoping to whoever is listening that his plan will not fail.

 

**…**

 

Castiel is driving to Dean’s apartment, a slow burn of excitement flowing through his veins.

Dean was planning something for him, and the alpha can’t help but wonder what the said surprise is. Dean’s been kind of lingering around their promise, the one they formed while Castiel was licking stripes up his neck as he sat on his kitchen counter. Castiel doesn’t know if the omega is planning on doing something related to that promise, or is just going to give him a platonic surprise when he walks through the door.

His phone buzzes with a reply from Dean, and Castiel waits till he’s at a stoplight to read it: **Im positive ur gonna like it cas.**

The alpha smiles, checking the light’s color before responding: _I already know I will. Can’t wait to see what you have planned._

Castiel puts his phone down and continues driving, ecstatic as he roams through the streets. Soon enough, his car rolls into a parking space outside the apartment complex, and Castiel can’t keep the smile he’s been brewing off of his face. He runs through the building, taking the steps at least two at a time, and ends up somehow in front of Dean’s door in a blur of adrenaline.

Castiel takes a deep breath, and knocks.

Dean pulls back the door, and his smile causes the breath in Castiel’s lungs to halt. The effect Dean has on the alpha worsens as Castiel takes in his attire; the perfect v-neck clinging onto his chest and the black jeans that are perfectly tight around his waist and loose at the calf muscles. Castiel swallows and tries to get his brain back online as Dean pulls back the door, his gaze and stature showing he knows how he just turned the alpha’s brains into scrambled eggs.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel manages to say without making himself look like an idiot, “You said you had a surprise for me?”

“Yeah, I do, Cas.” Dean steps aside for the alpha, “Would you like to find out what it is?”

Castiel nods, starting to look around the room for any tell tale signs: big boxes wrapped up with big bows, a table full of his favorite foods, maybe even a puppy that’s about to be pawing at his legs. Instead, he finds nothing but the regular theme of Dean’s apartment greeting him.

“Dean, I don’t understand-” Castiel begins to turn around as he hears the door shut, finding Dean biting his lip and looking towards the floor, “I see nothing that could be considered… a surprise- in normal terms.”

“That’s because what I’m about to give… most people don’t consider when trying to give someone something…”

Castiel tilts his head, confused, “Dean? …”

The omega seems nervous, extremely nervous, like all the confidence he had seconds ago was stripped away by his anxious fears and worries as Castiel wondered about his gift aloud, “I thought about what we promised each other, Cas… That day, when you kissed me and we put everything between us on the table and decided what to do with it all… I just- _fuck,_ Cas- I never thought I’d get this far with someone before… Never- in my lifetime- did I ever think I’d get a person like you…”

“Dean-”

“Just listen, Cas- _please…_ ” Dean begs, “There’s was once a time in my life where biology didn’t matter…”

Castiel watches as Dean leans more against the door, like his admission to the alpha is physically and emotionally draining him with each syllable.

“I thought being an omega was the worst thing ever- that the mating stereotype would never be me… I thought- I thought that if I _denied_ myself those things, that I could be happy. Happy because I didn’t become someone’s bitch and I wasn’t being bred because some asshole with a knot thought that was my purpose in life… I walked away from relationships- probably far too many over the years- and I promised myself that when I looked into the mirror, I would be proud of what I saw…”

Castiel hears the minute waver in Dean’s tone- the slight shift in his voice that threatens to derail the omega’s calm appearance. It isn’t until the smell of salty tears reaches Castiel’s nose that he realizes it’s too late for that.

“But I wasn’t… for the longest time I was- I was _ashamed…_ ” Dean wipes away at his face with anger, “I especially hated myself after the first night I gave myself up for Sammy and Adam… I came home, and they were asleep… Bobby had been watching ‘em and he just gave me this _look-_ and I broke down, Cas- I told him everything and I just- he looked so ashamed… I wished no one knew how far I had to go- how low I had to stoop so my brothers were okay…” Dean bites his bottom lip from frustration and in an attempt to quell his raging emotions, his teeth slightly breaking the flesh from the effort, “I remember after that first night… I went into my room and cried…”

Castiel feels a swell of hurt rise in his chest, and he furrows his brow and outstretches a tentative hand, “Dean, if you don’t want to continue, it’s alright-”

“I’m going to, Cas…” the omega murmurs, looking at him with reddened eyes, “I have to…”

Castiel decides that arguing with Dean will get him nowhere- that this is happening whether he likes it or not- “Why did you cry? …”

Dean’s hands tightened into fists at his sides, “Because I was disgusted with myself… I just- how many people have I given myself to, Cas? How much of the cash did I ever have to my name be from selling the body I walk in? How many times have I just given myself to anyone who waved the promise of a dollar my way?”

“Dean, stop it-”

Dean gets angry then, his scent shifting into a dangerous territory, “ _No,_ Cas- I’m not going to stop this… You need to know, okay- maybe _I_ need to know…”

Castiel takes a few lingering steps forward, his face molded into an expression of concern for Dean as he closes in, “Dean… what do you need to know? …”

“I…” Dean pauses, “I need to know why you love me…”

Castiel is taken back by those words, and Dean looks up as if the silence is the alpha’s answer.

“I thought…” he begins, but his voice falls flat and silent, “I knew I hoped for too much…”

 

**…**

 

Dean stares at the ground, tears blurring his vision.

He knew it- he _fucking knew it-_ this whole time he’s been strung along like some idiot. Like some damned naive child. His heart finds a place somewhere on the level of his feet, and his breathing becomes shallows as sobs begin to rack through his form without abandon. Castiel just stands there- utterly frozen and confused as Dean cries- and the omega just wants to coil underneath his bed sheets from the pain he’s experiencing.

“Dean…” Cas murmurs, but the omega wants none of it.

“Is that all I am to you!?” Dean yells, his voice in a mixture of agony and desperation, “A game!? Some type of fucking handout!? Was I just fooled from the beginning that I thought you cared!?”

Cas blinks at Dean, surprised and thrown out of his comfort zone at Dean’s outburst.

Dean gets into his face, a finger pointing accusingly at the alpha, “Was this all some type of fucking ploy for you!? To make me believe that for once _someone_ cared- that _someone_ gave a damn about me even though I’m never going to be good enough for anything but lying on my back!? Is that all this was, Castiel Novak- was it just some damn _lie_ to make you feel like a king while I fooled myself into thinking- into believing- into feeling that for once _something_ had changed!?”

Cas cups Dean’s face suddenly, and silences the omega with a kiss. Dean’s eyelids flutter closed, and Cas’ lips gently move against his for a moment before Dean begins to return the favor. The air between the two of them grows hot and heavy, and soon Dean’s back meets his door again and Cas is staring at him intensely.

“Dean Winchester- I have told you since the beginning, that my presence has never been here because of your misfortune. I do not care if you never repaid me in sex, or even if you never touched or looked at me again- as long as I know that you and your brothers are safe… I am content…” Cas leans in closer, eyes becoming half-lidded, “This was never about taking advantage of you and coming out on top… This was about an omega who hated what he was, hated what he did- and found no comfort in the arms he fell into at night… I do not care how much money has been inside of your wallet, or for its origins- I only care for the fact that you don’t have to worry about it anymore… I want you to stop worrying about all of those things, Dean… That’s why I’m here- to change things for the better because I care…”

Dean shakes his head, “But what am I supposed to do now? … If I don’t get money- then I’m taking advantage of _you,_ Cas… People will judge me if they know everything about us… they’ll think I’m some sort of gold digger that wants you bank account rather than your attention…”

“Then they’ll be wrong, Dean. So very wrong…” Cas murmurs, bringing their foreheads together, “For the short amount of time that I have known you, Dean Winchester, you have never given me an ounce of doubt or even some sign that you would ever use people… You always thought that’s what others did to you at every turn, and I know just how sick you got of it- of all the people that just just walked into your life and left you high and dry… I understand that you have sacrificed so much- more than I have ever expected someone to ever give up- without even considering how much pain it would cause you… If there’s one person who deserves this, Dean- it’s you… a thousand times over… it’s you…”

 

Dean feels Cas slightly lift him off of the floor, his fingers holding onto Dean carefully as he presses his body close, Dean whispering, “Fuck, Cas… how did I ever earn the right to deserve you? …”

“When you opened the door to let me in all that time ago…” Cas murmurs, and he kisses Dean softly again.

The omega moans into the kiss, his arms coming up to brace Cas’ form as his fingertips card through the alpha’s dark hair. Cas lifts Dean off of the floor till the omega’s legs are dangling around his waist, and Dean can’t help but spread them apart as Cas pushes harder against him.

“I’ve loved you for so long, Dean…” Cas breathes out, his words heady with his lack of oxygen, “For so fucking long now…”

Dean flushes into a bright red at that confession, and he swallows, his head tilted back against his door, “I know…”

Cas’ eyes wander around the exposed inches of Dean’s offered neck, and he smiles brightly. The strength of is more than when you look directly into the sun, a blinding sight that causes you to shut your eyes even though you didn’t want to look away. It’s something you want to see but can’t because it’s just so much to process- and the image of Cas smiling lingers on Dean’s eyelids like sunspots.

“I honestly have no clue why you would want me…” Cas is suddenly admitting, and it sounds so damn sincere, “There’s so many other options you can take-”

“Cas, stop…” Dean whispers, and the alpha listens, and his attention increases with every word Dean utters, “I just- fuck, Cas. Why would you even ask that at this point? Bobby and Charlie think you’re my savior over here, and Sammy and Adam love you to bits and pieces. Even then, you’ve given me shit no one has even thought about in years… You bought me my baby back- _my exact Impala-_ and you’re gonna tell me you have _no_ idea why you’re here?”

Cas looks away slightly, mulling the words over, “I suppose it would seem irrational…”

“Yeah, a lot of the shit we do or deal with is.” Dean drags his fingers down to Cas’ neck, slightly using his nails along the way, and the alpha is suppressing a low growl so Dean can continue speaking, “But that’s not the point… I just think that this is ironic, Cas…”

“Ironic how?”

Dean smiles gently, those too-blue eyes never leaving his own as they search for something- like there's unsaid answers formed within the woven and colored muscle fibers of Dean’s irises- “That you would admit somethin’ like that to me… It’s just- Cas, I’ve always been askin’ you why you’ve stuck around since this all began… Then, you go off and ask me why I want you here… I think we’re both just stubborn assholes who don’t think too highly of themselves in general.”

Cas smiles slightly, only a corner of his mouth rising as he nods, “I guess you’re right…”

“You _guess?”_ Dean snarks as he quirks a brow, “Dude- I’m _always_ right, what are you talking about?”

They share a small laugh together, but when it dies off, there’s a tension settled between them. It’s not a negative tension, or an awkward one, it’s the ‘we both want to take each other’s clothes off and _ravage_ the other on this floor right now’ kind of tension. Dean’s eyes go half-lidded without his awareness, and Cas slides a little closer against him. His eyes are traveling over Dean’s face and his skin, and the alpha subtly licks his lips hungrily.

“You haven’t told me what my surprise is yet…” his voice is low, gravelly in its composure and delivery, and Dean shudders slightly against the door.

“I…” Dean has to swallow- his mouth and throat suddenly dry as Cas’ pupils widen, the alpha’s eyes darkening quickly- “It’s, um… you’re gonna have to take my clothes off…”

Cas grins in a slightly predatory way that does nothing but leave Dean eager for what’s coming next, “As you wish.”

Cas’ gaze never leaves Dean as his hand drift’s to Dean’s waist, and the omega’s eyes dart down. There’s a soft growl from Cas as his fingers undo the zipper of Dean’s jeans, and his fingers roam around within the extra room. Suddenly, they dart out and Dean looks up in shock.

“Y-You wore… you wore the garter belt again…” Cas seems utterly flustered by his discovery, all of his allure and seductive charm lost to his surprise.

“That’s part of the surprise, I guess…” Dean sounds nervous- and rightfully so- “I, uh, was thinking about our promise… like I said earlier… and I- … Cas, I think I’m ready.”

Cas tilts his head out of confusion, “Ready? …”

Dean bites his lip, because of course _now_ would be the time Cas wants an explanation- “To have sex, Cas… I want- I want to be mated to you, okay? If a baby is a byproduct, then… well, I’m ready to cross that bridge if we get to it… That’s what I mean by ready, Cas… I’m ready to follow through with our promise-”

Cas is suddenly in Dean’s face, lips against his, and even if it’s just seconds into their touching, the air is quickly growing hot around Dean and his skin feels like it’s buzzing. Cas growls into Dean’s mouth, his tongue darting out to taste the seem of Dean’s lips as if its effect on his taste buds would be nothing but legendary. The alpha rolls his hips against Dean, slightly pushing him into the door with force, and the omega’s head is thrown back as a long, low moan draws itself out of his throat.

“You smell so delicious, Dean…” Cas hisses, his fingers greedily exploring all that they can manage to reach, “A-Are you in heat?”

 

Dean thinks about it for a moment, then shrugs because it doesn’t matter if he is or not- this is happening either way, “M-Maybe it’s like what the doctor said-” Cas rolls his hips again and Dean pauses for a second or two, maybe a minute- “I w-would go into heat whenever I tried having s-sex…”

 

Cas growls possessively against Dean's neck, grinding heavily against him now that Dean's pheromones are pumping out into the air around them. The scent hangs heavy in the air- sweet as if an apple pie were baking in the oven.

“J-Jesus, Cas…” Dean groans as he feels the alpha’s teeth scrape lightly against his neck, “You’re _teethy…_ ”

“Then you shouldn’t have made yourself look so nice…” he nips at Dean’s flesh, causing a low moan to form in Dean’s throat that escapes over his lips, “Dean… so beautiful…”

Dean chuckles, feeling Cas’ fingers grip onto his legs tightly as he holds him up, “You s-sound so cheesy, too…”

Cas just shrugs, and then carries Dean back to his room.

The omega finds fingers slipping past the hem of his jeans, dipping below the fabric of his jeans to find his skin and touch it. Cas hums against Dean’s lips as he grinds against him. The door to Dean’s bedroom flings open with force, nearly bouncing back as Cas rushes Dean onto the nearest piece of furniture. Dean moans lowly as he feels the dresser meet his back.

“Cas- h-hurry- _can’t_ wait-”

Dean silenced by a chaste kiss, and his eyelids flutter shut as he sighs happily. Cas removes his mouth off of Dean and returns his focus to Dean’s jeans, undoing the zipper and yanking them down the omega’s legs and off of his feet. Dean watches as Cas eyes return to his waist to see the black garter belt, holding up black stockings that stop mid-thigh. The alpha’s eyes hungrily stare, and Dean can’t help but grin and spread his legs for him to have room.

“Come on, Castiel-” Dean teases with an ire, his fingers playing with the strap on his left thigh, letting it hit his skin as plucks it like a string, “I know you want a lil’ touch-”

Cas is on him immediately, lips against his neck with the promise of soon turning into teeth, and his hands gripping Dean’s garter belt straps with a possessive vice.

“Who knew this w-was your kinda thing? …” Dean murmurs, feeling Cas’ hips slam up against his and it ends up pushing him against the dresser with a loud thump, “Would’ve done this s-sooner…”

Cas just growls, licking at Dean’s jaw, his deft fingertips quickly undoing Dean’s garter belt. The omega whines without thinking when Cas removes his touch so he can pull off the garment and Dean's tee. When Dean looks down towards his hips, there are marks being leftover in his thighs from where the latches pressed against his flesh. The thought of Cas adding his own touch onto the blank canvas that is his skin causes Dean to shudder.

“Cas- need you-” Dean groans, gripping the edge of the dresser tightly as a wave of heat rocks over him relentlessly.

The alpha doesn’t hesitate, grabbing onto Dean quickly and quickly rushing them over to the mattress. The springs in the poor piece of furniture squeak as Dean’s back lands on it, his jade eyes half-lidded as Cas comes to hover above him.

“Please, Cas- _please…_ ” Dean whispers, finding the need for Cas to even just look at him burning heavily through his veins as if the flesh were dried grass in a wildfire, and Cas’ gaze softens even through the heat-filled hunger- “Please… touch me, _please…_ ”

Cas brings a gentle hand down on Dean’s shoulder, and the omega hisses as it feels as though his skin is on fire. Dean throws his head back, giving a slow and long moan as he exposes his neck for Castiel.

“Dean…” Cas murmurs, and his clothes are suddenly on the floor, and Dean’s eyes wander over the expanse of newly freed skin, “Dean, are you sure? …”

Even in the most desperate of moments, Cas will always make time to make sure everything is okay- _perfect bastard-_ “Cas, I’ve been gettin’ myself ready for you to fuck me since this morning- I’m tired of waiting and I’m sure that I want this-”

Cas silences Dean with an adventuring finger down below, and Dean’s words morph into unintelligible moans, “Dean, this is _more_ than just sex… This is _mating-_ this could be starting a _family_ together, Dean…”

“I’m sure…” Dean rocks against Cas’ finger- now ‘fingers’ as Cas adds another- “I don’t mind if I have to spend the rest of my life with you, okay? If we get a kid out of it too, then fuck it- might as well, right?”

Cas smiles, but then it falters slightly, “Dean… do you mind if I give you a surprise of my own? …”

Dean’s breath stutters as it becomes three digits- “S-Shoot, Cas…”

“Would you- …” Cas takes a deep breath, “Would you marry me?”

“You’re gonna ask me when we’re having sex for the first time while I’m in heat?”

Cas suddenly looks flustered, “I, uh- I suppose the timing is not the most appropriate-”

“Come here, you idiot…” Dean murmurs, and he snakes his arms around Cas’ neck and brings him down to his level, the alpha’s fingers still present down below, “I love you, okay? I’m sorry it took so long and for us to go through a lot of bullshit for me to realize and say it, but he we are. Of course I’ll get hitched to you.”

The alpha smirks, and suddenly his fingers are gone, causing Dean to whine at the loss before the digits are replaced with something else. Dean’s head thumps against the pillows as he throws it back as he groans- because _fucking finally-_ and Cas rolls into him.

Dean grips onto Cas tightly, his eyes shutting at the sensation that he’s feeling.

It’s like some puzzle piece has fallen into place- that something lost just found its way home- that something clicked back into where it was supposed to be. It feels like a bolt of lightning has been slowed down, spreading from his waist to everywhere else in a crucial pace- as if going any faster would cause Dean to just fall apart. The electric feeling snakes its way up his nerves and into his chest, pooling there somewhere alongside his ribs.

“Shit, Cas-” Dean gasps, holding onto his mate tightly- “fucking hell…”

Cas grunts, coming down to rest his face in the crook of Dean’s neck, “This feels… _strange-”_ even with his confession, Cas doesn’t stop his hips.

“Remember what…” Dean pauses so he can grunt a little bit and catch his breath, “the doctor said?”

“So this is… mating?” Cas asks, and he seems so lost and innocent that Dean can’t help but grin, considering Cas is having sex with him at the moment.

“Yeah, Cas… this is mating.” Dean gives a warm smile, and for once, it doesn’t feel forced or fake.

Cas grins back with just as much softness, and he kisses Dean gently, “Well, it’s better than I thought it would be…”

Cas hips snap forward just right- and Dean loses himself in the sensation. Cas seems to enjoy the omega's reaction, and repeats the action again, only to have Dean clench around him and gasp out his name. He does this again, and after a few more thrusts, he and Dean are over the edge. The omega pants, slowly pushing against Cas as he comes down. Cas breathes heavily against Dean’s neck, his teeth leaving the skin and Dean wonders when they had even gotten there. Dean shudders for a moment, feeling his high turn into a mellow feeling that rings in his chest. This is best afterglow he’s had in years.

“Was that good, Dean?” Cas whispers, sounding as though this is an out-of-body experience for him, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, Cas, you didn’t.”

Cas gives Dean a chaste kiss, “Alright, that’s good… I thought I did something wrong and I was just worried about you. I didn’t want to do anything that would cause you discomfort. I’d never let it down if I did…”

Dean smiles, but then goes serious, bringing Cas’ forehead to his own as he breathes out, “God, Cas- I fucking love you…”

“I know.”

Dean can’t help but smile back.

**  
  
  
**


	9. I'll Be Satisfied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it to the end... darn.
> 
> This fic was really fun to write, and I'm kind of sad to see it go- but all good things (even bad) must come to an end.
> 
> There's some smut in here, but it was rushed so you guys could have all of the loose ends tied up before anything else. There's some fluff- and a surprise.  
> Goodie.
> 
> Thanks for riding this roller coaster with me! It was fun!  
> I hope it isn't too cheesy for you guys...
> 
> Enjoy!~

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Dean shifts awake on the bed, a huge smile plastered on his face- especially with the arms that wrap around him.

It’s been a month or so since Dean and Cas mated, and both the alpha and the omega are really happy with how things are going for them. They had even pulled Sammy and Adam aside, and they were both excited that Cas was going to become a permanent resident in their lives. Bobby and Charlie were about as happy as a duck on water- and they gave Dean looks of pride- because for once, Dean did something good for himself.

“You think it’s time?” Dean asks quietly, glad that Sammy and Adam are with Charlie- they started acting out Star Trek and they begged to spend the night to finish up- “I don’t know if a month is early enough to know, but…”

“You just want to be sure.” Cas finishes, “I suppose it would be good enough…”

Dean flips over, finding those perfectly blue eyes already on him, “Are you nervous, Cas? …”

Cas blinks, his face normal for when Dean expected it to be molded into shapes and positions of fear, “Maybe, but most people would be in this situation. What about you, Dean? Are you nervous?”

“I guess…” Dean’s eyes linger on Cas’ lips for a second, then they move up to find Cas’ pupils dilated, “But I’m ready for what life throws at me…”

There’s a bit of shuffling, and soon, Dean is straddling Cas’ lap as the alpha says, “Really? I thought there would be more hesitancy from you-”

Dean rolls his hips, smirking as he gauges Cas’ reaction to his movements, “Nah, I’m ready if you are.”

“Then lets get our clothes off because I’m ready now.”

Dean laughs at Cas, and then he proceeds to shuck off his pajama pants and boxers as his mate does the same- but their bodies never leave the other’s- “You’re so fuckin’ horny now, Cas- what happened to my innocent angel?”

Cas replies with rolling his hips up into Dean, causing a low moan to escape the omega- “I found out that there’s a certain person named Dean Winchester who makes me feel like a pubescent teenager.”

“Wow-” Dean laughs, “nice description. Good to know I’m not only bringin’ sexy back, I’m also givin’ you puberty symptoms, too.”

“I would disagree, but…” Cas sighs, blushing slightly- which he never really does- “I would say that my libido and lasting time have…” he pauses, bitting his bottom lip slightly, then he lets it go to speak, “ _drastically_ changed in minutes…”

Dean smirks, “I don’t know if I should care that you had your lasting times in your head figured out enough to tell me the difference, or if it’s because I changed them.”

Cas ponders for a moment, “Both?”

Dean just rolls his eyes playfully, rolling his hips over Cas’ again because seriously- he feels like a teenager in that way too… However, that doesn’t mean he’s gonna admit it.

Cas grips onto Dean’s hips as the omega sinks down, both of their mouths falling open and low moans escaping them.

“Shit, Cas- _move-”_ Dean gasps out, his fingers tightening on the sheets and turning white from their vice on the fabric.

Cas eagerly thrusts upwards, and Dean’s chin falls to his chest from the sensation, and he pushes back against Cas as they move in unison. Dean feels Cas’ hands snake up his sides, causing goosebumps to rise all over his skin as the alpha’s fingertips roam over the omega’s heated form.

“Dean…” Cas groans, and the omega grinds down hard as a response.

It’s a few more minutes before Dean stills on top of Cas’ chest, completely spent and relaxed on top of Cas' chest, letting the alpha’s finger trace constellations into his spine. Dean lets a heavy breath escape his lungs- as if maybe he’s been holding onto it for years because he never had the time to even just simply exhale. Cas’ skin is warm against Dean’s, and it’s comforting.

Sadly, comfort is something Dean hasn’t felt in a long, long time.

“I don’t know what I did to get you…” Dean murmurs into Cas’ neck.

“You didn’t have to do anything…” Cas replies softly, brushing some of the strands of Dean’s sweaty hair around affectionately, “I would have come to be with you either way.”

Dean chuckles lightly, “God, you’re so cheesy… I love it.”

The alpha rolls his eyes playfully, and pecks Dean’s lips a moment more. Dean chases back after him, not being able to get too far considering he and Cas are still tied down below, however- he manages it well enough. Cas groans softly into Dean’s lips, his tongue flicking out to seep in between the reddened flesh to lazily taste the inside of the omega’s mouth. Dean’s eyelids flutter shut for a millisecond, allowing Cas to sit up a little more against the headboard of the bed. The new angle causes Dean to sink further onto his mate, and a whine escapes him as Cas kisses his neck lightly.

“So perfect…” Cas gently whispers into the curves of Dean’s collarbones, his fingertips still drawing and mapping out the stars on the omega’s back- the fingertips chasing the lines with touches that are feathery and light.

“Cas…” Dean exhales once more, slightly pushing his hips downwards in a pursuit of another climax- “God _fuck-_ …”

Cas shushes Dean softly before chastly kissing his lips- “Careful, Dean… I don’t want you to hurt yourself…”

“I’m past that point-” Dean grunts heavily, “Cas, _please-”_

Cas reassures Dean that he will comply silently by pecking the omega’s forehead, “Relax, Dean…”

Without warning, the alpha moves his hips upward, causing Dean to cry out and grasp onto his mate with all of the force his fingers can muster. After a few moments of heavily breathing, Dean remembers how to speak English.

“Again.” he growls.

Cas chuckles, complying to Dean’s wishes for the next couple of hours until Dean is so sensitive that he goes over the edge with a single touch.

“I love you, Dean…” Cas kisses the omega’s temple as he shudders for maybe the tenth time in the past thirty minutes.

“L-Love you too, C-Cas…” Dean stutters back, utterly spent.

If he didn’t catch- then he’s got to be infertile. At least the sex was damn good.

 

**…**

**  
  
**

 

Dean is a little sore from their previous activities when Cas decides to take him out somewhere as a surprise.

“So, where are you takin’ me hotshot?” Dean has a smirk on his face as he speaks, wondering what Cas has in store for him.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?” Cas counters, Dean playfully glaring at the alpha from his seat.

“You ass.” Dean laughs, “Oh come on, give me a hint at least.”

Cas smiles warmly, “Well, there’s one place we need to visit before the grand finale.”

“Finale?” Dean echoes, “What is this, a TV show?”

Cas shakes his head, “No… but I do feel like sometimes I am living in one… Oh well, it’s probably something in my head or, I dunno.”

Dean just laughs at his mate- and then laughs at the fact he can finally call Cas that. Enjoy the little things, they always say.

 

**…**

 

When they arrive at the first surprise, Dean has a buzz in his chest.

It’s been a long time since he’s been able to feel excited, and recently, with Cas by his side- he can say it’s becoming a constant feeling. Maybe he’s excited for the ability to relax for once, maybe for getting to stop selling himself out, or maybe just from wanting this new future with Cas- Dean isn’t sure. However, he’s kind of happy he isn’t, because it’s better to be confused over what makes you happy than not feeling that way at all.

“Alright, Dean- I’m going to cover your eyes, is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Cas’ hands come to drape over Dean’s eyes, and the omega lets out an unsteady breath as his sight turns to complete blackness. Cas chuckles, especially when Dean figures he can feel his eyelashes fluttering back and forth nervously against his palms.

“It’s a short walk, I promise…” he reassures his mate quietly, and Dean settles a little bit from the words.

It’s a minute or two of walking blindly by Cas’ guidance, and suddenly, they stop. Dean exhales one more time, trying to calm the heavy beating in his chest as Cas kisses the back of his neck chastely.

“Okay, I’m going to remove my hands-” Cas kisses Dean’s hairline one more time for good measure, “and then you’re going to see…”

Dean hesitates for a moment, “See what? …”

Cas chuckles, but he does not answer Dean’s question.

Dean breathes in deeply, trying to calm his nerves as Cas’ hands slowly slip away like a veil. Dean’s eyelids remain shut for a few short seconds, and when the light expanse of flesh moves upwards- Dean can’t help but gape and cover his mouth.

There, lying in the middle of Bobby’s garage, is a fully remodeled 1967 Chevrolet Impala. _His_ Impala-

“Oh my fucking god!” Dean chokes out, a tear or two slipping down his cheeks, “Oh my god- Cas you fucking fixed her!”

Bobby laughs off to the side, his arm on Charlie’s waist. Adam and Sammy are laughing and jumping up and down giddily as they gauge their older brother’s reaction to his present. It’s so surreal.

Dean runs up to his baby, running his hands over the smooth expanse of black and polished metal. His baby looks completely brand new- as if Cas went and got a time machine to retrieve her fresh off of the factory line- and Dean weeps because of how lucky he is.

Dean’s always been unlucky- has always gotten the shortest straw that was among the haystack. The weakest- the last one in line. He never really had much to his name other than a drunken, useless father and two little brothers who needed him as their parents instead of a sibling. He’s never gotten his high school diploma, never got to earn a dollar innocently in his life. He was a jean-clad loser, one who survived off of very few handouts and prostitution. So, it comes as a shock to him to see just how much better off he’s become in only a month or two.

He went from praying that tomorrow wouldn’t cause him anymore trouble to actually looking forward to the new dawn. He went from sleeping in a cold bed by himself or with strangers to having a certain pair of arms wrap around his waist lazily at night. He went from standing on a corner, selling himself to the highest paying alpha, to only find himself getting pleased over and over by his mate alone.

For a boy who used to _dream_ of having a good life- of having a secure future- he has come so far. He has triumphed over tragedy and hardship to find himself here- inside a room with a family he made all on his own, smiling and cheering for him because for once the smile that is plastered on his face is real. They saved him from overbearing and obsessive alphas, they saved him from turning into John- buried down miserably into the nearest bottle- and they saved him from a jail cell with his name on the front of it. They have done so much for Dean, they have given and sacrificed so much for him- all so he can be here in this tiny little self-owned garage, so he can literally sob over a car he’s missed for years.

However, if there is one person who truly got him here- that truly gave him comfort and happiness- the one who truly made the smile on his face become real- it’s Cas.

It seems funny when Dean remembers when they met. He’d been flushed, reddened by a stranger’s lips. He was absolutely nervous about the alpha taking advantage of the situation and him, or for the alpha to run to the nearest phone and call child services. He was worried that every single thing he’d ever fought for was going to be lost because this alpha would use him just like everyone else did.

However, Cas didn’t, and Dean is so grateful that he wasn’t like the others.

Dean lets his fingertips slide off of the cool metal, and his eyes drift up to look at the alpha grinning at him. He leans against the doorway of the garage, his hands burrowed somewhere within his trench coat pockets. When he notices Dean is looking at him, his smile becomes warm and soft, and his blue irises turn affectionate. Dean’s breath rushes out at the simplicity of the look- and the complexity that it makes him feel. Just one look, and it means the world to Dean, because it means that he is the world to Cas. Dean finds himself running over to the alpha, and his arms envelope him in a tight embrace, and he sobs into Cas’ neck.

“You… you…” Dean tries to get out- tries to say everything and anything he can to show just how grateful he is to have the alpha by his side- “fuck…”

Cas holds Dean gently, his voice just as caressing, “Dean, it’s okay.”

“No, I- I-” Dean pulls back slightly, shaking his head, “you’re so _perfect-_ and I’m not- and I don’t know why you’re here with me-” Dean chokes on a breath, but recovers quickly, his voice shaky- “and I’m just s-so _lucky_ to have you!”

Cas’ smile grows, and he pecks Dean’s lips, his forehead, and then his cheeks where the tears are still falling, trickling over the omega’s skin. Dean coughs a couple of times, trying to regain himself and some composure before he combusts or falls apart in a fit of tears. He doesn’t know why he’s so emotional- okay, maybe he _does_ know a little bit- but even then he’s never gotten so.. teary, before.

“I don’t k-know what got into me…” Dean rubs at his eyes, trying to figure out how to breathe evenly as Cas just waits for him patiently- like he always does- “S-Sorry…”

“It’s alright for you to be emotional, Dean.” Cas assures, and the omega gives him a sad smile.

Dean sighs, “Yeah… I know…”

The omega turns to face his Impala and his friends and family, and he blushes when they all give him this knowing look- and Sammy and Adam are even in on it. The omega furrows his brow in confusion.

“W-What?”

Everyone laughs then, but Dean just joins them. The vibration of it feels good in his chest, and it’s the lightest he’s ever felt in years.

 

**…**

 

Dean’s eyelids flutter shut and open every few seconds as Cas drives the Impala down the highway.

“Mmm, Cas…” Dean mumbles tiredly, “Where we goin’?”

“It’s the main surprise, Dean.” Cas smiles, “I had a few friends who owed me a favor or two, so I called them and asked if I could cash in.”

Dean is so tired, he doesn’t realize what he’s saying until it slips out, “They weren’t rude were they? I _hate_ rude people…”

Cas chuckles at the omega, but shakes his head, “No, Dean. When I explained that I was trying to give you a gift, I told them a little bit about you and what you’ve done. As soon as I explained that I was trying to make you happy- they said that I didn’t even need to worry about the favor.”

Dean sits up in his seat then, glad to hear the crinkle of familiar leather against his back, “So they pity me?”

“No, they don’t pity you, Dean.” Cas glances towards his mate, “They respect you.”

“Respect?” Dean echos groggily, “Huh, never woulda guessed that.”

Cas snorts lightly, “Just rest, Dean. We’ll be there in a bit. Until then, you can get some more shut eye if you wish.”

Dean mumbles a thank you, and closes his heavy eyelids to let sleep take him.

 

**…**

 

Dean is awoken by the sound of his baby’s engine getting cut off.

He blinks away sleep, sitting up in his seat and stretching. He looks around, finding that they’re in some sort of garden. It’s dark out now, and the plants looks nearly black as Dean yawns.

“Where are we, Cas?” Dean asks.

“We’re arriving at your surprise.” Dean looks over to see Cas dressed in a tux, all clean cut and fitted- “I let you sleep for a little longer than promised.”

“How long?”

“About thirty minutes. Don’t worry, I kept the car on for you.”

Dean nods sleepily, “I noticed… Cas, what are we doin’?”

The alpha has a knowing smile, and Dean wonders what’s going on, “Just get dressed in this, Dean. Trust me, you’re going to like this.”

Dean gives Cas a look, but he follows along anyways. The omega looks towards the suit placed in the alpha’s hands. It looks brand new, and going by the weaving and condition of the strands Dean guesses that the garment isn’t exactly cheap- however, he takes it anyways. Cas smiles and nods, allowing Dean to have privacy to change. The omega chuckles at that, because even though Cas has fucked him and already seen him naked many times, he’s always a proper gentleman.

Dean’s in and out of his clothes and the suit in a few minutes. When he steps out of the Impala, the suit is comfortably contouring to his form, and he smiles. Cas must have gotten this specifically made for him as a surprise, tailored and sewn to certain numbers so the suit was his and his alone. When Dean’s eyes look up to meet Cas’, they’re watching him affectionately as the alpha smiles.

“You look beautiful, Dean.”

Dean blushes even though they should be beyond this kind of cutesy crap already, “T-Thanks… You look good too.”

When Cas raises an eyebrow, Dean rolls his eyes.

“Shush, it’s the best I could come up with on the spot, you asshat.”

Cas just returns the eye rolling gesture and locks the Impala, “Come with me, Dean… It’s time that we begin the surprise.”

“Wait… begin-” Dean is cut off as the alpha drags him along.

With a grunt, Dean begins to follow his mate through the winding plants and flowers. He feels like a teenager sneaking out his house or something, and the slight absurdity of this makes him laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Cas questions him quietly, “This doesn’t seem… _bad,_ to you, does it? …”

Dean would joke around if there wasn't the actual sound of concern in Cas’ voice, so instead he goes with the serious route, “No, Cas. I’m just laughing at the fact we’re sneaking through a garden is all… It’s not bad, just… humorous.”

Cas nods, “Okay then, I was a little worried that you weren’t enjoying this or thought it was stupid…”

“Why did you think that?”

Cas however, doesn’t answer him outright, “You’ll see soon enough, Dean.”

The omega doesn’t feel satisfied with the answer- but hey- this _is_ a surprise, right?

They come upon a clearing then, and the plant life separates to form a small circle with a path leading off somewhere as the couple steps into it. There’s a few candles around, and Dean wonders if they’re scented or he’s smelling actual roses around him- either way, he enjoys it nonetheless. Cas then clears his throat, and Dean faces him to give his attention to the alpha.

“Dean Winchester, when I met you, it was not under the best circumstances-”

“You can say that again…” Dean comments, and despite the interruption, Cas chuckles.

“However, I still found myself amazed with who was before me.” Cas smiles with that fucking warm grin of his- one that makes Dean’s skin heat and his knees slightly weak- and the alpha goes on with his speech, “As the days went on, you allowed me to seep into your life slowly-” Cas begins to trace Dean’s hand with his fingertips, “and inch by inch, I found myself falling for you with every second that passed.”

Dean remains silent.

“I used to believe that finding my mate was something I would never do, that I was simply never meant to be happy.” Cas lifts Dean’s left hand, “But somehow, I managed to find you.”

Dean feels blush paint his cheeks, and he watches as the look on Cas’ face turns the most affectionate he’s ever seen it, “Dean Winchester, there is no one, not even a single thing in this whole universe that makes me feel the way I do when I’m with you. If I could be given everything in the world, and I would still be miserable if I didn’t get to be by your side. It’s simple, Dean Winchester, yet it is so complex- and in many ways, I find myself unable to express with syllables and words how much I have found myself to love you. Utterly, and completely, I have fallen for you.”

Dean’s heart beats heavily in his chest, and the organ only jumps against his ribs as Cas plants himself down on one knee.

“I know I’ve already asked you, Dean…” Cas whispers, his eyes averted to the cut grass below, “But I wanted to do this properly, I wanted to try and show you with all of my being how much I care about and want you… So… Dean Winchester, even though you have already given me an answer, I ask again… Will you marry me?”

Dean breathes out, and in, and he replies, “Yes.” and his voice is so quiet from shock that he’s unsure if Cas even heard him.

However, apparently he did, because the alpha looks up with the damn smile and he slips a ring onto Dean’s finger gently.

Lights suddenly turn on above Dean’s head, and the omega slightly jumps at the fact he can now see that the path that leads them off somewhere is covered in a roll of cream carpet. Dean looks towards Cas, raising a questionable brow as the alpha stands up.

“ _This_ is your surprise, Dean.”

Dean is about to ask what the means when Cas loops their arms together. He takes a second to break off a few of the flowers nearby and hands them to Dean. The omega takes them carefully, realizing that they’re red roses as Cas begins to walk him down the carpet.

“Cas…” Dean whispers, “Cas- what’s going on? …”

“I’m surprised you haven’t guessed at it yet…” Cas replies quietly.

Dean furrows his brow, “Does that mean I’m stupid or somethin’? …”

“Absolutely not…” Cas assures, and then smiles again, “Just let it come as it does, Dean.”

The alpha is steady by Dean’s side, guiding them down the walkway as something comes into view. Lights above Dean’s head begin to slowly come to life as their brightness strengthens as the couple passes beneath them. Dean can finally see people standing around the carpet, huge smiles plaster onto all of their faces. There’s friends of his, and some people light up as they see Cas walk down with the omega, and Dean wonders what in the hell is going on. However, Dean waves and smiles as best as he can, confusion be damned.

Near what looks like to be an altar, Sammy and Adam are holding tiny baskets full of rose petals and what looks like to be mini versions of Dean’s favorite candy. Dean’s jaw drops suddenly, especially when he sees Bobby in a suit and his hair is slicked back without his baseball cap on top of it. He’s grinning at Dean, and Charlie by his side dressed up like a formal Leia. Dean laughs despite himself, and he finds Cas stopping them as they reach the altar.

“You know, Cas…” Dean says quietly, “This kind of looks like we’re getting married…”

Cas shrugs, “Who knows… Maybe we are.”

Dean’s jaw drops for a second time, “You’re kidding me-”

Cas shushes him with a chaste kiss, which the crowd chuckles at before Bobby clears his throat.

“We are gathered here today to enjoy the holy union of Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester.”

The words cause Dean to blink emptily in surprise, however, he isn’t finding the desire to run away.

“Castiel, I’m gonna make this short n’ sweet because I only have a few more minutes to do this, so here we go.” the crowd laughs at Bobby’s abruptness, by it’s okay- “Castiel, would you like to take Dean as your lawful wedded husband?”

“I do.”

Bobby turns to Dean then, his smile growing, “And Dean, will you take this perfect-for-you idjit as your husband?”

Dean laughs, “Of fucking course!”

The people around Dean smile and laugh alongside him as Bobby chuckles, “By the power invested in me by the state with a temporary license, I pronounce you two idjits married n’ stuff.”

“Wonderfully put, Bobby.” Dean teases, and the old man just shrugs, muttering something like, 'best I could do' before winking.

Cas, however, has his own plans, and he kisses Dean almost full force as people begin cheering and clapping. Dean chuckles against Cas’ lips, and Sammy and Adam pelt them with rose petals and candy. Dean catches a couple of them, only to stuff Castiel’s mouth with the pieces of sugary goodness once they part.

“There’s my surprise, _dear!”_ Dean jokes, and begins to laugh.

Yeah- surprises are good.

 

**…**

 

It’s a little after the surprise wedding now, and Dean has already said hello and goodbye to other people as they came and went. Cas is happily by his side, one arm wrapped around Dean’s waist loosely- a ring similar to the omega’s placed on his finger. It’s after everyone is cleared out that Dean sees who was behind it all, and Dean smiles when he sees Bobby and Charlie with his brothers, but tilts his head towards another man standing among the others.

“So, how’s my older brother?” he asks teasingly, ruffling the alpha’s hair, “He hasn’t given you any trouble has he? I’ll put him in line- all you have to do is give me the word, Dean!”

“Gabriel, _please-”_ Cas tries to bat away his- apparently- brother’s hand.

Dean furrows his brow in confusion, watching the two interact, “I didn’t know you had siblings, Cas.”

Cas shrugs nonchalantly, “Neither did I for most of my life… but it turns out that he’s my _half_ brother. My father met someone else after he and my mother split. Gabriel was their son. I’ve only known about him since I sent the wedding invitation to my father’s household, and Gabriel contacted me a few hours after it had arrived. We’ve only been in each other’s lives for a week or so now.”

“So yeah- we’re not _officially_ brothers, but…” Gabriel shrugs, smiling as he glances at Cas, “Who cares? I love him just the same.”

Cas rolls his eyes playfully, “Yes, Gabriel has wormed his way into my heart as well-”

“I’m not a parasite, dammit!” Gabriel lightly punches Cas’ arm, “Quit makin’ me sound like one!”

Cas just chuckles, and Dean can’t help but smile.

It seems like they’re finally building a family.

 

**…**

 

“Cas…” Dean groans, holding his face pitifully over the toilet, “Cas… need you…”

Cas comes into the bathroom, crouching down beside his husband and mate as he vomits into the toilet bowl, “Are you alright, Dean?”

Dean sputters few more moments, coughing into the soiled water with a nasty taste lingering on his tongue, “Yeah… I think I might have food poisoning again…”

“ _Again?”_ Cas rubs into Dean’s tensed shoulders, “You’ve had it for the past few days, Dean… Do you think you should visit a doctor?”

“N-No…” Dean gags again, speaking after a few moments of his stomach convulsing, “M’fine…”

Dean doesn’t have to be looking at the alpha to know he’s shaking his head, “Dean, you have to be sick with something like a bug or virus, this isn’t food poisoning.”

Dean rests against Cas’ chest, breathing roughly as the alpha flushes the toilet for him, “There’s got to be some reason I can’t hold shit down anymore…” Dean grabs Cas’ hand, taking two of the available fingers and guiding them to his stomach, “And look at this, Cas! _Look!”_ he takes the alpha’s fingertips and makes them squeeze the ample flesh down below, something you couldn’t have done a few weeks ago, “I’m fat, too! I’ve gained _ten_ pounds, Cas! _Ten god damn pounds!”_

“Dean, you’re not fat-”

“Am too!” Dean begins crying for no reason, “God I’m so ugly and nasty and fat and gross and I vomit up anything- Cas I would vomit up _air_ if my lungs and stomach were connected, I swear!”

Cas sighs, brushing away the numerous tears on Dean’s cheeks, “Dean… how many tests do you have left?”

Dean blinks for a few seconds, speaking quietly, “T-Tests? …”

“Pregnancy tests.”

Dean stills, “Oh… I, uh- just one, I think…”

“Have you tested yourself recently?”

Dean shakes his head, “Um… no?”

Cas leans in a few more inches, “When was the last time you took one?”

“B-Before our wedding… It w-was negative...” Dean stutters, leaning against the counter.

“I think that you may need to take one again… It would make sense… High sex drive, your mood swings, your changed appetite, a bit of weight gain… it all adds up. You haven’t even had a partial heat yet like the doctor said you would. I’m surprised we didn’t notice sooner- it was so obvious.”

Dean looks down, “I’m sorry… My body hasn’t been on the best of terms with me for a little while… I can’t help it that every single time we get in the sheets that I have a partial heat, or that I couldn’t tell how I skipped things n’ stuff… But I’ll take it, okay? Just to be sure.”

Cas kisses Dean on the lips chastely, “Okay, Dean… I’ll give you some privacy. When it’s ready, I’ll be out in the room if you need me.”

Dean nods, then proceeds to go under the counter, finding the small box and opening it. He bites his bottom lip and takes a deep breath.

 

**…**

 

It’s been three weeks since Dean’s surprise marriage, and one since the bathroom incident. He has Sammy and Adam huddled around the couch. The omega is sitting against Cas’ chest, and their hands rest over the slight bump that has formed on Dean’s stomach.

“We have something important to tell you…” Dean says excitedly, like the secret of the universe is about to be uttered from his lips, “Come closer, and I’ll tell you…”

His younger brothers move in closely, and listen to the whispered words that Dean says, and suddenly their faces light up.

“ _We’re gonna be uncles- we’re gonna be uncles!”_ they dance around in the room, Adam giving up after a few minutes to just sit on the floor and sing along happily with Sam.

Dean chuckles at the sight, and pecks Cas’ lips quickly.

Yeah… surprises aren’t bad at all...

 


End file.
